This is an OTT reaction from crazed DP isn't it??

[LemmysMole]

I feel like I'm going crazy.

Earlier dp confused me for his ex for the 2nd time in two days (another thread). On top of this he's been really argumentative and snappy with me for the past week or so - example was recently snapping at me when I mentioned our upcoming wedding saying he was sick of hearing about it. He also seems to have gone off sex and even seems reluctant to kiss me giving me a quick kiss then pulling away.

So tonight when he again confused a time with his ex for a time with me I got upset, told him I was pissed off and when he came to hug me I declined (he does this to me ALL the time! I very rarely do it).

Anyway he shut himself away in the dining room. I gave him 20 minutes or so then went in asking if he was going to watch the movie with me. He said "no". I said "don't be like this, I was upset, can we forget it?" And he went into full blown crazed mode - said I wasn't to touch him or go near him, said he was going to call the police if I went near him, started to call the police when I went to hug him. Told me to fuck off and "do one" ... I started to cry (unusual) and told him I didn't want to argue and he carried kicking off at me - physically pushed me away when I went to hug him, refused to talk to me, said he was 'livid' with me and didn't want me near him and when I begged him to stop it (honestly he was acting like a mad man jumping around saying I was abusing him) he imitated me saying I was a drama queen and how hard must it be to live with such a bastard.

Even if I initially over reacted about the reference to his ex (which I fully admit) surely his response is bat shit crazy?? Or is it me?? I really wonder some times

Have you got friends or family you can stay with for a little while, I would not like to be in that position, when he is being physically and verbally aggressive.

I'm quite worried for you being there tonight love.

His excuse for pushing me is that I "assaulted" him first when I hugged him uninvited. His was self defence. Apparently.

No I honestly have nobody.

Lemmy do not marry this man my dear, look to a future without him, he is showing you who he is! Do you want to bring children into this volatile situation. A loving and respectful man would never ever do such a thing to you.

He is showing you who he is. Pay attention. (And run).

I would call Woman's Aid for advice, I am not sure what else to say as its late and hotels and B&B will be closed. Are you fearing for your safety? If he is making you feel scared and unsafe, Police!

DO.NOT.MARRY.THIS.MAN.

Op, I agree with Aero. Sounds like you might be safest somewhere else tonight. In his current state of mind, it sounds like he is losing touch with reality and blaming you for terrible things that might not have even happened.

It is Domestic abuse, I would call Police in your situation.

Being alone would be a million times better than this pathetic excuse for a man. He's got cold feet about the wedding but doesn't have the guts to admit it. He's also a very nasty piece of work. He is showing you who he really is. Pay attention lovie

6 joints ?

very early on he tried to cheat so yeah, I occasionally check up

And you said a resounding Yes to that ring on your finger because....?

Oh OP. How upsetting for you.
It sounds likes he's struggling with something and abusing alcohol/drugs to deal with it. But his behaviour is unacceptable.
My advice would be to put a halt to all wedding plans at least for now. He has made it clear he does not want to get married.

He usually has a mild cannabis habit...He normally only smokes two a night

I would class a 'mild' cannabis habit as having a joint on a Friday night, not two every single evening! In what world is that mild?

OP phone the police. I am worried for you, please get away from this guy. Tell them he is intimidating you and you feel scared. They can remove him or get you somewhere else. Please OP.

That op, is certainly how he feels about you, in those circumstances you cannot have a relationship with him, let alone marry him!

Is there a travelodge near you you could go to?

He's gaslighting you. Please post in relationships.

I know it's bad form to look up previous threads but I see he has a20 year old which means he's most likely at least my age. If he was 20 himself I could almost be sorry. You need out and fast even if just for tonight.

Agree with previous pps - he doesn't want to get married and is doing everything apart from actually saying it. Even drinking and smoking more than usual indicates he's stressed and unhappy. And as for the not apologising and turning things around on you, that's emotional abuse or gas lighting or whatever.

10 years down the line, imagine him behaving like this to you in front of small children. Or behaving like this TO your children.

Walk away. I know it's huge but so much better now than after the wedding.

It sounds very much like cannabis-induced paranoia. Leave him strictly alone unless and until he comes out of it. If he shows any sort of shame, get an absolute promise out of him that he will never touch cannabis again. If he's not prepared to do that, get out.

Please please please call women's aid or similar - if they can't help you tonight, then call the police. You can't stay there with him in that fug lovey. It's not safe.

Agree with PP, don't think this is a safe environment at all; there will be time to figure out why you thought marrying this git in the first place was a good idea later, right now please make sure you can safely remove yourself from the situation tonight.

Even if it is cannabis induced paranoia, that behaviour would be a bloody dealbreaker it really would. You have seen what he is capable of doing, and could go back to that at anytime, do not bring children into this!

I'm very sorry but I agree with everyone- marrying would be a huge mistake.

There is nothing mild or usual about any of this man's behaviour.

The drugs are just exaggerating the abusive tendencies he already has. Marrying him will not make him behave any better- it'll just make it harder for you to escape when (not if) he cheats again, abuses you again, and becomes violent again.