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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not move on the train?

1004 replies

TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 12:30

I was on a very busy packed train with my friend and DS. DS was in a sling, we had the buggy and I was feeding him. We were standing by the doors (no one offered us seats!) trying to feed a screaming baby, penned in by others standing. There was no where we could go.

People tried to push past us to get out the doors and nearly sent DS flying. I firmly asked if they could use one of the other doors and I literally couldn't go anywhere. Cue mutterings and dirty looks!

We couldn't collapse the pram there wasn't room to do and as no one had offered a seat we couldn't move anywhere! WIBU to ask them to use another door?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:27

And yet I'm considerate of others with extra needs on trains and in general. Yet no one can do it for me because of the poor commuters. Right.

OP posts:
mintoil · 12/01/2016 17:29

YABU. Obviously you won't accept it, but you are.

It's pathetic to just throw your hands in the air and say "I'm not a planner" as if that excuses your behaviour and attitudes. The world doesn't revolve around you just because you had a baby. You absolutely should not have got on a packed train without collapsing the buggy. I don't believe you couldn't do it once you were on either.

It sounds like you just expected everyone to get out of your pay and pander to you.

If the train was so packed you couldn't operate properly then you shouldn't have got on, or should have got off and waited for another one so you weren't blocking the exits. You sounds really selfish.

MrsWhirling · 12/01/2016 17:30

I work in central London and travel by train during peak time every day. I hate it. I actually like babies on trains, because I like babies. I am also mum to two small children who, so totally understand how hard it is to travel with them and all their equipment. However, you can't block a doorway and if you find yourself in that position, you have to get off and back on again at each stop to let people off. You also should fold buggy, but appreciate this is hard. I'm sorry no-one gave you a seat. I see people on my journey regularly giving their seats up for people who need it more. Commuting is really hard. Did I mention how much I hate it?

Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:31

I can't stand how people are always rushing and inconsiderate. Take some time, relax, stop pushing people and have empathy. I've missed my train before because I was helping someone in a wheelchair. Nothing happened I just got the next one. Because I'm nice. Yet someone can't use a different door in this situation.

It pisses me off

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:32

Mrs thank you for voicing your disagreement in a pleasant and non rude way, I appreciate that

OP posts:
Shutthatdoor · 12/01/2016 17:32

It pisses me off

I think we'very all gathered that!

lorelei9 · 12/01/2016 17:32

OP "I have never had a problem before though."

er, that's the nature of planning, is it not? You plan something in advance so that you don't encounter a raft of problems? Waiting till they occur is, er, not planning.

Anyway, be fair. It's happened now so why not plan ahead in future? You clearly didnt enjoy being on a rush hour train (you'd need your head read if you did).

And really, think about this thread. I haven't been on MN long but a) I think it's a very supportive place and b) I haven't seen AIBU like this - (except for someone who got cross because she stopped suddenly to check her phone at the top of an escalator and then someone walked past her muttering FFS, which she thought was U to the point that she drew us a diagram of her checking her phone and not getting on the escalator. It didn't help).

this thread has really helped my long boring day though so thanks.

Kintan · 12/01/2016 17:33

OP your reponses to people on this thread are really making me laugh (at you not with you!).

lorelei9 · 12/01/2016 17:33

OP "I've missed my train before because I was helping someone in a wheelchair. Nothing happened I just got the next one."

I can just imagine how you'd react if you were needing to collect your child from a facility where they charge according to how late you are. (next guess - you're going to tell me you didn't know these places existed).

donadumaurier · 12/01/2016 17:33

OP you're not listening. You CANNOT take time to get off a train when you only have a tiny window in which to get off before the doors close and the train leaves with you still on it! Please TRY and put yourself in other people's shoes for half a second.

Roussette · 12/01/2016 17:34

I would be seriously pissed off if you'd ask me to use another door, that is beyond ridiculous. So I comply with your request and find everyone has got off at the other exit, and everyone has regrouped by the door and I can't get through and get off....

I honestly would have more sympathy if you hadn't had a friend with you. She sounds as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

I am a reasonable commuter, I really am, but not with entitled people who act like the train is laid on especially for them. YABVU.

CultureSucksDownWords · 12/01/2016 17:34

I would happily have asked you if you wanted to take my seat and I always would for anyone I think might need it. But, lots of people will not want to voluntarily, so they'll avoid eye contact, stick their headphones in and concentrate on not noticing you. You have to ask people. Really. And ask people to move down the aisles if they're squashing you. You aren't going to get anywhere passively waiting for the situation to improve.

ItchyArmpits · 12/01/2016 17:34

I'm considerate of others with extra needs on trains

What, like when you blocked the door? You have no idea whether all the people you directed to go to the other door had extra needs or not.

Mind. Boggled.

emotionsecho · 12/01/2016 17:35

That is not what people are saying OP.

You want consideration you need to also be considerate. Blocking the exit and then telling passengers trying to exit the train to use another door was inconsiderate.

DotForShort · 12/01/2016 17:35

Love this thread. Of course you were being unreasonable, OP. Just own your mistake. It's time for a moment of zen.

Though I must say I think my favourite line in the whole thread has to be "It's tragic you weren't offered a seat." Yes, a tragedy of untold proportions. I shall weep, just knowing the pain that the OP experienced. Grin (FTR, I do think that someone should have given the OP a seat. But to call the situation tragic is deliciously overwrought.)

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/01/2016 17:36

No I wasn't being unreasonable.

Fucking brilliant! One of the best in a long time. Op sitting at home, proud she stood her ground, while every other mnetters is laughing/shaking their head in despair.

PlaymobilPirate · 12/01/2016 17:36

Commuters are often parents too op - I'm up north so not London.

I work long hours then leg it to the station, often have to push onto trains (packed, rush hour...) because, guess what - I want to get home and see my baby after a long day away from him.

If you stopped me getting off and I had to trek to the other end of the carriage, potentially missing my stop and potentially missing having supper with him we'd be having serious words.

Did people really do as you asked and go to the other doors? I'd have fucking climbed over you and your shopping!

Oh - and it's sling OR buggy, not both if you're going to be taking up room.

sparechange · 12/01/2016 17:36

And yet I'm considerate of others with extra needs on trains and in general. Yet no one can do it for me because of the poor commuters. Right.

You are confusing 'consideration' with 'special treatment'

You were asking for special treatment.
Consideration was what all the other passengers got. People not stamping on their feet, despite being crammed up together.

You wanted extra space AND help collapsing your pram and god knows what else, despite the whole thing being a situation of your own making.
Take the baby out of the equation, and this is basically "AIBU because I went shopping and had far more bags than I could handle AND NO ONE offered to carry all my bags home and put me on a sedan chair and fan me to ease my woes"

If you plan your shopping trips on the assumption you're going to be treated like royalty when you've bought too much just because you've got a child, then you are in for a shock...

MirandaGoshawk · 12/01/2016 17:37

It sounds horribly frustrating OP, trying to feed a baby standing up. Where were people's manners? But to expect people who wanted to get off to walk along the carriage to another door is BU. What if the train moved off before they made it & they missed their stop? Finding the door blocked by your buggy would've sent me into a panic!

PlaymobilPirate · 12/01/2016 17:37

oh - and how the fuck was anyone meant to see you, crushed in the doorway, to offer you a seat??

Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:40

But, lots of people will not want to voluntarily, so they'll avoid eye contact, stick their headphones in and concentrate on not noticing you. You have to ask people. Really. And ask people to move down the aisles if they're squashing you. You aren't going to get anywhere passively waiting for the situation to improve.

I think I was U not to ask anyone to move but I think it's bad people don't offer tbh

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/01/2016 17:41

Duh Playmobil, XRAY VISION. All passengers on trains should hhave it, just in case situations like this arise.

littleleftie · 12/01/2016 17:42

OP there are approximately 550 responses to you, of which about three don't think you are unreasonable. Have a little think about that eh?

I have been on trains where passengers have just pushed peoples buggies and actually pushed actual people off if they are blocking the door. It sounds to me like you got off fairly lightly.

Due to your horrific sense of entitlement, someone may have missed an urgent medical appointment/job interview but you clearly couldn't give a shit.

maybebabybee · 12/01/2016 17:42

I can't stand how people are always rushing and inconsiderate. Take some time, relax, stop pushing people and have empathy.

Lol. You might want to try for some empathy yourself OP.

I repeat: I would love not to travel in rush hour. Really. Sadly I don't have the option. You moaning about commuters when you chose to travel.needlessly in rush hour is as ridiculous as me complaining the zoo is full of shrieking children when I visit it in half term Confused

Mad.

Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:42

No spare change just reasonable allowances

OP posts:
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