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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I take the day off work tomorrow for dh?

161 replies

AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 18:49

Posting here for higher traffic. Dh had been feeling unwell all week and yesterday informed me that he thought he might have a water infection. Said if he was feeling the same this morning he would go to the walk in centre.

Well he was feeling MUCH worse this morning. Feverish, shakey and can't per at all.

Walk in diagnosed a UTI and prescribed antib's. He hasn't been well at all today. Had been fevrish all day and vomited (only once).
He is obviously taking the day of work tomorrow. I was intending to go in, however, a friend who is not known for being melodramatic and whom I trust had said if he doesn't go for a wee soon he could end up with a catheter and in a lot of pain. She said someone should stay home with him to keep an eye on him.

Of course if I do need to stay home I wouldn't question it. But what do you think. He does seem quite unwell and he is never sick.
What should I do?

OP posts:
Finola1step · 10/01/2016 19:16

I would go to work. I would make sure he's got everything he needs to hand before I go. Agree to either check in at certain times or for him to call if he gets worse.

I would only take time off if dh was unable to look after any pre school dc or if he was immobile.

Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 19:16

What awful typos in my post! I should admit at this point that I might have had a few glasses of wine Blush this was of course before my friend got me so worried about my dh!

OP posts:
Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 19:17

Sorry that earlier post didn't seem to work- hence me rewriting it. Clearly too much wine for one night! Steps away from the wine bottle Grin

OP posts:
Karanka · 10/01/2016 19:18

I would stay home if my DW was very ill. What could be so important at work that it couldn't wait and/or be covered for a short absence?

MissOnomer · 10/01/2016 19:18

My husband is 42 and it was life threatening. Doesn't matter about your age if you aren't peeing and your temperature is over 40 it's serious

MissOnomer · 10/01/2016 19:20

The vomiting concerns me too - that could also be an indication that his system is shutting down.

Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 19:21

Ok going to find a thermometer. Dh is 35 and is usually fit as a fiddle. It is very rare to see him so poorly :-(

OP posts:
CountryLovingGirl · 10/01/2016 19:24

I presume the walk in centre did a dipstick test to confirm a UTI? Although they can tell by the increase in white blood cells they can't tell what type of bacteria are causing the infection (a urine culture does that) and what antibiotic will treat it. He may have been given an antibiotic that the bug is resistant to and so it won't work.

He can deteriorate and can be extremely ill. The antibiotic (if it was the right one) would work very quickly and it sounds like he isn't on the right one. Can you take him to an urgent care centre tonight or phone NHS direct (they may ask you to take him to A&E)? It can lead to kidney infection and blood poisoning (can be life threatening). You need to see a doctor tonight. If you were at work tomorrow and he was alone he could collapse/pass out.

Let us know how you get on.

Soooosie · 10/01/2016 19:24

See what he's like in the morning.

Curiouserandcuriouser30 · 10/01/2016 19:24

So he has drunk a litre of water and not utinated except for dribbles? Did they examine him at all when they prescribed antibiotics? I would be worried that they have misdiagnosed a UTI when he might have acute urinary retention. This can be agonisingly painful and if he isn't catheterised in time it can lead to bladder damage and kidney failure. I don't want to seem like I'm overreacting but if he is drinking enough but not urinating that is serious and he needs to be seen tonight.
Can you ring out of hours and push for a scan of his bladder?

Princessdebthe1st · 10/01/2016 19:26

Dear OP,
I am a HCP and would be concerned if he's gone all day without urinating. Does he feel like he need's to go but can't or does he not feel the need to pee at all? If the former take him to the bathroom, run the tap and see if that helps. If it is becoming painful because he can't pee he needs to go to walk in or A&E as he may be in retention. If he doesn't feel that he needs to pee then how much has he been able to drink? If he's drinking normally and not peeing I wouldn't leave it more than 12 hours before taking him to walk in or A&E. If he isn't drinking much but can keep fluids down I would encourage him to drink at least a litre of fluid over the next hour and see if that helps. If not or he can't drink again don't leave it more than 12 hours. If it was my DH's there is no way I would be going to work tomorrow if he hadn't peed yet. Good luck x

CountryLovingGirl · 10/01/2016 19:27

This happened to my nephew at age 19. He ended up so poorly he was rushed to ITU and spent an entire Christmas in hospital a few years back.

ClashCityRocker · 10/01/2016 19:28

If he hasn't done a proper wee by the morning, I'd be ringing 111. If he gets any worse, ring them before.

In this situation, I'd stay off, personally - if I was anywhere I couldn't get back in 15 minutes or was concerned about his ability to contact me or recognise how ill he is. Having said that, I know my bosses would be fine with it, and have been in the past when we've been in a similar situation.

CountryLovingGirl · 10/01/2016 19:30

Get him to a doctor tonight. Definitely don't delay.

Tootyfilou · 10/01/2016 19:33

i would absolutely stay home with him op. No conscientious person likes to take time off unnecessarily, but he sounds ill and I think he needs someone to keep an eye on him.
Keep an eye on his urine output. Measure everytime he urinates. Be needs to be passing 30mls hourly. If he has drunk a litre and his output is less than above , I would contact GP/ NHS direct.
Hope he gets bettet soon .

Cheeseoncrumpets · 10/01/2016 19:33

If he's not able to wee properly he needs to go back to A&E.

Ive had loads of water infections and the AB's usually kick in straight away.

RealityCheque · 10/01/2016 19:33

To tonight. Seriously.

And do not waste your time with 111.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 10/01/2016 19:34

Keep putting water into him, a litre isn't much all day especially if he's a bit dehydrated to start with. Even if you have to wake him to get him to drink.

See what he's like overnight. If he starts peeing and is improving then go in. If he's still not peeing then get medical help as others have said. The difficult call is if he's the same as currently, so I would suggest setting your alarm earlier than usual and calling out of hours doctor for advice on whether DH needs additional treatment.

Yes he is an adult but if he's so ill and potentially could get worse and become incapable of calling for help, you are justified taking the day off. If he's improving and peeing and just ill and miserable then you should go in.

Is there someone you could call this evening to give a heads up to that you may not be in tomorrow?

RealityCheque · 10/01/2016 19:34

go tonight.

BackforGood · 10/01/2016 19:35

karanka - 30 small children

I would go to work.
Unless hospitalised / life threatening I can't see how you can not go to work for someone else's illness.

Original poster
AstridPeth · 10/01/2016 19:36

He has said that he feels he needs to pee all the time. But when he goes nothing comes out for a while. Then he has a dribble and some more dribbles with effort. But no full on proper wee. It Is dark yellow and smelly as you would expect.
Nurse practitioner did the dip test and asked about his symptoms to diagnose his uti. Also took his temp and said it was raised but didn't say how much by.
Mine says 38 . He only took his first antib at about 3 o'clock as he went to the walk in before the pharmarcies were open (otherwise the wait is horrendous! ) so my mum picked them up for him but he was asleep when she got here and I didn't want to wake him.

OP posts:
madsaz76 · 10/01/2016 19:37

How old is DH? While UTI common in women it shouldn't occur in younger men unless there is a structural problem i.e. stagnant urine. IN older men it can be a sign of prostatic issues and either way usually signals obstuctive problems.

If he's having high fevers and difficulty urinating he has ascending symptoms and is potentially septic - which is a life threatening condition. His drowsiness concerns me - could be tired as ill but asleep all day could be delirium. see the following link:

www.hse.ie/eng/about/Who/clinical/natclinprog/sepsis/sepsisleaflet.pdf

If he has an obstructed urinary tract then wont get better unless this is managed.

If he has reduced urine output and no obstruction he probably has an acute kidney injury i.e. an acute deterioration in kidney function due to dehydration, sepsis and other issues.

THese are genuinely potentially life threatening problems. I would not think about work tomorrow I would be considering taking him to a hospital. I know we are currently asking people to stay away a lot at the moment but actually anyone who potentially has sepsis needs an acute assessment including bloods.

Once assessed then you can worry about tomorrow and if it turns out to be a storm in a teacup better that than a serious and frightening deterioration or worse. Please get hi reassessed.

TenTinyTadpoles · 10/01/2016 19:39

I wouldn't take the day off, it's not like he's a sick child.

chocomochi · 10/01/2016 19:42

Sounds like urine retention. He needs to get to A&E tomorrow (if not tonight) to get some help. Hope he is feeling ok and not too uncomfortable.

NerrSnerr · 10/01/2016 19:43

To be honest there is so much conflicting advice on this thread I would call out of hours and get advice from them. My gut feeling is that he probably needs to be checked to see if he's in retention but it's hard to know without knowing exactly how much he's weed.