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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I take the day off work tomorrow for dh?

161 replies

AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 18:49

Posting here for higher traffic. Dh had been feeling unwell all week and yesterday informed me that he thought he might have a water infection. Said if he was feeling the same this morning he would go to the walk in centre.

Well he was feeling MUCH worse this morning. Feverish, shakey and can't per at all.

Walk in diagnosed a UTI and prescribed antib's. He hasn't been well at all today. Had been fevrish all day and vomited (only once).
He is obviously taking the day of work tomorrow. I was intending to go in, however, a friend who is not known for being melodramatic and whom I trust had said if he doesn't go for a wee soon he could end up with a catheter and in a lot of pain. She said someone should stay home with him to keep an eye on him.

Of course if I do need to stay home I wouldn't question it. But what do you think. He does seem quite unwell and he is never sick.
What should I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 20:13

His parents would joke about sorry. I really hate predictive txt. It is ridiculous !

OP posts:
CockwombleJeff · 10/01/2016 20:36

Hmmat the harsh posters who think just just because he's an adult he can look after himself !

Newsflash : adults can be ill and NOTable to look after themselves ... If that were the case I'd be out of a job.

OP your DH sounds v unwell. It is possible that if you leave him he may well in that period of time need you to take him to ED.

ProbablyMe · 10/01/2016 20:50

I think you should get him seen again asap. My 12 yo son gets lots of UTIs and has been hospitalised many times (50+ - he has medical condition which leads to these).

If your husband is barely peeing but also drinking comparatively little he may need a drip to replace fluids. For comparison, when my son is ill he requires around 4 litres of fluids a day and he is a child. He needs fluids to maintain renal function and ensure toxins are take out of his system - the fact that you said your DH smelt badly would also concern me alongside his other symptoms as the toxins that build up in the system can make your sweat smell horrible.

MrsDeVere · 10/01/2016 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 20:57

Probably me - thank you for that. Sorry to hear about your son that sounds awful! Is it a good sign that he has managed to pee (albeit in the bath yuk!) . Would delaying it until the morning be a terribly bad idea. I am sufficiently worried but also as a family we tend to not like to cause and unnecessary fuss. Obviously I don't want to leave him until the morning If it is likely to cause serious problems. Ma

OP posts:
Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 20:58

Madsaz- is your advice still the same given the current wee situation?

OP posts:
KwickNC · 10/01/2016 20:59

It's not recommended to leave till the morning due to sepsis or other complications (I'm on a med student though so maybe someone more knowledgeable can help) my mum who recommended a&e very rarely suggests a&e

Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 20:59

MrsDeVere- you are of course quite right. But it would appear I may have underestimated the seriousness of the situation in my op. I we concerned that my usually very down to earth friend was being a bit sensationalist.

OP posts:
KwickNC · 10/01/2016 21:00

Sorry missed about the peeing! Overtired.

How is he feeling now?

MrsDeVere · 10/01/2016 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 21:03

Still in the bath Kwick - I am just about to check on him. Generally he is worse than me for his baths and can stay in there for up to 2 hours!

OP posts:
Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 21:04

Thank you MrsDevere :-) I don't like seeing my dh so poorly.

OP posts:
londonrach · 10/01/2016 21:05

I ecco mrsd and hope he feels better soon. My dad had a blockage and yes i surpose he is elderly (realises for the first time my parents arent young anymore) being a young 70 ish but as others had said even in a young age you cant be to careful. Get well soon op dh x

ProbablyMe · 10/01/2016 21:05

Astrid - was his pee very dark? Has he still got a temp/rigors? Is he managing to drink lots?

If he's drinking (lots) more and his temp/rigors are under control then perhaps wait. If not, I'd get him seen personally. The pp who mentioned sepsis is not exaggerating and it's not worth the risk. A doctor/hospital can also monitor his blood pressure as well as checking his bloods which can both j dictate bigger issues.

And in reply to the poster who suggested that posters not give medical advice - I think you should take the day off tomorrow, and I'm only giving advice as bloody UTIs are my personal specialist area (DS has another flaming one now although he's at home in on antibiotics this time luckily).

BoffinMum · 10/01/2016 21:06

MY DD had this and ended up with kidney problems and was in hospital for five days. I would get someone to see him tonight in case he needs stronger ABs.

StayWithMe · 10/01/2016 21:11

Please go to A&E. The worst that can happen, if you go, is getting different antibiotics or told that he has to wait for them to kick in.

My DH took, what appeared to be, a urine infection. I got an emergency appointment because I had a bad feeling about it. He hadn't been to the doctor in over 10 yrs, so they were very obliging. Turned out he had sepsis and was extremely ill by the time we got to the hospital, a few mins later.

Nothing bad is going to happen if you take him, but may if you don't. Good luck OP.

StayWithMe · 10/01/2016 21:14

Also, OP, make sure you if your husband tell the medics abut any problems, such as the urgency and kidney pain, in the past. Even if it seems unimportant, give them the information.

madsaz76 · 10/01/2016 21:20

the fact he had a pee is great as there is some urine - as a proper oddbod I like to see that patients have urine!

however its the high fever, drowsiness and UTI in a young male that are red flags to me

I frequently decline to give medical advice on the internet. However what I am giving is advice to seek a face to face opinion with a suitably qualified medical professional - I am not attempting to treat your other half.

There is an increasing awareness in the medical community that we need to publicise sepsis - which is a syndrome that arises as a consequence of an infection rather than a disease in itself. We know that treating it as an emergency saves lives.

WE also know that loads of people who fulfill the criteria of sepsis will do ok with suboptimal treatment but that mortality for severe red flag sepsis goes up with each hours delay of the right antibiotic.

As a registered medical practitioner I cannot advise in any other way than to get him checked out - as I cannot tell you he is safe at home on oral antibiotic. What I know is rigors, drowsiness and temp of 40 are all red flags for me. You could also take his pulse & breathing rate - pulse of >90 and breathing >20 would add evidence for him being unwell.

So the only safe advice I can give to anyone reporting someone has these symptoms is to get seen sooner rather than later, even if it turns out he is ok. I can't imagine anyone being upset at seeing a 35 year old man with fever, rigors, drowsiness and reduced urine output.

Lweji · 10/01/2016 21:23

Just saw this thread and was thinking A&E before I read the qualified pp.
I think I'd still go unless he shows quick and marked improvements.

Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 21:24

Thank you we are just off to A and E now.

OP posts:
Donthate · 10/01/2016 21:30

Good luck OP, hope your dp is ok.

chillycurtains · 10/01/2016 21:30

I would stay home and then if he improves go in at lunchtime. As you are a TA, they could just send everyone back to their original classrooms if you make it in after lunch. Family comes first and you would never forgive yourself if your DH took a turn for the worst and needed a doctor urgently. It's just not worth it.

HicDraconis · 10/01/2016 21:37

I posted on this and lost it. Glad you are off to A&E now.

UTI in a young male with the symptoms you describe sounds like it's heading to urosepsis if not already there. This can be life threatening and I've certainly put too many young men on life support last year because the feeling was "it's just a water infection". Often there is an obstructed kidney (stones are a common culprit) which has started things off and it can end up being a bag full of pus if not drained.

While I realise the original question was "should you stay home from work tomorrow" - my answer was "don't worry about tomorrow, get to A&E now. Get him checked out properly tonight and worry about tomorrow once he's been seen and assessed."

I would guess that he needs IV antibiotics and fluids, possibly an ultrasound scan to check his ureters and kidneys as a minimum and to be kept in overnight, but without seeing and examining him it's hard to say for sure - hence the advice to go to A&E.

And yes, urosepsis is an emergency and so A&E is the place for him to be seen.

ThreeLeggedCat · 10/01/2016 21:39

Good, really glad you are going to A & E.

bakeoffcake · 10/01/2016 21:39

Glad you're going Smile

I had to take DH in two days after Xmas. It turned out not to be serious but he was very unwell and the Drs said we had done the right thing.