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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Where do parents get off being rude to school staff?

216 replies

JackandDiane · 06/01/2016 17:55

How do they think it's acceptable to ring up a receptionist to rant and swear and demand action. To threaten staff that they'll come down and find them if staff don't ring back by a certain time?
I simply can't imagine speaking to anyone like this. Particularly a stranger that you want to help them.
Do you shout at school staff? What do you think it will achieve ?

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 06/01/2016 19:46

It is unacceptable, yes. But quite often it happens through frustration because people have been fobbed off again and again and again. Because no-one will get back to them, or people say they will sort it or call back, then don't. Because they promise to do something, and then haven't. Or because they've had to spend hours on the phone, on hold or being passed in circles from department to department.

Part of your job as receptionist is being the "face" of your company/school/organisation. If you are the only one people are allowed to talk to, and your company is incompetent, then you have a problem.

ilovesooty · 06/01/2016 19:46

Not for the first time I'm thoroughly thankful I don't teach any more.

TheIceCreamCometh · 06/01/2016 19:46

If I felt my child was genuinely in physical danger at their school, I would involve the police remove them until the issues were dealt with, job notwithstanding. There are always other options if the situation is that severe. HTH.

Waltermittythesequel · 06/01/2016 19:46

Jack you seem rather sneery about the parents of students.

I'm not saying anyone deserves to be shouted at but if you're dismissive or snide with parents you will get their backs up. It's human nature really, isn't it?

ipissedofateacher · 06/01/2016 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ackvavit · 06/01/2016 19:47

ipissedof clearly you are not happy, or you are being deliberately pig headed that we all must know your complaint. Truthfully I'd say you would get much better responses by checking what the protocol is, do you see the head of section first or the form tutor. It's highly unlikely the Head or the receptionist will have the full details. That said it would also be sensible to go in with a catalogue of previous meetings notes you have had with school so you don't just end up ranting. You need a solution positive to your problem. Shouting at the receptionist won't get you that. Good luck. I presume OP has recently got a job in a school?

TheSnowFairy · 06/01/2016 19:47

No-one would mess with our receptionist Grin

(for clarification, this is not aimed at ipissedoff)

JessicaRuby · 06/01/2016 19:48

Er... Must admit I'm a bit confused, the situation OP has described sounds totally different to ipissed so why would she think it's about her Confused

OP I work in admissions... YANBU

MrsDeVere · 06/01/2016 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GruntledOne · 06/01/2016 19:51

MrsBartlett, I fully accept that this happens - I just don't think it's helpful for posters to suggest it is the norm all day every day in most schools.

TheChimpParadox · 06/01/2016 19:52

Ipissedoffateacher - thanks for the PM and info.

Good luck tomorrow - remember calm and measured.

Thanks
paulapantsdown · 06/01/2016 19:53

The sense of utter entitlement from some parents is incredible. They call demanding to speak to a teacher, they are put through to their voicemail or the dept. voicemail. They then call back 30 minutes later with a strop on because they have not been called back, and it has to be explained to them that the teachers are, like, teaching at the moment as it's the middle of a lesson!

With the odd stroppy and rude student we encounter, I have no qualms at all about pulling them up on their behaviour, and often do. Then their parent come in for a meeting and you realise why their kids are so rude and stroppy!

ipissedofateacher · 06/01/2016 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NickiFury · 06/01/2016 19:55

I couldn't agree more Mrsdevere.

Waltermittythesequel · 06/01/2016 19:55

Ipissed is being pretty odd in her insistence that this thread is about her but I think some of the comments aimed at her are quite typical of some people who work in schools.

I agree.

Lazeedayz · 06/01/2016 19:57

MrdDeVere is spot on.

Good Luck tomorrow.

MsJamieFraser · 06/01/2016 19:58

I've shouted at school receptionist before, after she told me she could not interrupt a meeting the teachers were having, I asked her of the meeting was important and she said it was the monthly staff meeting.

Before this, I stated that I has to phone an ambulance for my son, as he left school clearly having an allergic reaction, by the time we got him home and put him on his nubuliser, we realised he needed emergency treatment...

Ds was having great difficulty breathing and had hives and swelling on his face arms and torso and legs....

but apparently she could not interrupt a meeting... Hmm

she got it both barrows.... turned out hay was being delivered when ds was leaving his class room, ds is allergic to grass!

I got a written apology for that one.... and an almighty red faced head.

Its not something I normally do, but sometime needs must.

MrsBartlettforthewin · 06/01/2016 19:58

gruntledone sorry not saying it happens all the time but, unfortunately, it happens more often than you'd think.

ipissedofateacher · 06/01/2016 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

barsteward · 06/01/2016 20:00

The teachers at my DD's school are patronising, dismissive, defensive and often rude even if you go to them about the most mundane of matters. If I spoke to my service users like that I know I'd be disciplined.

Janeymoo50 · 06/01/2016 20:00

They do it because they can and, sadly, get away with it mostly. There are a whole generation of parents out there who are ill mannered and think they "know their rights".

NickiFury · 06/01/2016 20:01

I think in some schools there is very much a Them and Us attitude from teachers towards parents. I'm unfailingly polite and actually prefer to put any issues i have in writing first, that way everyone involved has time to assimilate and react to the issues. I also got very tired of the barely concealed impatience whenever I asked for a word with my children's teachers. This years one is the worst. You can sense "I don't give a f*ck but will pretend as long as I can". It's not their fault, I think teaching is probably in the main soul destroying these days with minimal job satisfaction. I just get tired of how teachers are deified here on MN. They're not ALL Michelle Pfeiffer In Dangerous Minds type teachers, some of them are disinterested and impatient and can't wait to get home, just like any other job.

Narp · 06/01/2016 20:03

ipissedoff

Unless you are sure you know her, it's a big stretch to assume it was you. There are millions of MN users

Lurkedforever1 · 06/01/2016 20:03

Excellent post from MrsDeVere.

Fivegomad · 06/01/2016 20:09

ipissedofateacher
It's been said, but bears repeating.
School receptionists can only pass on the message.
They cannot make the staff member reply to it.
All they can do is offer to take, and pass on the message again.
They are the lowest paid and lowest regarded members of staff, yet they are the ones who stand in the firing line time after time after time.
I assure you, most are doing their job correctly and passing on messages in a timely manner, yet, as I said, they cannot be held responsible if said staff member does not/ cannot reply in a timeframe that suits you.
Snapping at someone who may we'll have been desperately trying to help you is just mean.
( by the way, I have a "naice" suit I wear to work too.....as a school receptionist)