Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to not understand why I should be putting my baby on solids?

87 replies

mrsb26 · 27/12/2015 18:46

I seem to be constantly faced with people either directly or indirectly telling me that I need to start giving my DD solids - she is 4.5 months old. Comments have been along the lines of, "when are you going to have some proper food?" or "she needs something more, she's hungry a lot."

Why is it that people choose to ignore current NHS guidelines in favour of ideas that were shared/practised 20-30 years ago? No, DD does not need baby rice in a bottle from 12 weeks! I don't care if that's 'what you always used to be told.'

I'm just finding continuing to breastfeed hard within a culture in which the majority appear to be laughing at me and telling me I'm not doing what I should be. I'm trying my best. I'm trying to follow recommended guidelines in conjunction with doing what I feel, as a parent, is best for my baby as an individual.

AIBU?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 27/12/2015 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3rdrockfromthesun · 27/12/2015 18:50

Smile and mentally think 'fuck you'. Seriously do what you are happy with. She is your baby not theirs.

TaliZorah · 27/12/2015 18:52

Do what suits you.

People always give out advice you didn't ask for about babies ignore it

GabiSolis · 27/12/2015 18:52

Well the guidelines change so often you're unlikely to be 'more right' than anyone else. Babies are ready at different times for solids. It's not like a switch goes off in their bodies when they turn 6m that makes them magically able to digest solid food.

But if the commentators are using it as a way to get you to stop BFing then YANBU at all.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 27/12/2015 18:52

I know what you mean. Had my MiL nagging at me the last few weeks that the baby needs water to 'fill him up' - because good old breastmilk just doesn't cut it Hmm. THen again, this is the same woman who said that current advice is 'namby pamby' when told that smoking near the baby is not on (along with asking her to wash her hands and change tops after doing so). Some people are just bloody pig headed - trust your health professional. Feeding solids before 6 months cn cause health problems, it's proven babies have a more difficult time with solids before 6 months along with a weaker immune system, why on earth risk it because Grandparents from the sodding stone age apparently 'know better??

passmethewineplease · 27/12/2015 18:53

YANBU. just smile and ignore. Even if you were to quote current guidelines they'd only come back with the classic..didn't do mine any harm... Hmm

FairyFluffbum · 27/12/2015 18:53

It is entirely up to you.
Some babies do need food around 4 months. Milk just doesn't satisfy them.
My dd was on solids from 16 weeks.
My ds however was 6.5 months before he wanted solids. Every baby is different

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 27/12/2015 18:53

I imagine these comments are coming from the older generation. My MIL was trying to feed DS ice cream from about 3 months 😁

WeAllHaveWings · 27/12/2015 18:55

Weaning guidelines only changes to 6 months around 8 years ago. It will take a while for parents whose youngest is older than 8 to realise. No big deal, just say guidelines have changed recently.

It's easy to doubt yourself or feel others are criticising when you have a young baby, they usually are just out of date, don't let it annoy you.

TheBestChocolateIsFree · 27/12/2015 18:56

I think because they were told quite firmly by medical experts that 12 weeks was necessary and also because they are accustomed to see tiny babies fed with jars so they feel that your babies look enormous. There's also a visceral emotional anxiety factor that kicks in with some people when they fear that a baby is going hungry - and this may lead them to react irrationally.

However, the medical mood may be starting to swing back towards slightly earlier introduction of solids to minimise the risk of allergies. So maybe you'll be the one twitching "are you sure that's safe?" when your DD starts giving your DGD toast fingers at 18 weeks and two days old exactly according to their BabyFudApp3000 (TM).

Mehitabel6 · 27/12/2015 18:56

Smile, nod, ignore. Don't let it get to you.

Debinaround · 27/12/2015 18:57

I have had the same thing op. Just smile and ignore, that's what I do. I honestly don't get why some people are so interested Confused

HackerFucker22 · 27/12/2015 18:57

I have 2 kids (3 and 1) and not one person asked me about my weaning intentions / plans.

MrsJamin · 27/12/2015 18:58

It's partly why I loved baby led weaning, when your baby can physically sit up, pick something up in their hand and put it in their months, they are ready. Ds2 was a month early so instead of trying to work out when he was ready from dates, he showed me when he could feed himself. This is just one issue, OP, out of many that you'll differ from people you meet, so learn to smile, say "thanks for the advice but I'm going to parent how I see best" and leave them to it.

53rdAndBird · 27/12/2015 19:03

I think a lot of typical 4-month-old baby behaviour got explained as 'baby is hungry' in parenting advice that previous generations got. So, waking often = hungry, being fussy and hard work = hungry, putting things in their mouths = hungry, looking vaguely in your direction when you're eating = CLEARLY STARVING.

At least, this is what I told myself when my family were driving me insane with the "oh it's cruel to only give her milk at this age!" talk.

Callaird · 27/12/2015 19:04

I'm a nanny, I have been for 29 years, I've weaned babies at 11 weeks, it didn't do them any harm.

That said, I read and follow current guidelines and advise my employers to start weaning at 6 months, most of them hold out until 6 months but some weaned at 5.5 months or a week before they were 6 months, their decision that I followed.

My advice - smile, nod and do it your way. Tell them, oh yes we are looking into weaning and change the subject, no-one else's business but yours.

Whatsinaname2011 · 27/12/2015 19:04

Just ignore or remind them that advice has moved on.

I have no idea why people are so stuck on this outdated practice.

LumelaMme · 27/12/2015 19:07

Nod and smile.

Someone told me I'd missed the boat with DC3 because I didn't wean her onto solids at the 'right' time (4 months), and she refused to eat any for months after that. She was 8 months before she really took to solids and she never looked back. The only downside was that she began waking me at night again to feed.

I also had reports of people saying, 'She's not STILL breastfeeding that baby, is she?' with my DC. Yup, I was, and I carried right on doing it till they packed it in.

Provided your child is thriving, do what works for you.

90sforever · 27/12/2015 19:12

Don't worry about it. Or, the best reply I could think of was about finger food at 6m being great because I didn't have to purée/ mush. They can just go straight onto "proper food" all.
You're doing really is missing that stage out. Although I do know people who start rusk and milk mixed together at 6m (followed by the old fashioned slow intro into Puréed veg and Ellas kitchen meaning they only really got to try proper good about 9/10 m) which I find odd and probably not very good for baby.

Raxacoricofallapatorius · 27/12/2015 19:17

It's been 6 months for 13 years nearly and was 4-6 months for quite a while before this. The guidelines really don't change all the time.

The misconceptions about weaning are strong though. From guidelines change all the time to some babies aren't satisfied with just milk plus a chorus of waking in the night and a refrain of oh but they are watching us eat.

Smile and ignore.

Heatherplant · 27/12/2015 19:23

If it's really getting to you then you've got to be really firm and say the advice isn't welcome. I get how bloody annoying it is though. I BF for the first 6 months and weaned him off BF totally at approx 14 months. It's possible and you're doing an amazing job.

Whatdoidohelp · 27/12/2015 19:27

Your doing the right thing. The guidelines changed for a reason. Stick to your hubs!

Whatdoidohelp · 27/12/2015 19:27

Guns not hubs

thebestfurchinchilla · 27/12/2015 19:29

YANBU. Trust your instinct. Mothers have always been given unwanted opinions. Those same people were probably told similar things when they were young mothers,it's cycle. Once you see it for what it is , it will bother you less. YOU KNOW BEST.

abbsismyhero · 27/12/2015 19:31

in my area its been 6 months for 15 years when my 15 year old was four months i weaned her as that was the advice at the time two months later the new hv came over and told me it was time to wean her i told her she was already on three "meals" a day (she loved her food) i thought she would faint she tried to tell me off until i challenged her and asked when the guidelines changed? a couple of weeks ago was the reply apparently i should have known (telepathically) that the rules were about to change and not weaned her

ironically she is the only one of the three with no food issues (apart from eating too much) the others had to be weaned early due to reflux and i would say with honesty they were not ready for gluten containing foods and kept them off it ds2 still presented with multiple intolerances he has grown out of (apart from the milk he still gets a milk reaction)