Where do parents get off being rude to school staff?

[JackandDiane]

How do they think it's acceptable to ring up a receptionist to rant and swear and demand action. To threaten staff that they'll come down and find them if staff don't ring back by a certain time?
I simply can't imagine speaking to anyone like this. Particularly a stranger that you want to help them.
Do you shout at school staff? What do you think it will achieve ?

I think emails in capitals must be the electronic equivalent of green ink letters. In capitals.:o

I never open an email without a title after work. Never never at the weekend.

I always check the sender, and will not open some emails until the next working day. To be fair, I start checking at 6.00.a.m. so it's good deal.

*Why is it wrong to send an email after 8pm? I have done, and I did yesterday, because I can't always send them during the working day.

Why is that a problem?*

It isn't, unless one is the kind of person who thinks a reply is due that evening.

My old man always used to say to me 'speak softly but carry a big stick'. It was good advice.

I always start off being diplomatic and tactful and only escalate if and when necessary and only to the correct person.

Ripping a receptionist or junior to shreds is pointless and is IMO tantamount to bullying.

No. It's just a code. After 9 (sorry fat thumbs) are often a bit .. Odd.

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/11300081/Drunk-parents-bombarding-private-school-heads-with-ranting-emails.html

I would get evening ones in the morning when I log on. I am usually bathing and refereeing my own small people at that time. I am not slt merely a minion so nothing is that important it cannot wait.

Dd's school: All emails via the office.
Ds's school: Emails available for all staff.

Guess where relationships were better, responses politer and prompter. Guess where email correspondence didn't get overlooked.

Many things were nit the business of the office and very difficult to raise concerns about the conduct and competence of the office when impossible to contact a senior member of staff directly.

Our school is all emails via the office after 2 different parents harassed their child's teachers on a daily basis. And I mean harassed. Emails every single day about inconsequential things, or things their DC had said happened (that usually hadn't), or asking what was being taught the next day, or reasons why they wouldn't/couldn't pay for X Y and Z, or rants about lunches, friendships, play times, sports teams etc.

School changed every teachers address and teachers either respond direct through ParentMail (that doesn't show email addresses) or via the office. Office Admin sends a holding reply to each email and passes on the message if required (and now receives the daily ranty emails instead).

I think being polite but persistent (and keeping notes on everything) works better than getting ranty. It can be difficult when a member of staff is being unprofessional or telling lies. I have had to bit my tongue on many occasions and then go and cry in the car. In my experience receptionists and more junior members of staff tend to be polite to you if you are polite to them. It is more senior members of staff that are the most likely to be rude.

Direct email addresses to teachers seems to be more commonplace in secondary schools. Primary schools tend not to do this as parents are more intense when their children are that age (for a multitude of reasons).

I've known of parents who email their child's school EVERY night, without fail, whether it be to report a 'sore throat' or to say that the school cooks are bullying her son because his portion of beans was smaller than his friend's. One particular Mum expected a detailed reply to every message by 9am. It all came to a head one day when the class teacher had to spend 45 minutes discussing with SLT and composing a reply before school. He was then not prepared and ready to teach his class and the rest of the children suffered.

Why is it wrong to send an email after 8pm? I have done, and I did yesterday, because I can't always send them during the working day.
Why is that a problem?

It's not wrong, unless you expect a response immediately. Personally, if you send me an email at 8pm, you may get a response straight away, you may get a response at 8am the next morning, or you may get a response at 5pm the following evening, depending on when I am online and when I sit down to respond to emails. If you are prepared to accept that, then fine. If you think I'm sitting at my computer at 8pm and ready to drop everything to respond to your email, then you will probably be disappointed.

I've sent sandwiches over to ipissedof

I got properly bawled at by a parent the other day. I'm a teacher, to be fair, not a receptionist.

She finished the phone call by yelling "and don't fucking call me again"

She then called the school the following week to complain, ironically
to the receptionist, that "MrsColdLight hasn't called me to give me an update, I want to speak to the Head about that incompetent bitch"

That's clearly inappropriate but my concerns are around the tone and pitch used towards nice parents who are trying to be helpful. Parents whom teachers don't as a rule need to talk to except to say nice things.

"oh hello, Miss x left an urgent message on my phone"
"when was that then?"
"about two hours ago"
"she's not in her office"
"well can you take a message please"
"can't you phone back later"
"yes, but I don't have a copy of her timetable, I assume you do so can you please ask her to call me in her free as I am returning her call"
"humph' sigh, slap of pad heard"
"thank you for your help - so grateful to you" probably said passively aggressively.

Conversation should have gone:

"please may I speak to Miss x she left an urgent message for me"
"who is it calling please"
"Mrs x, x's mother"
"Miss x is teaching until 3.15; I'll make sure she gets an urgent message - will it be OK for her to call then?"

The heads response was that support staff were overworked and taking messages took time. My response was that if conversations were more professional they would take less time and create more goodwill. The head presided over falling standards.

These people are role models for our children, many of whom will work in offices. Such behaviour isn't a good example.

Secondary teacher here and parents have direct access via email, and over the past few years the ranting email has replaced the ranting phone call and it makes it much easier to cope with.

I'm not perfect, but I don't do this job to be mean to kids or to make their lives harder, so being screamed at down the phone that they are going to wait for me after school to break every bone in my body because I confiscated a can of coke that was deliberately opened and being ostentatiously drunk in my lesson by their 14 year-old does upset me. The same parent picked up and threw a desk in a meeting with the head of RS about why his child had to be taught about 'darkies'.

The email accusing me of giving their child a diabetic hypo because I set a homework that needed to be done within 4 days was less upsetting and more baffling, and sent at 2.35 am. I suffer with insomnia so they got a reply within 30 minutes to that, but declined to continue the correspondence.

Most parents I have contact with are absolutely lovely and just want the best for their kids. I always try to think about why aggressive ones are being aggressive, but in the heat of the moment it can be hard not to be upset by it. I had a shit time as a pupil at school so I can appreciate some of where it comes from, but when you are being screamed at it is hard not to take it personally.

I'm not perfect, but I don't do this job to be mean to kids or to make their lives harder, so being screamed at down the phone that they are going to wait for me after school to break every bone in my body because I confiscated a can of coke that was deliberately opened and being ostentatiously drunk in my lesson by their 14 year-old does upset me. The same parent picked up and threw a desk in a meeting with the head of RS about why his child had to be taught about 'darkies'.

I feel for you, Penny