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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you know any misogynistic women?

555 replies

ovaryhill · 27/12/2015 09:37

I've been reading a bit about this and wondered how common it is.
Has anyone had any experience of this?
I know at least one woman who behaves as if she hates other women and is very derogatory about women in general, agrees that wearing short skirts means you're asking for trouble kind of thing, sees other women as a threat and would prefer to work for men
Any opinions or experience?

OP posts:
IrishDad79 · 31/12/2015 00:49

A lot of rage from the mn thought police being directed at women who have the temerity to prefer the company of men. Get a grip ffs, a woman preferring the company of men to women is not a crime! If a man told me he preferred the company of women to men, I can't say I'd give a shit. I certainly wouldn't think he was letting down the brotherhood, it's just a personal preference.

NoMore314 · 31/12/2015 00:52

It's the reasons they give for their preference you bigeejit79

LumpySpacedPrincess · 31/12/2015 08:08

What about if they prefered the company of white people because white people were insert some personality traits as opposed to black people. They didn't like black people as black people always insert another set of personality traits.

Would you tell them to get a grip or would you point out that they were being ignorant? Or, as I suspect, are some forms of prejudice acceptable and some unacceptable?

IrishDad79 · 31/12/2015 08:32

Lumpy, you're missing the important point that men and women ARE different and do, generally speaking, have different personality traits, interests etc. Would you condemn a woman who said she generally prefers the company of other women? I certainly wouldn't, nor would I condemn a woman who says she generally prefers the company of other men.

BertrandRussell · 31/12/2015 08:49

IrishDad- how about you read the whole thread then come back and join the discussion?

Lottapianos · 31/12/2015 08:49

IrishDad, please do expand on the differences and different 'personality traits' between men and women

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2015 09:24

LumpySpacedPrincess might want to read the whole thread as well. There are posters who stated they prefer the company of women.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 31/12/2015 09:30

Irish, all of the people I know are completely different. If I had to group I would have a group of extraverts (male and female) introverts (male and female) people who share my hobbies (male and female) annoying people (male and female.)

Personality is not handed out with your gender. I think you have lost the fight with your prejudices Irish and you may want to have a look at that. Wink

As for preferring the company of women, sometimes women feel safer that way.

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 31/12/2015 09:31

When you automatically dismiss the company of 50% of the population either way you're making a stupid judgement.

I also think if you publicly announce to anyone "I tend not to get on with people of your sex" you're not really greasing thr oils for a good friendship and kind of contributing to your own self fulfilling prophecy.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2015 09:35

Lumpy so you are fine with someone who called herself "a woman's woman " (which some one has ) but not someone who calls herself "a man's woman " . I think both are blinkered

RufusTheReindeer · 31/12/2015 09:44

As no said its the reasons people give

For example

"Women are bitchy"

WELL SO ARE MEN AND SO YOU SHOULD AVOID THEM AND BECOME A HERMIT!!!!

See..

.i dont know if i prefer women friends or not...i dont have much choice as i am surounded by them Smile

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 31/12/2015 09:45

Lass, I know I'm not lumpy (well I am in parts!) but I think one of the points of this thread is that people tend not to bang on about being a "woman's woman" quite as much because, so the argument goes, to be a "I'm one of the boys" badge seems to be something to aspire to.

And the question is why. The answers so far given have been a) men are a higher status group therefore more popular and b) women are bitchier than men and therefore rightfully less popular.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2015 09:53

Lumpy it is either acceptable to say you prefer friends of one sex or it isn't. Not that it is acceptable if your preference is female but not male. There may be more of the "men's women " than "women's women" but the latter exist.

Has anyone said your answer a) I don't recall that although it may have been one of the interpretations put on the male friends preference.

My own view is that anyone expressing either preference is probably not going to be that interested in me , nor me in them, which is fine.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2015 09:54

Sorry , replied to wrong person.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 31/12/2015 10:02

Lass, I think it's fine to be more comfortable with women because you feel safer, I know women who do this for bloody good reasons. That is completely different to hanging out with one gender because you attribute certain characteristics to their gender. Fwiw I have only me women who favour the company of women because of the experiences they have had with men, and they're entitled to do so, we all deserve to feel safe. I've never met anyone who declares themselves to be a womans woman in real life, only women who have had frightening experiences and prefer the company of women.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 31/12/2015 10:07

I know only women not I have only me women. Not blaming sausage fingers, just my sausage brain...

BertrandRussell · 31/12/2015 10:18

In my experience women who say they prefer the company of men tend to be suggesting this makes them superior to other women- that women are lightweight and trivial and not really worth bothering with, while men talk about serious things.

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 31/12/2015 10:18

Lass, I agree that anyone who baldly states a preference is a tad silly. I suppose it's quite natural to identify more with people of your own "ilk" but nice when someone comes along to challenge your perception and always good to be open to everyone.

I don't think that is what this thread is about though. I think it's about why there seem to be so many women who wish to disown other women, when they themselves are women. I guess you would disagree that such women exist to any greater extent than vice versa?

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 31/12/2015 10:22

Except of course when, as Lumpy says, you are wary due to personal safety issues which is super sad.

DrDreReturns · 31/12/2015 10:23

I'm a man, but in a previous job one of our female clients seemed to actively dislike women. If a male member of our team phoned her up everything was always OK, but if a female phoned her up she always gave them a very hard time. It was very striking. The phone calls were always routine, nothing unusual.

Egosumquisum · 31/12/2015 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RufusTheReindeer · 31/12/2015 10:25

My agreement with Bertrand is based on a grand total of two friends

Friend 1 had a small handful of male friends (that i knew of) she seemed to spend most of her time hanging around with other women but constantly crapped on about being a mans woman and all women did was talk about glitter and babies (paraphrasing) and men talked about politics and world events (obvs not my dh who has no idea about either)

Freind 2 who is in a very male dominated job and has "male" hobbies but just refers to people as "my friend" no sex attached

Much prefer the company of friend 2 and thats how i am reading some of these posts

Pannn · 31/12/2015 10:26

It's complex isn't it? But so easy to generalise about.

What do we make of teen-girl nastinesses re misogynistic behaviour and bullying? Dd has certainly suffered a lot from school 'friends' and these boards are rammed with troubled mums re the abusive stuff their dds get at the hands of other girls. Does that qualify?

Being a bloke and having hung out with lots of girls/women who prefer the company of men, exactly none of them have shown any inclination to believe they are in any way superior to other women because of their choice and the reasons for it.

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 31/12/2015 10:29

DrDre similarly I knew a woman who was always putting down women in the public eye.

So if a woman had been a victim of DV she would assume that woman had been a "nag" or if a woman was suspected of a crime she would assume automatic guilt along with manipulative traits of course!

Once I called her on it so in her next sentence she started slagging off a man for good balance! I said that really wasn't the result I'd been hoping for Confused

RufusTheReindeer · 31/12/2015 10:33

ego

Agree

The vast majority of my female friends do talk a lot about children, husbands, clothes and crafting

From what i over hear or get told by my husband he talks about jobs, children (briefly Grin) and sport

I dont want to talk about any of those ...i would like to talk about whats in the news, the latest films, politics, womens rights (and a bit about clothes and children Grin)

Thats why i come on here