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Original poster

This is an OTT reaction from crazed DP isn't it??

206 replies

LemmysMole · 02/01/2016 22:56

I feel like I'm going crazy.

Earlier dp confused me for his ex for the 2nd time in two days (another thread). On top of this he's been really argumentative and snappy with me for the past week or so - example was recently snapping at me when I mentioned our upcoming wedding saying he was sick of hearing about it. He also seems to have gone off sex and even seems reluctant to kiss me giving me a quick kiss then pulling away.

So tonight when he again confused a time with his ex for a time with me I got upset, told him I was pissed off and when he came to hug me I declined (he does this to me ALL the time! I very rarely do it).

Anyway he shut himself away in the dining room. I gave him 20 minutes or so then went in asking if he was going to watch the movie with me. He said "no". I said "don't be like this, I was upset, can we forget it?" And he went into full blown crazed mode - said I wasn't to touch him or go near him, said he was going to call the police if I went near him, started to call the police when I went to hug him. Told me to fuck off and "do one" ... I started to cry (unusual) and told him I didn't want to argue and he carried kicking off at me - physically pushed me away when I went to hug him, refused to talk to me, said he was 'livid' with me and didn't want me near him and when I begged him to stop it (honestly he was acting like a mad man jumping around saying I was abusing him) he imitated me saying I was a drama queen and how hard must it be to live with such a bastard.

Even if I initially over reacted about the reference to his ex (which I fully admit) surely his response is bat shit crazy?? Or is it me?? I really wonder some times

OP posts:
ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 02/01/2016 23:17

Does he take anything else, cocaine?

Dipankrispaneven · 02/01/2016 23:17

I must admit I did wonder whether there were mental health issues going on here, and it may be that in some way the cannabis caused that. But it's pure speculation. Is there anyone else you can talk to, e.g. friends, relatives or work colleagues who might have noticed if there's something different about him?

Potatoface2 · 02/01/2016 23:19

cannabis can make some people have paranoia....how often does he smoke it

ImperialBlether · 02/01/2016 23:19

Tbh I would be very concerned about his memory loss. Not to the extent of staying with him - he sounds fucking horrible - but as I left him I would recommend he saw a doctor.

Bluebird79 · 02/01/2016 23:19

He is trying to get you to split up with him so he doesn't have to do it! Sorry - but to an outsider hearing your initial post, that is how it sounds x

Arfarfanarf · 02/01/2016 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 02/01/2016 23:20

Sounds like it's not really working.

Better to end it now, before the wedding.

SpecialistSnowflake · 02/01/2016 23:20

I wouldn't even worry about what might be going on with him to cause this behaviour. It's so thoroughly rejecting and hysterical, and I think you need to accept that it's time to make an exit plan from this relationship for your own safety and wellbeing. You can't fix him.

And be careful. There's something frightening about the scenario you described - him screaming 'abuse' at you when you tried to hug him, and then later thinking he was about to hit you. It sounds like a man who is itching for an excuse to attack you in 'self defence'.

shazzarooney99 · 02/01/2016 23:22

I think hes trying to tell you hes sleeping with someone else.

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/01/2016 23:22

Oh, my god. Your life will fall apart - if you stay with him.

Guaranteed.

Be brave. You can't live like this. He's been hugely insulting and violent. And tried to cheat in the early part of your relationship? It's very likely he will try again, if he hasn't already.

outputgap · 02/01/2016 23:22

You cry and he ignores you? Uh uh. I would be livid. How dare anyone treat you with such little respect, let alone a complete lack of love?

RJnomore1 · 02/01/2016 23:23

It's not the place for a chemistry lesson but we do a lot about drugs at my work and now most cannabis is bred so the chill factor is lower abs the chemical that sends you loopy is much much higher.

I'm an introvert too love, that's why I like online, I can interact at my pace and my level without feeling pressure. But there's still someone I can call in an emergency. I'm sure there's someone for you too. Don't be embarrassed.

This is not your fault.

No ones picked up on he pushed you yet but that's a line crossed.

Costacoffeeplease · 02/01/2016 23:24

So he's an abusive, cannabis-smoking twunt - just what is it you love about him?

Get out now, while you still can, and get as far away from him as possible, what positive future can you possibly see with him?

ImperialBlether · 02/01/2016 23:26

Is it possible he's seeing his ex or seeing a woman with the same name?

CFSsucks · 02/01/2016 23:26

My dad's ex used to smoke cannabis, a lot! She was the most irrational and paranoid person I ever met. She would also blow up at my dad a lot and it was like treading on eggshells. My cousin used to do it a lot too and his personality changed. He got a lot better when he stopped.

I think he could be cheating, your instincts ate certainly telling you something, I also think he is acting like this so you will call of the wedding because he doesn't have the guts to.

Please don't marry this man.

ohtheholidays · 02/01/2016 23:28

Lemmy I'd say it's time to end this relationship,marrying this man could become one of the most dangerous things you could do with your life.

He has got physcial with you therefore he has crossed a line!

That ontop of the fact that he has really lost it tonight,the fact that he makes you feel like you can't trust him and the cheating early on in the relationship any one of those should be enough for you to walk away and then you add on that he smokes cannabis this man is as far away from being a catch as is possible.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 02/01/2016 23:29

Is it possible that he normally has a mild weekend smoking habit, but with it being Christmas he has smoked his head off and is now having some sort of psychotic attack?

Either way. Don't marry him.

BarbarianMum · 02/01/2016 23:29

Clearly he doesn't want to make you happy. The question is, why do you want to marry him? Yes, you love him but actually he is making you confused and unhappy (he sounds like he gets off on toying with you mentally tbh).

Contrary to what is commonly believed love is not all you need to make a relationship work. It's a good start but reliability, mutual respect and good old compatibility are just as important.

If the thought of calling it off now is upsetting and scary (and how could it not be) please believe that it will be 1,000 times harder to split once you are actually married. This should be an exciting, happy, couply time.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/01/2016 23:29

Op it is not usual for men who love you to get you confused with their ex, and to have that kind of reaction to wedding planning. From the further information you have given, it does seem something utoward is going on. Definitely do not marry this guy or have kids with him, seriously think about the future with him.

MonstrousPippin · 02/01/2016 23:30

Oh Op. I really feel for you. The drugs can make one aggressive... My DH has been there in the past. However, it sounds like his true feelings may be showing through. I think you really need to consider your future. Please think hard before posting the invitations. From someone who has been through both a marriage that was wrong from the start and an abusive rebound relationship from hell, please be 100% sure before you get married.

PruneCat · 02/01/2016 23:31

I know that the idea of cancelling a wedding and starting over in the search for a good partner is excruciating but you WILL thank yourself once you have some distance from him and see that he is abusive. I cancelled a wedding just five weeks before it was supposed to happen. It was awful at the time, but my goodness I'm glad I did it! I'm now married to a kind, respectful, good-tempered man. There is someone else better out there for you, if that's what you want. Best of luck and big hugs to you.

MudCity · 02/01/2016 23:32

Please do not make excuses for his behaviour.

Please realise you deserve better.

Do not stay because you fear a future without him.

One day you will look back on this and see it for what it is.

Please do not waste your life on this man. You are worth so much more.

TheBouquets · 02/01/2016 23:34

I think you need to get out of there fast. If you don't have family and friends living nearby to help you or take you in go to the Police who will get Womens' Aid for you and do a welfare visit to DP if you request that. Better he takes on a whole Police Force than he makes a mess of you. Likely he would not say boo to the police. It sounds like a very scary way for him to be around you. I would not like that kind of behaviour around me. I would be off like a bat out of hell.

Zucker · 02/01/2016 23:35

He's jumping around shouting abuse at you like a fucking lunatic and you're saying you think something's not quite right!

For the love of god wake up from the fog you're in.

Original poster
LemmysMole · 02/01/2016 23:35

Well being the soft shit that I am I just went to him, asked him if we could talk tomorrow but make up tonight and he said he was far too angry to even look at me - said he feels like going for advice about the abusive he suffers from me and said he feels like chucking the whole thing because he's sick of me.
He usually has a mild cannabis habit - tonight for some reason he's drank a fair bit and began smoking one after another. He normally only smokes two a night, tonight he's had at least 6 smokes.

OP posts:
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