To find getting older so incredibly sad

[GrillPanEddy]

All of a sudden I feel old. I'm 35 which I know is by no means ancient but physically I'm starting to feel it - little aches and niggles, grey hairs, wrinkles, sagging. Nothing that major but it just keeps dawning on me that I'm getting older.

I bump into people I used to know in my teens and think "fuck they look old".

Looking at my parents getting older breaks my heart. My dad in particular - late 60s and getting grumpy, a bit lazy, a bit slow, a bit out of touch with what's going on. He used to be so lively and in the know about everything.

I feel like my time, my family's time is a all so bloody short. Life is running away from us and making us old in the process. Time goes sooooo quickly these days, the years are merging into each other.

I don't want to get old and don't want others around me to get old. I don't want to see my lovely DH get old.

I don't want to deteriorate mentally or physically but kind of think I've hit my peak without even realizing and it's just age age age from here on in.

Makes me so sad. Feels like a ridiculously unfair part of life. Though I also get how ridiculous that sounds too.

I think it's a shame to start feeling like this in your thirties - you're so young, so much ahead of you!
Fight it my dear.
Do not go gentle into that good night (As Dylan Thomas says)

I've started to feel a bit like this after two difficult close bereavements and with my parents both now in their eighties. Many friends and family fighting various ailments.

No-one should feel this way just because of a few wrinkles.

Kick ass with life!
(or however the young folks would style it )

At work today we were discussing the utter crapness of the Now 92 CDs I bought for ds1's Christmas when compared to the original 1983 Now That's What I Call Music 4 cassette set of our youth

We're getting old and grumpy and don't appreciate modern music, but I'm glad we had Kajagoogoo rather than Justin Bieber (ok, really scrapping the bottom of the barrel there )

I'm going to bloody celebrate my 43 years on earth and all the experiences I've had. It's written all over my face and I don't give a damn. Here's to 43 more. My parents have close on 70 years to celebrate, my gran has 98 - we can't live for ever or there wouldn't be any room for our dcs so just enjoy it while we can.

YABU, to a huge extent. I am 51, a few aches and pains (mostly weight related so my fault). At 35 I was working overseas, having a brill time (albeit looking after holiday reps 15 years younger). Wait until you are a early 50's looking after elderly, sick parents who die (and you are heartbroken).
Get a grip love, enjoy life.

Agree with cupcakes, at 25 I thought my life was over, at 33 I was preparing for a long slide to the grave. That gets easier as you get older, believe me. 40 was my best birthday ever and it's a lot of fun being in my late 40s. I have to say that I work with sick older people so I do rather dread being very old and frail, but I have to remind myself that even at an advanced age those with very debilitating illnesses are still the minority.

It's a privilege. I didn't think I would make it to 19 due to serious illness. Ageing is a blessing

Bloody hell get a grip, 35???? You're in your prime and you're wasting it You've still got your parents, enjoy them!!!

We don't really get long enough at being young do we. But it is sad, I was in a shop today and glanced at myself in a mirror. I was horrified. I've got new wrinkles which I hadn't noticed before. I miss the way I used to look. We get these lovely fresh faces with glowing skin and they literally start falling apart in no time at all.

It just seems a bit crap to end up looking and feeling like older versions of ourselves.

This is the thing, it's not older versions of ourselves. It's us. With our grey hairs and wrinkles. With our experiences and memories. All of these things make us us. Make us who we are.

We're blessed to see these changes happening to ourselves and to those around us who we love.

Those negative thoughts need banishing op and channeling into a more positive way of thinking otherwise you'll never be truly happy.

I agree with the comment, it actually feels better the older you get. You cant do anything about it really so you have to live with it or die.

I'm 38. I went through the sadness at wrinkles etc. as far back as 28, when I started to look much older. Since then, the ageing process hasn't been too quick and I think I look OK for my age. But, I've been incredibly tired this winter and was wondering if that's down to my age. I've also noticed recently that my shoulders are starting to droop. Does anybody know if I can slow that down? I'm hoping the way I was feeling in the run up to Christmas is just the winter blues...

I got into my sexual peak after the birth of my second at 34

it's still going strong

Well said, the best. I cannot abide this self pity at 35 years old, flipping ridiculous.

OP, some people your age are facing terminal illness and would love the luxury of 'normal' ageing. This is life. When you are 35 , you mourn 25, at 45 you mourn 35. There is no point. Just enjoy each life stage as we all age and we will all die. As a pp said, ageing is a privilege, I have lost friends in my 20s and 30s and I am only 44 so I feel lucky.

I'll be 65 this year!. A few years ago I "died" twice on the operating table after a very bad accident. I've, i suppose, been given an extra lease of life by the excellent medical team involved.

Don't feel any real older, just ache here and there a bit, mainly from that incident, but so glad to be around still:)

Yeah a bit of grey hair and a few wrinkles but so what?, really, I'm alive that's all that matters and the quality of life is for me good in many ways does seem better than some 10 - 15 odd years ago.

I have known people who have died young, some who have suffered the ravages of cancers,some friends have gone. I know some very young active older people who are now into their 80's, happy as Larry they are.

It's all in the way you see things i think. I'm doing more working more I love my work!, must be mad then, playing more, just going to have to give up rock climbing but that's for the best!,a new relationship is on the horizon might be a granddad 'ere long.

I'm not complaining at all!

Nice post Muchtoomuch, though hopefully there is much that makes the Eddy happy too?

I guess we can all have such thoughts about life and ageing - our own mortality essentially - to some degree?

But I agree it's a pity to be too focused on appearances - there's so much more to life than that

My family is full of people who live interesting lives regardless of age. I worry that I'm full in comparison, but I don't worry about getting old when my parents are learning, travelling, embracing new skills and experiences in their sixties, and my grandparents were gadding around having a great time until their last year or two when illness cramped their style (although my grandmother spent her final years campaigning in favour of euthanasia and arranging her own assisted suicide, so she was pretty active about her interests even when that interest was death).

I feel a bit frumpy and creaky now, but that's because of my circumstances rather than my age, and those circumstances can be changed. I hope I am lucky enough to get to be old.

We get these lovely fresh faces with glowing skin and they literally start falling apart in no time at all.

I don't think that's literally true. :o I'm 46 and no bits of my face have fallen off yet!

I think we need some role models.

vivienne

judi

iris

I'd love to age like any of these women, and no surgery etc. needed either.

Cheers justaboy what a tonic it is to read your post. Your positivity shines out!

Dull, not full, although I did eat lots for dinner.

Yes, OP, I get you. There is a sense in all of us, deep down, of the inherent unfairness and wrongness? (for lack of more fitting and accurate words) in the realities of aging, injustice, evil in the world, and death.

I'm almost 50 but grateful for everything I have - a nice house, a lovely partner, two lovely most of the time children, a career I like. I am grateful every day for the time I have - my own dad died at 45 and never saw me grow up, but for every day that I can run in the park, ride my bike to work. Yes, it's a shock to me that I am nearly 50, but mostly I don't care very much except when I think about not being around for my girls. The only bad thing about growing older is watching close friends struggling with life-threatening health issues. OP your version is a a bit too focussed on yourself!

Another vote here for Justaboy. 35....fgs .....

I'm 50 and my fourties were absolutely my best decade! And the alternative to not ageing is death. I think it's a fabulous time for older women, I think of the life my mum had at my age and it's so different. We have lots of positive, glamorous role models, Botox and anti ageing products, healthcare and nutrition. Also the benefits of life experience and not giving a damn!

However... Having witnessed my elderly mum having a severe stroke and my dad's dementia, getting really old terrifies me. Enjoy your youth and vitality, take care of yourself, every age has it's own challenges but also joys.

( not dismissing your concerns btw but it does seem to get easier ironically as you get older )

AnyFucker, do you know what TMI means?? THAT.

Zombie thinks she trumps (OK, she knows she trumps but just keep reading) the other posters as far as age goes.

BUT... It's true. It really is fucking true that age is just a number.

Zombie has aches. She has pains. She is also happier and more content than she ever has been before.

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is promised to no Zombie. Live in the now. Be kind. Do unto others...

X-post. justaboy appears to trump Zombie. But not by much!