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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my fil to stay over on new years eve

384 replies

chocoholic05 · 30/12/2015 20:12

My mil died earlier on in the year. My dh wants to invite my fil to stay tomorrow night and into new years day. In fact despite endless discussions with dh from a conversation with fil today it seems he has. I don't want him to. I would rather came for dinner on new years day and stay for tea as well. My reasons are we only have a small house so where would he sleep other than our living room? He never ever lies in no matter what time he goes to bed. He will bring his dog who is also an early riser. And he will expect us to get up. Alsothe dog smells really badly. I know that sounds horrible but it's absolutely true. Finally I like new year spent with my boys. Family games and dvds.He is only a ten minute drive away. But my dh said it's his first new year on his own.

OP posts:

Headmelt · 30/12/2015 22:45

Yabu, mean and self-centred.

confusedbumbo · 30/12/2015 22:45

Christ, this is awful. YAB so U it's unreal.

If I was your DH I'd tell you to do one, frankly.

ExitPursuedByABear · 30/12/2015 22:46

My sleep can be affected by so many things.

Jane must be very spesh.

ShatnersBassoon · 30/12/2015 22:47

Jane is Noel Edmonds. Cosmic ordering and House Parties are her bag.

I'm not sure how control over everything has anything to do with a grieving man's wellbeing.

janethegirl2 · 30/12/2015 22:50

Sorry if have offended anyone,but I think the whole scenario is unreasonable.

If my Dh died tomorrow,why should my dc accommodate me and a smelly dog for new year, particularly if I were to get up early and wake them.

I think it is completely unreasonable! End of!

honeyroar · 30/12/2015 22:51

Yep, pop him in a taxi, let him be alone and possibly upset. Have your precious lie in with your boys. If I were your husband I'd go and stay at his too, leave you to it.

Headmelt · 30/12/2015 22:51

I thought Jane/Janet was previously banned because of her aggressive defence of an op on another thread she was very batty on that thread too

confusedbumbo · 30/12/2015 22:52

I'd take the smelly dog and get rid of the OP, frankly.

molyholy · 30/12/2015 22:52

Come on OP. You must have known everyone apart from jane, was going to tell you you are being fucking cruel. Have you told your dh how you feel because I would be incredulous if my partner told me that my recently deceased parent couldn't spend 1 poxy evening on our couch cos he wants a fucking lie in!!!!! In fact, I think this is a reverse because nobody can be this heartless.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 30/12/2015 22:53

My reasons are we only have a small house so where would he sleep other than our living room

From around age 16 until our son went to university we never knew how many bodies might be crashed in our living room on a Sunday morning as we live in the city centre and many of his friends didn't .

It really is not a problem having someone sleep occasionally in the living room. We had 3 of my son's friends a couple of weeks' ago.

AwfulBeryl · 30/12/2015 22:53

I feel sorry for janets family too.

Bloody hell want an eye opener this thread has been. I am shocked that people are this nasty, and admit to it most of the horrible people I have met are more underhand about it.

chillycurtains · 30/12/2015 22:54

Wow....Wow. Super selfish lady. I am truly shocked. Lost of one lie in versus offering a small comfort for ONE night/morning to the man who gave you your DH. Geez your DH must be pretty disappointed in you today.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/12/2015 22:54

why should my dc accommodate me and a smelly dog for new year you realise it's not the whole of the new year right jane? Just one night?

YABU op.

AwfulBeryl · 30/12/2015 22:54

That's if they exist, it's all a bit too nasty to be true isn't it.

ShatnersBassoon · 30/12/2015 22:55

If my Dh died tomorrow,why should my dc accommodate me and a smelly dog for new year, particularly if I were to get up early and wake them.

Because they love you and want to make a difficult time slightly easier for you, and they don't mind inconveniencing themselves to help you avoid loneliness.

janethegirl2 · 30/12/2015 22:55

Sorry, not ever been banned, but it might be a blessing after some of the comments onthis thread.
I have never intended to offend, but some of the comments have offended me

AwfulBeryl · 30/12/2015 22:55

Playing the victim is a bit bloody predictable Jane.

NewLife4Me · 30/12/2015 22:59

Bloody hell, there's two of them who wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

What a shame there are people like this, what made them so cold and uncaring.
He can come to ours for New Year, smelly dog as well.

ghostspirit · 30/12/2015 22:59

if it was my dad/inlaw he would sleep in one of my kids bed and one of them would sleep on sofa. or of thats not possible he would sleep in my bed and me and partner would sleep on sofas or put you up bed in living room. that thats my thing i dont think an older person should sleep on sofa/ put you up bed unless no choice.

i do agree with everyone else. the point of coming and staying over night is to see the new year in. are you parents still alive. what if it was one of them that had passed. would you think the same about the living parent and not want him/her in your home... i think its really sad i would never ever have done that to my dad.

MuddlingMackem · 30/12/2015 22:59

Haven't read all of the replies, but wanted to chuck in my twopenn'orth, although someone else may have already suggested this.

In my opinion, YANBU because of the dog, the lack of space and you say your kids won't cope with a late night without a lie in. I'm assuming you'll be the one having to deal with the fallout of cranky kids, not your DH, and knowing that you'll spend the next day dealing with cranky kids totally sucks the fun out of anything.

If it's so hard for him to face New Year alone, why can't you all go round to his to see in the New Year and then come home to sleep, if he's only ten minutes away? If your DH doesn't want to leave him alone can't he stay at his dad's and you take the kids home? Seems a fairer compromise than having the dog to stay over.

FlatOnTheHill · 30/12/2015 23:00

Whats a sock puppet? Im new. And angry about this thread and the treatment of an old grieving fil.

Supermanspants · 30/12/2015 23:00

If my Dh died tomorrow,why should my dc accommodate me and a smelly dog for new year, particularly if I were to get up early and wake them

If they are anything like their kind, empathic, compassionate mother I don't think you will ever have to concern yourself with that particular scenario.

Eminado · 30/12/2015 23:01

"you say your kids won't cope with a late night without a lie in."

Do these children go to school? Parties? Sleepovers?

Supermanspants · 30/12/2015 23:02

Oh....and that 'smelly dog'..... it is probably the closest thing that poor man has got in his day to day life. He was married to his wife for 48 years FFS.

Pannacott · 30/12/2015 23:04

I'm surprised that most people would have him, and surprised that it would be mean to decline! But then I fully expect to not be spending New Years Eve with my kids and grandkids in the future.

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