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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I take the day off work tomorrow for dh?

161 replies

AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 18:49

Posting here for higher traffic. Dh had been feeling unwell all week and yesterday informed me that he thought he might have a water infection. Said if he was feeling the same this morning he would go to the walk in centre.

Well he was feeling MUCH worse this morning. Feverish, shakey and can't per at all.

Walk in diagnosed a UTI and prescribed antib's. He hasn't been well at all today. Had been fevrish all day and vomited (only once).
He is obviously taking the day of work tomorrow. I was intending to go in, however, a friend who is not known for being melodramatic and whom I trust had said if he doesn't go for a wee soon he could end up with a catheter and in a lot of pain. She said someone should stay home with him to keep an eye on him.

Of course if I do need to stay home I wouldn't question it. But what do you think. He does seem quite unwell and he is never sick.
What should I do?

OP posts:
RubbleBubble00 · 10/01/2016 18:50

is he urinating at all?

GloriaHotcakes · 10/01/2016 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 10/01/2016 18:54

I'd go to work unless he's so seriously ill he has to be admitted to hospital before tomorrow.

MrsHathaway · 10/01/2016 18:54

DH and I can both work from home so probably we would try for that in the first instance.

How near is work? Could you and he keep in regular text/phone contact and you dash home if you think he's deteriorating or if he hasn't passed urine by midday or whatever?

Tbh it depends a lot on what kind of job you have and what consequences would result from the day off.

lucymootoo · 10/01/2016 18:57

I would go to work he's an adult .... Once the antibiotics kick in he should hopefully start feeling much better.

IsItMeOr · 10/01/2016 18:57

Your poor DH, sounds very unpleasant. I'd see what the morning brings - but I would be able to work from home and would if he was still this bad - can you?

RandomMess · 10/01/2016 18:58

Could he be too dehydrated to need to pee?

If he's been feverish and not drinking much he could be severely dehydrated, has he been drinking plenty of water?

JennyOnAPlate · 10/01/2016 18:59

How long since he last peed and how much has he had to drink?

shouldiblowthewhistle · 10/01/2016 19:00

I'd go to work and make sure he has his mobile by him.

MissOnomer · 10/01/2016 19:02

If he isn't peeing and still has high temp (40+) I would call out of hours for advice about whether to go to a&e tonight. If his temp is coming down and he's peeing I think you can feel things are going in the right direction and work for you will be ok. Your DH will likely need more than one day off. UTIs in younger men are unusual and he should go to his GP and ask for an ultrasound for his bladder to check for any nasties.

LIZS · 10/01/2016 19:02

How far is work , or the doctor. Go in and leave phone and taxi number to hand.

kslatts · 10/01/2016 19:04

I would go to work, he could call if he needs you

londonrach · 10/01/2016 19:05

Has he urinated? If so when, how much, colour? Keep a diary. Is he drinking. Im slightly more concerned that others on mn as i almost lost my dad this way. Your dh might need hospital treatment. My df was told he was close of death due to toxin buildup (thats what he was told) and looked 9 months pregnant after a problem which meant he couldnt gone for some time. They kept him in for a couple of days and left a catheter in for weeks afterwards. He ok now (fit as a fiddle) but we so glad my mum just took him to a&e that day, ignoring his gp.

Im not sure re work. Thats your decision. Do you have someone who could check on him? Personally im not a worrier but if he hasnt gone today id take him to hospital tonight.

Im sure a nurse will be on soon with better advice. I only know as a concerned daughter. Hope dh is better soon x

ProfGrammaticus · 10/01/2016 19:06

Go - he can ring if he needs you.

MissOnomer · 10/01/2016 19:06

I think going to work really depends on whether he pees and how high his temp is. I don't want to scare you but my husband had this and went delirious - he couldn't have contacted anyone in the state he was in

HermioneJeanGranger · 10/01/2016 19:07

Go to work. He can call you if he needs to go to hospital.

Blue14 · 10/01/2016 19:09

go to work. He can call you if he needs you. You can call him to check up on him.

londonrach · 10/01/2016 19:09

Agree missonomer my dad got to that state and no way could be phone to ask for help. If you do go work id arrange someone to pop in every couple of hours.

TheWitTank · 10/01/2016 19:09

Poor bloke, that's sounds awful. I've had one that nearly hospitalised me-luckily antibiotics kicked in just in time before I was admitted. I would go to work and check in regularly with him. He can call you if needs be.

moveoverhogger · 10/01/2016 19:12

Of course you go to work, even if he has to go to hospital you should still go to work. He's an adult & you aren't a doctor so there's not a lot you can do for him. Call nhs direct for advice on what he should do.

MissOnomer · 10/01/2016 19:13

londonrach is right - I was going to leave the bit out about it being potentially life threatening - but if his temp is still 40+ and he hasn't peed please get advice. Don't depend on him bring able to contact you - as I said earlier my husband was delirious and incapable of contacting anyone. If temp down and peeing then going to work should be fine.

AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 19:13

Thank you. He has managed little dribbles more. Has drunk about a litre of water as he has been asleep almost all day.

I am a t.a in a reception class so can't work from home ( which is why I am reluctant to stay off) . They could rejiggle other t.a's but I hate leaving them short.
I only work about 3 miles away but don't drive myself (not a problem as I have a lift for the getting into work/kids to school if I need it).

It concerns me as both dh and I just don't go to the doctors/have time off work unless we are really ill (we just don't have the time). So dh has left it a bit before going to the docs this morning.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 10/01/2016 19:14

When did he last wee?

MrsDeVere · 10/01/2016 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 19:15

My days what an awful post for typos. I should admit at this time I might have had a few glasses of wine Blush this was of course before my friend for me so worried about my dh!

OP posts: