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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not move on the train?

1004 replies

TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 12:30

I was on a very busy packed train with my friend and DS. DS was in a sling, we had the buggy and I was feeding him. We were standing by the doors (no one offered us seats!) trying to feed a screaming baby, penned in by others standing. There was no where we could go.

People tried to push past us to get out the doors and nearly sent DS flying. I firmly asked if they could use one of the other doors and I literally couldn't go anywhere. Cue mutterings and dirty looks!

We couldn't collapse the pram there wasn't room to do and as no one had offered a seat we couldn't move anywhere! WIBU to ask them to use another door?

OP posts:
lorelei9 · 12/01/2016 16:54

OP - you think that a website called "Mumsnet" - subtitled "by parents for parents" - is going to be less sympathetic to what you said than a group of people who don't use a website called "Mumsnet"

seriously though, I live in London - not sure if you think that's better or worse or if we are all extra eeevil down here or what - and I'm increasingly seeing people with babies and toddlers in the rush hour because of workplaces providing creches. I do get annoyed that there isn't more of a culture of folding buggies, but I see plenty of people helping other people and actually a baby in rush hour is a distraction for some of us so there's a lot of cooing and making nice faces at baby and I've taken baby off someone's hands so they can collapse their buggy.

we're actually quite nice down here! but everything in your post suggests to me that you are determined to see all commuters as eeeeeevil.

donadumaurier · 12/01/2016 16:57

I once ended up in the middle of London trying to get home from university (home was NOT London!) because I went to get off at my stop and couldn't get out of the carriage past a couple of mothers with pushchairs in front of the doors. By the time I got through and realised I wasn't going to be able to get off past the pushchairs, ran down to the other end of the carriage and to the doors with my suitcase, it was too late and the doors had closed. Next stop was half an hour away, so had to stay on and persuade the guard at at the London station to let me on a train back home. Added over an hour onto my journey just because people think it's OK to block the doors with pushchairs.

YABVU.

lorelei9 · 12/01/2016 16:57

as for "people with kids shouldn't have to travel offpeak" - why do you want to travel in rush hour? It's hell on earth, most of us would love to travel off peak.

besides, you haven't been banned from travelling at peak time, and it's cheaper to travel off peak! Who gets on the train in rush hour and says "oh dear, it's much busier than I thought..."

Jw35 · 12/01/2016 16:57

Wow give the op a break!

I carried my baby in a sling and also took the buggy everywhere! I then had the option
I also feed on demand and wouldn't have fed a baby that wasn't hungry before boarding just in case there wasn't room-weird logic!

You know what op? It's tragic you weren't offered a seat, it's crap people pushed past you and it's maternal instinct to ask people to move elsewhere. I don't think you were being unreasonable although I wouldn't expect commuters to use other doors.

Personally I find it easier to avoid peak times with babies. If I was going into London (I know you're not London based but I am) I would leave early morning and go home around 3.
It's also a good idea to use a light weight buggy if possible so it's a simple fold. I use a maclaren in London and a big 3 wheeler at home.

Have a Wine and chill. You had a crap day. 18lb babies are heavy!

allegretto · 12/01/2016 16:58

Not letting people get off a train is never acceptable, sorry.

lilone1234 · 12/01/2016 16:59

It's like none of you people have tried to travel on public transport with DC! Of course you are all perfect, always fold your buggy while holding child and bags with your six hands.

Maybebee - what a hard working lot you sound. Poor stressed out commuters.

OP - you don't have to justify why you had a buggy and sling and you are entitled to travel when you want like everyone else that pays for a ticket. It is a shame, but typical, that you weren't offered a seat and if the train started filling up when you were already on then can see that it would have been very difficult to fold pram. However, although I see your point here YABU to ask people to use other doors as they have as much right to use those doors as you do to be on the train. It's just an unpleasant experience you have to get through and try and be out the way as much as possible.

Personally I would very much try to avoid rush hour travelling with baby especially with a buggy as it is a stressful situation and you do get loads of shit from commuters with no soul. It is stressful being commuter with no soul too but public transport really does bring out the nasty side in people. If it had been so bad as nearly sending my DC flying I would probably have just got off!

Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 16:59

Jw35 thank you. I'm still having a crap day, made worse by keyboard warriors constantly shouting BUT WHY DIDNT YOU DO X at me.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 12/01/2016 17:00

Surely most people go out of their way to avoid rush hours trains if it all possible? Especially if they have young children with them!

Bubblesinthesummer · 12/01/2016 17:01

As I have said before if a train is "very busy' wait for the next one.

I have to all the time.

Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:01

I just use the trains when I need to. I've never considered rush hour before or not.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 12/01/2016 17:01

Instead of getting angry at people why not actually stop and take on what is being said and then it will make future trips much easier!

Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:02

bubbles so why didn't the people who got on after me and trapped me do that?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:02

Because I don't think I was being U Sirzy

OP posts:
Bubblesinthesummer · 12/01/2016 17:02

I just use the trains when I need to. I've never considered rush hour before or not.

Well after today maybe start to.

I have to.

donadumaurier · 12/01/2016 17:04

OP, so are you saying it's OK for people to not be able to get off the train and end up somewhere totally different to where they wanted to like I did so people like you can put your pushchair in front of the doors? Hmm

Sirzy · 12/01/2016 17:04

So why start the thread in the first place then?

And no point getting angry when you are obviously being unreasonable if people keep pointing that out!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/01/2016 17:04

Oh for goodness sake! Now self pity?! Really?! You POSTED people told you you behaved like a dick completely unacceptably. They asked why you didn't do one of the umpteen solutions available but we are in the wrong?

Riiiiiiiight.

Seriously OP, you're sounding deluded now.

Luckygirlcharlie · 12/01/2016 17:06

Lilone1234 wtf are you talking about 'commuters with no soul'?? That's as bad as OP calling us all twats! Some of us have successful careers and unfortunately have to endure cramped conditions to get to them that's all! Having travelled through 2 pregnancies one a line into Waterloo I have encountered nothing but kindness from all sorts of people - other commuters - most of whom have their own lovely children and plenty of soul thanks very much! What a stupid thing to say.

TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:09

This reply has been deleted

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Bubblesinthesummer · 12/01/2016 17:10

bubbles so why didn't the people who got on after me and trapped me do that?

They didn't have to consider a baby, buggy, bags and clumsy friend

DragonRojo · 12/01/2016 17:10

So you and your friend are clumsy, you are also unable to time your outing so that it doesn't clash with rush hour and on the top of that, you don't learn from previous experiences, as by your own admittance, you have encountered us rude commuters before. Sorry, but there is no hope for you. Next time book a seat, or travel in the middle of the day or just don't travel. Public transport is what it is and you don't seem to be cut for it.

Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:10

And your solutions other than folding the buggy beforehand wouldn't have worked, and that didn't help when I'm already on the bloody train.

OP posts:
PersephonePitstop · 12/01/2016 17:11

Because I don't think I was being U

So why the hell did you post in AIBU and ask if YWBU if you're so bloody convinced (wrongly) that you weren't? Hmm

lorelei9 · 12/01/2016 17:11

OP "I just use the trains when I need to. I've never considered rush hour before or not"

well, do. I have to say, all of your posts throughout this thread make me feel you are the sort of person who goes through life without considering much at all - i.e. just doing and not thinking.

Serious suggestion - go and calm down, come back to the thread tomorrow and try to read it with an open mind. People "not thinking" doesn't really help anyone!

Original poster
TheCatsMeow · 12/01/2016 17:12

I thought other parents would be supportive. Obviously not as this is MN, where we happily rip into each other.

OP posts:
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