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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has cancelled me for a holiday that's already booked and paid for.

523 replies

Snowyxmastree · 01/01/2016 13:48

I don't know how to handle this situation.

9 friends 4 couples and 1 single have booked to go on a holiday. I have paid for the flights outright and the hotels get paid for on check in. Everyone has paid for the flights bar the single friend.

I have had to rearrange the booking once already as we have booked non refundable rooms and 4 in the party got invited to a family members wedding.

I have just received a message from single friend to say that she is embarrassed to say that she can no longer go due to the cost. She's owes me for the flight and I have been chasing her for a couple of weeks now. Plus the hotel needs to be paid for nearer the time.

Everybody knows this all non refundable but she hasn't mentioned reimbursing me.

How do I go about doing this?

I will not be doing this again despite this being a annual thing for 5 years now with no issues.

I am so pissed off with friend as the hotel was booked mainly as she was unhappy with a lot of hotels as they didn't do single rooms.

Please help me ask her for this money I am owed. It's £550.

OP posts:
ThatsNotMyRabbit · 02/01/2016 12:09

What a total pita. I'd be livid.

Jibberjabberjooo · 02/01/2016 12:09

I would text back that you're really sorry but is not your responsibility to find someone else and does she really expect you to pay her share?

clam · 02/01/2016 12:09

Or you could ask her if her travel insurance might cover her need to cancel. You must keep attributing her ownership of this problem.

Jibberjabberjooo · 02/01/2016 12:11

Definitely ask her who she thinks is going to cover her share.

littleleftie · 02/01/2016 12:11

I would send the text anchor suggested.

I might add a line about "We don't want to get to the stage where solicitors are involved do we?"

SnowyBumbles · 02/01/2016 12:12

'If your having difficulties we should discuss it and come to an agreement that suits us both and if that means you finding someone else to take your place and paying for the booking amendments than that's okay but I can't afford to be £550 down and regardless of if you come or not I need that money paying back to me. You were the one along with the rest of the group who asked me to go ahead and book on your behalf, you knew the terms of the booking before I booked it, you knew I would need paying back so I could pay the credit card bill for it and I cannot afford for you not to pay me back'

Jibberjabberjooo · 02/01/2016 12:12

I agree with Clam, you need to keep emphasising her responsibility in this. This is her problem to sort.

JellyTotCat · 02/01/2016 12:13

Love the way she tries to hand back responsibility for her problem for you to sort out. She can't afford it. Does she think you can afford her share if you can't find someone? Hmm

ilovesooty · 02/01/2016 12:15

I'm sorry it's turning out like this. Even though someone early on was critical of those of us who mentioned possible legal action I think I'd be inclined to stop communicating informally once you have reiterated that the payment is her responsibility.

clam · 02/01/2016 12:16

The trouble, of course, with her attempting to find a replacement is that it's for someone to go away with a group of couples who they may not know at all, whereas it would be preferable for you to be able to have a say in who comes. Not easy.

Try calling from an unrecognisable number. I expect she's ducking your calls.

Branleuse · 02/01/2016 12:23

Tell her that she agreed to pay, that its there in black and white in the group chats and this is as good as a contract in the eyes of the law. By pulling out of a non refundable deal that she agreed to, then she is fucking you over to the tune of £550. Tell her to just sort out the money SOMEHOW and we can forget this little misunderstanding ever happened and all enjoy the holiday

Branleuse · 02/01/2016 12:24

Only other solution is for the rest of you to absorb the cost, and never speak to the stupid bitch again

bloodyteenagers · 02/01/2016 12:24

Text her back
This is NOT my responsibility to sort out. YOU confirmed you wanted to come. You was happy for me to book o the understanding that you would reimburse me. You still owe me the total cost of xx. I expect a reply within the next 24 hours.

If no response or she tries to bat it back tell her she has 5 working days to pay the xx owed or you will be
Forced to take legal action and which you will asking the court to bill her for those costs as well.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/01/2016 12:30

It look so like she lived tge idea, but she did not realise she could not afford it. Not your problem, why not call her and have it out. If not you could pursue her from the small claims court, tge friendship is done now.

Arfarfanarf · 02/01/2016 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/01/2016 12:35

And tell her to find a friend who might go, this is not yiur problem.

sofato5miles · 02/01/2016 12:36

There is no way you should go through small claims, is that really how people live their lives?? Is there anyone else you can think of asking along?

OnlyLovers · 02/01/2016 12:36

Is your last post what you've texted her, OP, or what you'd like to text her?

She's taking the piss. It's telling that she said to someone else that she wasn't sure if she was going.

She's got to pay you back, anyway. Does she know that you can't go if she doesn't pay?

Lesson to learn here is, don't pay for stuff up front. You never know if someone's going to try to pull a fast one, shitty as that is. Good luck.

MooseTrap · 02/01/2016 12:41

I'd text back. You knew the booking was none refundable so you will have to pay for the flight and the room regardless of whether you come or not. I can't afford to pay it for you. The room isn't due to be paid immediately so you will have time to save for it. As you know I have already paid for your flight so I need to be repaid that money immediately.

We will try and get someone else to come but I think it will be difficult so I think you need to plan to repay the full amount. I simply can't afford to loose that kind of money.

I'm having trouble contacting you and would be grateful if you could phone me so that we can sort this out.

DinosaursRoar · 02/01/2016 12:41

Time to talk to the others in the party - tell them what's going on. Someone might know someone who'd like to come, which in a way would fix the problem.

Even if they don't, I'd be tempted to start making this a group problem - if she pays up, great, but if not, there's a £550 short fall in the total holiday cost for the other 8 of you. You might find the others are happier to split the cost (even if they are fuming at her) rather than expect you to shoulder it all.

manicinsomniac · 02/01/2016 12:41

Wait, so she actually owes £2000, not £550?

Bloody hell, with a holiday that expensive you'd think you'd make very very sure you knew what you were doing with your finances before committing wouldn't you?! What a nightmare for you, OP, I'm so sorry.

What will happen with the hotel fees if she just isn't there to take the room. Will your credit card get charged the whole £1500? Or just a deposit loss?

DinosaursRoar · 02/01/2016 12:43

Oh and just to say, if I was one of the others in the group, I'd both be angry at her and trying to help you fix it. £70ish would be a lot to me, but I'd try to find it rather than expect you to fund the whole shortfall. Decent friends wouldn't view this as just your problem if she refuses to pay her share.

MooseTrap · 02/01/2016 12:45

I definitely think you should tell the whole group.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/01/2016 12:47

I'm also interested in the hotel side of it - if she's not there, who pays the bill? Can you/she not cancel her room now?

She's not going to pay you. It seems very clear that she won't, for whatever reason.

Maybe you should commission someone to go over and break her legs, then she'd have a medical reason to cancel everything and she'd be able to claim a refund on her insurance...

Jibberjabberjooo · 02/01/2016 12:48

She cannot just say 'oh well you need to find someone else' and wash her hands of it.