Friend has cancelled me for a holiday that's already booked and paid for.

[Snowyxmastree]

I don't know how to handle this situation.

9 friends 4 couples and 1 single have booked to go on a holiday. I have paid for the flights outright and the hotels get paid for on check in. Everyone has paid for the flights bar the single friend.

I have had to rearrange the booking once already as we have booked non refundable rooms and 4 in the party got invited to a family members wedding.

I have just received a message from single friend to say that she is embarrassed to say that she can no longer go due to the cost. She's owes me for the flight and I have been chasing her for a couple of weeks now. Plus the hotel needs to be paid for nearer the time.

Everybody knows this all non refundable but she hasn't mentioned reimbursing me.

How do I go about doing this?

I will not be doing this again despite this being a annual thing for 5 years now with no issues.

I am so pissed off with friend as the hotel was booked mainly as she was unhappy with a lot of hotels as they didn't do single rooms.

Please help me ask her for this money I am owed. It's £550.

[hefzi]

Just be aware that small claims is no guarantee you'll actually get your money - the judgement should go in your favour, of course, but that doesn't actually get you refunded: be aware you may need to appoint bailiffs (which of course is another cost to you) to actually see the cash. Since the start of the year, this has a flat fee in England of £100, and is also added to your claim - assuming, of course, they get the money out of her.

Send her a letter before action, by registered post, NOW, saying she has 7 days to pay. When she doesn't, go here to file your claim- depending on how close you live to each other, you may need to travel - she's entitled, I think, to ask for the hearing to be somewhere convenient for her, not for you (but iirc you can add those costs to the claim)

I think costs to you are now £140 (for the claim and then the hearing) but those costs will also be added to your claim (and her debt).

I was (sort of) sympathetic (in that I suggested that there might be more to it than you knew, which led to some posters to assert that that made me the flake ) to the friend in the beginning, because to do this out of the blue after 5 years suggests quite major problems (on top of the car stuff) but telling you her parents were helping and then stuffing you again is totally out of order, no matter how deep her problems are.

She won't care about her credit rating, btw - it must already have gone to shit for her not to get a loan to sort the insurance/MOT/impounding etc - so you may well have to go to court. But stress that you weren't lending her this money per se - rather, you simply paid for everyone up front to make the booking: I have (often ) lent people money, and mostly not been repaid it, but there's a total difference being asked specifically for a loan when someone is in trouble, and making the decision whether you will help them, in the knowledge that you might not be paid back, and taking someone for a total ride, just because they were booking something. Not on at all!

Hope you get your money back sooner rather than later

[Nomoregrief]

If she has multiple debts then she is probably trying to work out which debts will cause her the least aggravation to default on payment.
To get yourself to the top of the payment list you need to be a bigger PITA than the other people she owes money to.
If you are prepared to do that, you might get your money back.
If you do not want the stress and the hassle, you can just walk away.
Choose the route that suits you.

[MrsJorahMormont]

Sorry to hear this OP Tbh if I was bailing out my adult daughter, I wouldn't be impressed to hear that she was planning a holiday. Is it possible her parents have refused to help her? Not your problem of course but possibly an explanation?

[Lemonski]

How sad its come to this but yep. Shes taken the piss. If you let it slide I can see her turning up for the holiday without ever paying for it!!!

Good luck x

[Mandalorian]

Send a copy of your letter before action to the parents address too. I'd probably wrote letter before action on the envelope.
You want to be sure she gets it and you can't be certain where she's living now

[goddessofsmallthings]

Notwithstanding the fact that your dh is a 'pushover', you've done the right thing by sending a recorded delivery letter requesting repayment by a given date and you'll be doing the right thing by pursuing the matter in the small claims court if payment isn't forthcoming.

[ZenNudist]

This sucks. Have you not just emailed her "YOU CANNOT SERIOUSLY BE TRYING TO STIFF ME FOR OVER £500?!?! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS?!?!?"

Give it to her straight. It's the money or your friendship... and you will still take steps to recover the money as she's made it clear you aren't friends.

Cheeky mare, probably thinks you're a pushover.

[OnlyLovers]

I'm sorry, OP. She's a flake and no kind of a friend at all. Small claims court it is; at the very least it'll give her a kick up the arse.

Bollocks to your husband being 'dead against it' too. Take £500 out of his bank account and see how against it he is then.

[Snowyxmastree123]

I am going to make one last attempt by text before I go down the letter before action!

Have no idea where her parents live, know a rough area. I may look on 192 or phone book and see if I can find out. It's not something I want to do however as I took my time to tell the group not about her not going on the holiday but not paying me, she borrowed money off 2 others and also has not paid them back.

She is no longer in our friendship group as out of the 4 couples going on the trip 3 have been ripped off basically.

One who she has borrowed from was kind enough to drive her to work every day since her car is out of action.

So she has royally done a number on us.

Life lesson learnt, never ever again! I should of created a new bank account a online one taken everyone's money and then transferred the money to a different account and paid the hotel bill on behalf of everyone.

[SlightlyJaded]

I would actually send the text Zen nudist suggests if you are going to give her one last chance. I would also add that you will have to take action against her if she doesn't pay. So something like:

"Are you seriously telling me that you are going to stiff me for £500???!! I thought we were friends???!!! I'm really sorry, but I can't afford to lose that much so if don't start paying me back within the week, I am going to have to find other ways to pursue it. I really don't want to go this route, but I am not in a position to waive such a huge amount away. I'm sorry you hare having money troubles and I'm happy to talk about a reasonable replayment plan - ie. £100 per week for 5 weeks - but I can't write it off".

[OnlyLovers]

I agree with Jaded, except leave out the ' I'm really sorry, but...'. The OP has NOTHING to be sorry about. I appreciate it could be read as just a turn of phrase, but she doesn't deserve a 'sorry' even in that context.

[Snowyxmastree123]

Jaded, that is perfect! Was along the lines of what I was planning on saying but I will copy and paste that but I will take out the sorry part as I've learnt from mn not to use that term. Will change it to I can't afford to loose that!

[MuchasSmoochas]

That's rotten OP. If you do take court action, remember you have a duty to mitigate your loss. So email the group and ask if they know anyone who would take the place. I know it's unlikely but at least you will have evidence that you took steps.

[Snowyxmastree123]

Cross post with only! Great minds ah!

We have tried to find someone, we have even suggest a lower price so FF recoops some of her money but no one single wants to come. We did have a couple that wanted to but we contacted the hotel to change the room from a single to a double and they are full and don't even have a single room avalible so that lead was a no go.

[fuzzpig]

Can't believe she is still wriggling out of it

[SlightlyJaded]

Yes, I'm afraid I'm one of those people who says 'Sorry' when someone else bumps into me

I think you CAN say 'sorry you are having money troubles' though. Maybe.

Good luck OP

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

We have tried to find someone, we have even suggest a lower price so FF recoops some of her money but no one single wants to come. We did have a couple that wanted to but we contacted the hotel to change the room from a single to a double and they are full and don't even have a single room avalible so that lead was a no go. could they not have put an extra bed in for them at least.

[expatinscotland]

I'd leave out the 'sorry', too. £500 is a huge amount of money.

[snowymountaintops]

The other friends all know then presumably? Are they out of pocket for similar amounts?

So sorry that she didn't come good OP.

[OnlyLovers]

I think you CAN say 'sorry you are having money troubles' though. Maybe.

Yes, I think that's OK, personally. Only if you are sorry about it, mind.

[MTPurse]

This is awful, who actually does this to their friends

[scarednoob]

The hotel may have restrictions on the number of guests for fire regs etc, so may not just be being difficult.

Sorry OP, this is a sucky situation when you were just doing a great thing for everyone by organising a trip. Hopefully it hasn't soured it for you.

[Throwingshade]

Don't say sorry about money troubles or sorry you will have to pursue it.

No apologies.

Fucking cheeky bastard she is.

[expatinscotland]

She knew she had money troubles when she committed to go on that holiday.

[Snowyxmastree123]

I don't think she did have money troubles when we booked, no tax and mot but I don't think she was hard up as she bought a couple of largish for her items.

When we go the trip would of been booked for a year.

I will text her later with what's suggested up thread. I will acknowledge her money issues maybe just "I know you are having some money issues at the moment"