...to not understand why I should be putting my baby on solids?

[mrsb26]

I seem to be constantly faced with people either directly or indirectly telling me that I need to start giving my DD solids - she is 4.5 months old. Comments have been along the lines of, "when are you going to have some proper food?" or "she needs something more, she's hungry a lot."

Why is it that people choose to ignore current NHS guidelines in favour of ideas that were shared/practised 20-30 years ago? No, DD does not need baby rice in a bottle from 12 weeks! I don't care if that's 'what you always used to be told.'

I'm just finding continuing to breastfeed hard within a culture in which the majority appear to be laughing at me and telling me I'm not doing what I should be. I'm trying my best. I'm trying to follow recommended guidelines in conjunction with doing what I feel, as a parent, is best for my baby as an individual.

AIBU?

Women managed to raise children for thousands of years without medical advice on when to start solid foods.
And actually, I do think introducing solid foods too early is linked to allergies.

Ignore them and follow your instict - as long as you start feeding her solid foods when she gets her first teeth, you are well within the boundaries of reasonable decision.

Yanbu

Sometimes there are medical reasons for early weaning, and it makes perfect sense to do so, but I honestly think it's just a novelty with some people to get babies onto solids, especially with first time parents. There is no rush but some people just can't wait for some reason.

Unless a (formula fed) baby is constantly draining 9oz bottles and still wanting more, and hungrier baby milk hasn't made a difference, they simply do not need solid food. A breastfed baby can feed on demand throughout the day and night to satisfy hunger.

you do what I did/am doing is somehow validates what I did

Yes this is so true. I think people get very defensive when it comes to parenting choices and lots of people feel/assume that if you don't do things their way then it's a slight on the way they did things, hence all the "well it didn't do my kid any harm" type comments that often follow.

Of course that often isn't the case, most parents just want to parent the way they see fit rather than how others think they should.

OR, instead of smiling and nodding, if you really can't bear it, memorise some NHS stats and start expounding on them at length when anyone comments. You will bore them into leaving you alone. It worked wonders for me, my mum thinks I'm a right weirdo still but starts backing out of the room when I say, 'ACTUALLY, according to current research and NHS guidelines, drone drone...'

Shall I advise you what to do? What is best for you and your baby.
Ignore other people. And as for the guidelines. They are guidelines, not
Exactly what you have to do. 15 years ago my ds was a hungry baby. I was advised at 4 months to feed him baby rice. He thrived on it and was fine. But that advice has changed now all so confusing.
Dont go 'by the book'. Every baby and mother different. And if you do think your baby hungry then at this age baby rice on a spoon is fine.

I thought the basis of the six month advice was to avoid gut problems in later life (mid 50s)? Hence all the claims of 'my child is ok' are a bit premature ...

Later weaning avoids the mush stage and you can go pretty much straight to normal food which is a win in my book.

My sis-in-law is a week 18 to the day person with her children. Husband books the day off work when babies are a few weeks old for the day they turn 18weeks so they can start food. Then count down to baby, I.e. Saying to 10 week old you can eat food in 8 weeks. Despite this being laid in a bouncer with food smeared on face as they can't sit up and haven't lost tongue thrust. But I wouldn't say anything, she's decided this is best.

To the nanny that said weaning at 11 weeks causes no problems, that's bollocks it's problems in adult good it causes. Both me and my brother weaned on food/rusks/rice around 10weeks and have serious bowel problems/intolerances now. I would love to go back and be held off until 6months.
If a baby is hungry it needs more milk as it has more calories than purée or nutritional cardboard rusks/rice

My baby is the same age and my DM and in laws are obsessed too. We're going through the 4 month sleep regression which is obviously all my fault because I won't give him baby rice
Stick to your guns and Kerri smiling!

As some pp have said some babies are weaned earlier on medical advice. Dd was one of them, although tbh she may have been 4 months old when I tried to wean she just wasn't interested. You can try early but they usually spit it out if not really ready.

My DS did start grabbing food off my plate at 4.5 months but I made him wait because he would gag on it a bit. I don't think he was trying to eat more just wanting to put anything in his mouth.

I think each child is different but it's harder IMO trying to wean a child who is not interested. It's a frustrating development stage why rush it?

Btw prepare yourself your child will turn 2 and you'll be told by many that their children were fully trained by age 2 and completely dry. Most HV will tell you to wait until child is ready but everyone is in such a hurry they are happy to deal with endless pee puddles and poo, they will get you twitchy that you are tempted to join in.

"Dont go 'by the book'. Every baby and mother different. And if you do think your baby hungry then at this age baby rice on a spoon is fine."

Sorry but this is bullshit.

The "book" is based on studies of thousands of babies. You can't tell by looking or instinct whether your baby's gut is ready, or whether they are one of those who will get problems in later life because of early weaning.

Science can tell us reliably this is a risk however, and one easily avoided by simply not weaning early.

Agree totally with tellmemore; The way people talk to each other is the issue and so many on this thread are guilty of doing the exact thing they are criticising others for!

I feel that maybe the OP needs to frame things differently and get thicker skin! Think positively - be thankful you're still able to follow the guidelines and "do the best" for your baby. Bf'ing fucking broke me mentally and I reluctantly introduced formula at 7.5 weeks. I get shit all the time from professionals (and others) for this decision but I ignore it as I know, if I'd carried on, I wouldn't be well enough to care for my baby.

I disagree with the idea that today's culture makes it difficult to carry on bf'ing - I've found quite the opposite. But then, that's my experience and how I have perceived those around me. Being a new mum is hard and we constantly doubt the choices we make and so we're probably more aware of the people around us disagreeing with those choices!

Of course YANBU for "trying to follow recommended guidelines in conjunction with doing what I feel, as a parent, is best for my baby as an individual". But I think you already know this.

Science can tell us reliably this is a risk however, and one easily avoided by simply not weaning early.

But where 'science' falls down is the gut not being ready is one risk. Another risk is allergies (where there is evidence that early weaning is better).

Quite simply everything we do in life is a risk, science can identify them but can't tell us which ones to take.

So you do what's right for your baby. You cant leave a baby that screams it is hungry after milk till 6 months. Equally, it's pointless telling someone to start weaning a baby that doesn't want to eat yet to avoid allergies.