fucking play station

[FlatOnTheHill]

DS glued to the poxy thing. He is 15 a good boy. Does go out and see mates so sociable. Does not bring me amy trouble. Studies hard at school. Somim very lucky. But when he is on that thing, I call it 'the machine'. He plays GTA with mates and all you can hear is him shouting out ya mother fucker" or fucking get ouuut my way or oi you ya silly prick etc etc.

I have spoken to my friends about this and work colleagues and they say their sons are the same
Would point out does not act like this when not on play station.
AIBU in wanting to launch the fucking thing out the window or accidentally on purpose cut the wires. He has been on GTA for about a year. Drives me nuts. And when I go flying in his bedroom to tell him off he goes mad shouting at me. As I said only behaves like this when on that poxy 'machine'

I'm willing to be flexible when it comes to games/films and age ratings. I will check things out myself first and see if it's appropriate, I'm a gamer myself and having played through it a number of times myself I wouldn't let a 15 year old play gta, I don't recall rape being a part of any of the storylines in the main game though, but there are lots of very adult themes which I don't believe are appropriate for children.

If you feel it's negatively affecting his behaviour then take it away from him.

I have 2 of those self-policing teenagers too. It doesn't extend as far as fridge raiding, dirty clothes, school refusal and general 'know-it-all-ness' unfortunately.
Of course, any parent of a nearly 16 yr old has the perfect get-out clause for limiting game play in the new year - it's exam/sorting out the future year.

No, they wouldn't dare shout at me but they do use language that is a bit 'unsavoury'.

I definitely think that any parent has the right to decide what words are acceptable in their homes,I just choose to pick my battles.

I remember being a crazy teenager and to be honest my boys are like angels compared to the shennanigans I got up to. Who knows what's round the corner for any of us with our children. We can only guide them in the way we see fit. Probably depends on our own life experiences too.

That is true, I would never have dared have swore within ear shot of my parents whether with friends or not I just find it very disrespectful and feel there is no need for it. I'm not saying I don't swear because I do but very rarely.

That is the point I'm making though the op is getting shouted at by her son when asking for a behaviour she doesn't like in her house to stop that to me means he is not mature enough for that particular game. You are right in that none of us know what's in store though and I will be baring the pick your battles advice in mind as obviously there are some things I will let slide but swearing and shouting like that in the house so I could hear, then shouting at me if I ask for it to stop is a no no for me

We've just done prelims here and I decided to not nag about the amount of time spent gaming and not studying hoping that the results would speak for themselves. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your viewpoint, he got 6As and a B.

My now mature grown 22 year old was indeed that boy at 15/16 shouting and swearing at the screen with his head set on in a very animated way until I walked into his room and said

"Language?"

At which point he very contritely apologised, with a "was I being too loud, I'm sorry and I'm sorry about the f word, I'll mute these guys for a bit as they're getting me riled".

It may have happened again a week or so later but he always accepted it was out of line and inappropriate.

I don't think the game is the problem, I think your sons attitude to YOU is and is evidence he really isn't mature enough to handle the kind of emotions that sort of game can evoke.

I would remove the game until he can address his mother with respect, personally

Yes, I think I would draw the line at that too.

My solution if it gets too heated or if they don't help about the house is to remove the cables from the ps4's and hide them until they realise they need to show respect.

They only get them back when suitable apologies or dishes etc. have been done. My oldest son and I had a two day mexican stand off over the dishes getting done...(Yes, I did leave them for two days until he did them...Minger)

Maybe that's why they don't shout at me? (Lightbulb moment) Give them some leaway (sp?) but let them know there are boundaries they cannot cross?

I think I've just realised I'm a bit more strict than I thought

Gamers tensions do run high. I know that. Im not happy with the bad language and him getting all shitty with me. Its my home. It appears when gaming they get into a 'zone'. I get that too.
Once he is off he calms right down and is normal again.
After reading all comments i think in gaming this is the norm. Plus have had this confirmed in RL.
I dont like it but in saying that he could be roaming the streets getting pissed so at least i know where he is. And please dont judge me until you have had teenagers. They change over night no matter how good you parent them.

I see you're choosing to ignore everyone here with teenagers who don't think its normal or acceptable at all.
And thats a pretty low bar to set: its fine to be doing things he shouldn't at home because at least he's not roaming the streets drunk? Children tend to live down to low expectations of them.

Viola I looked up "sophistry" in case it meant something different to what I thought it meant. It doesn't and you weren't using sophistry.

I will be called a pearl clutcher for this but I'm amazed by the fact anyone isn't bothered by the use of the word "mother fucker" just so long as it's not said too loudly.

The law around 18 certificate movies and games is not that they are not to be played by under 18s. It is that they are not to be SOLD to people under 18. Nobody is breaking the law because an under 18 is playing an 18 certificate game or watching an 18 certificate movie.

As for my own experience of watching films like Pulp Fiction and Trainspotting at 14, I was capable of understanding even then that the scenes of extreme violence were bad. They were being portrayed as bad in the movies and this is not difficult to understand within the context of the films.

It's not as though the scene referred to on this thread was being played for laughs of gratification, nor the scene of Begbie classing someone in Trainspotting.

14 and 15 year olds aren't thick.

That's your experience I will repeat again op is complaining about her Ds swearing and shouting while playing a violent 18C game, if she dares to go in and ask him to tone it down he shouts at her, therefore he is not mature enough to control his emotions around this kind of game in my opinion.

Not that any of this matters as obviously the op is not that bothered about this really

It's nothing to do with them being thick and everything to do with desensitisation to violence. And the fact that active involvement in first person player games is entirely different to passive watching of films.

Most of those who think its fine don't actually understand the nuances of thr issue, as we can see here.

Hotpatootietimewarp, this has been resolved as he has since calmed down, apologised and agreed not to repeat it. Teenagers occasionally shout at their parents in the heat of the moment.

I'm amazed by the fact anyone isn't bothered by the use of the word "mother fucker" just so long as it's not said too loudly.

Really? From what I have read people do have an issue with the language, both those who are against gaming and those who don't have an issue with it.

Not all children are the same in the same way that not all people are the same. To say that those who say their children can still lead happy and healthy lives whilst playing games that are rated above their chronological age think that their children are "special" is complete nonsense. It's also arrogant to say that parents who allow gaming "don't understand" is also labeling a complete variety of different parents under one broad sweep.

Yes, I am sure there are parents who just let little Johnny have whatever games he likes from age 7 on the basis that "he likes it and that's all he wants to play" and then ignores the behaviour. There will also be parents who review and fully consider the content of the game and the knowledge of their own child and make a decision on that basis to allow a 15 year old an 18 game.

Different children are effected differently by different things. The only thing my child has ever been terrified of was part of a PG rated movie watched when he was around 10.

It may have been resolved this time but I'd be interested to see if the DS actually sticks to this or gets 'carried away' again

TheSecondViola, we have people here saying that he'll would freeze over before their 14 or 15 year old would ever be allowed to watch such films. That's about control, not about the interests of children.

Would the same parents cover a 15 year olds eyes in an art gallery which had paintings depicting violence scenes? Of course not.

Films and videos games are contemporary art forms and there is no compelling evidence after all these years that games and films which depict violence have negative any effect at all or that they cause desensitisation to violence. Almost everyone can understand that what is being depicted is purely a depiction and not real life.

That's all inconvenient though, because you want an excuse and opportunity to exert control.

Hotpatootietimewarp, I know, perish the thought that a teenager might get a bit stroppy more than once. A dreadful thought. What shall we do with the miscreant should he step out of line again?

I also base my view on whether a movie/game or whatever is suitable on what the subject matter is about and whether they would "get" what the thing was about.

We've been thinking about the Shawshank redemption which is a 15 for our 15.5 and 14.5 year olds and haven't watched it yet simply because it is a brilliant movie and I don't know if they would get full enjoyment from the story yet so don't want to waste it. It's not all just about reviewing for violence and sex and swearing. I have less of an issue with fantasy violence such as against orcs and monsters than I do when it is against "humans" for example. Games containing guns I think are automatically rated a 16 I think but I could be wrong on that.

Having said that, the Netflix filter for them is set at 15 so they could watch it if they wanted without asking but they rarely watch tv/dvds unless we do as a family. i wouldn't rule out 18s necessarily either - we recently watched Kill Bill together as it's not really a sophisticated story line.

TheSecondViola, we have people here saying that he'll would freeze over before their 14 or 15 year old would ever be allowed to watch such films. That's about control, not about the interests of children.

It's about control only inasmuch as we need to control some of our childrens choices because children make poor choices. Because they are CHILDREN.

Art gallery? Now thats a straw man if I ever saw one. You can't be that silly, so I'll ignore that one.

I don't need an excuse to exert authority and control. Thats my job as a parent. Thats what we are supposed to do. Come back when you have more than one toddler and you've learned that.

All I'm saying is that yes he is calm now and he seems to agree that he was out of line but the next time it happens will the op really be that bothered? It seems not so why bother posting about it?

He isn't my child so that is up to the op, one said what my expectations are and line in the sand is and I will not stand for swearing to that extent or being shouted at by my own children, that would come with sanctions what you do is up to you

Really? Saying hell would freeze over before you let your child see a male rape scene is about control? Wow.

soy agree