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Original poster

Do you know any misogynistic women?

555 replies

ovaryhill · 27/12/2015 09:37

I've been reading a bit about this and wondered how common it is.
Has anyone had any experience of this?
I know at least one woman who behaves as if she hates other women and is very derogatory about women in general, agrees that wearing short skirts means you're asking for trouble kind of thing, sees other women as a threat and would prefer to work for men
Any opinions or experience?

OP posts:
SanityClause · 27/12/2015 10:18

I know a family where the DS has had his university fees paid upfront, but the one DD who has gone to university (the other is younger) took out a loan. They decided "it's not worth it for girls" on the assumption that the girls, despite their university education, will probably not have a proper career, so will never pay back the whole loan.

shins · 27/12/2015 10:19

Many. Interestingly, a couple of "cool girls" I knew when I was younger, the ones who "just got on better with men" and denigrated other women, have belatedly discovered feminism in their 40s. The bullshit women face is perhaps only revealed in full when you're no longer young and pretty and you realise a lot of the attention you got from men back then was 100% sexualHmm

dontpokethebear · 27/12/2015 10:23

Sadly my dm. She never has anything good to say about anyone really, except when talking about herself! My dsf and I have pulled her up on it and she'll be suitable shame faced, but soon reverts back. We're fairly sure it stems from poor self esteem.
It's been going on all my life and has rubbed off on me to some extent, except I can give myself a mental slap and tell myself not to be such a b*h Xmas Blush

AnyFucker · 27/12/2015 10:25

We have a live one on a thread right now ☺

Original poster
ovaryhill · 27/12/2015 10:27

Arf, that's an interesting article, Anyfucker, that's exactly the expression friend uses 'gets on better with men'
My mum was like a lot of those mentioned, called herself Mrs Joe Bloggs, once told me I'd never get a man with a house like that, when I was particularly untidy one day.
Is that misogynistic though, or just a product of her time?
Interesting about the no funny female comedians though, I will admit I have said that myself, again though, is that misogyny or do I simply not find the female ones that are about funny?
Just as I find some male comedians not funny

OP posts:
PitPatKitKat · 27/12/2015 10:28

Used to. Don't anymore by choice. One of them became a man. That person always treated women very badly- as a straight woman, as a gay woman and then as a man.

There is a difference between downtrodden/has some funny attitudes and fully misogynist though. Still know plenty of the former.

bertsdinner · 27/12/2015 10:29

My gran was a bit like previous posters have mentioned, serving up food she would give the men/boys the best bits and actually say "men get the best", my aunt was the same. I don't think they hated women, they were living out a very traditional role and to them it was the way things were. My aunt was once dishing up a chicken and even my sexist dinosaur grandad objected as me and my sister literally got bone and gristle.
I've come across women (mainly at work), who seem to actively dislike other women, I don't know if it's misogyny or some form of extreme competativeness with other women.

BertrandRussell · 27/12/2015 10:30

Actually, it's not overt misogyny from women that's the real problem- it's the constant low level undermining of feminism that goes on. Every time a woman talks about her partner "helping" with the children, or how she buys her own Christmas presents or how "yes he does cook, but makes such a mess it's not worth asking him to" a little feminist fairy dies.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/12/2015 10:32

Af beat me to it

Egosumquisum · 27/12/2015 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJayy · 27/12/2015 10:35

a little feminist fairy dies Grin

Lottapianos · 27/12/2015 10:36

Absolutely Bertrand. And talking about men who 'don't see mess' and 'can't multitask' and occasionally agree to 'babysit' their own children. Or telling other women who live with a man who is capable of lifting a finger around the house that they've got him 'well trained'. Ugh.

People who say 'males' and 'females' when they mean 'men' and 'women' usually turn out to be downright misogynists too. I know a few women who do this.

Original poster
ovaryhill · 27/12/2015 10:36

Strawberry I also had a friend like you describe, her whole day to day existence was taken up with trying hard to outdo other women in the looks/sexiness department
She would dress up for school pick up on a Fri as apparently it was 'single dad day'

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/12/2015 10:37

Women in my family rave on about DH because he also brings up DD. They say poor DH because he comes in from work and tidies up (a tiny bit) and puts her PJs on. He is a veritable saint in their eyes. And although I also work and care more for DD, who has severe SN, I am "lucky to have such a saintly husband who helps me so much' according to them.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/12/2015 10:38

Women on here often say 'I'm not a feminist".why wouldn't you be?

Nataleejah · 27/12/2015 10:40

Yes. Plenty. Including my own mother.

elementofsurprise · 27/12/2015 10:40

Er... I've always found I get on better with men. But the very occasional woman I 'click' with is better... but I always tried to make female friends throughout my 20's and really struggled. Women did seem to have a weird two-faced bitchy thing going on whilst the men seemed more straightforward, talked about more interesting things. However, I've since discovered mumsnet and finally realised there's a whole load of women like me out there... just don't know any irl!

It's pretty depressing to know women didn't want to know me and men just wanted to take advantage Sad. I'm not misogynistic, I've just been rejected by women, probs for some subtle traits of either ASD or MH probems. Plenty of women are in the same position as me. Please be careful who you're criticising.

AnyFucker · 27/12/2015 10:41

I have just read another live thread where the op puts up with arrogant arseholiness and offers to do housework "for her" because her H is a "good provider"

It's all over MN wherever you look, and all over RL

Original poster
ovaryhill · 27/12/2015 10:41

Forgot to say, if in company and someone mentioned they were having an early night or sex was mentioned, she would say to the woman 'yes, but he'll be thinking about me'

OP posts:
Inmybackyard · 27/12/2015 10:43

I get on better with men than women.

I also identify as a feminist: I call out sexism in my workplace, I think women who say they're raped were raped, I don't think fathers "babysit" I think they parent, I think society is patriarchal and gender is too often ignored in social policy, I'm vehemently pro-abortion, I think we haven't gone far enough on free child care etc etc.

I would like a group of female friends, but it doesn't happen. I invariably gravitate to male company.

CastaDiva · 27/12/2015 10:44

What Bertrand and Lotta said. And yes to a pp's point about internalised misogyny generally being linked to low intelligence and lack of critical honking skills.

Preciousxbane · 27/12/2015 10:47

My Mother and two of my sisters.

The classic line from my Mother when I told her my exH had hit me was I must have annoyed him.

Many other depressing examples.

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2015 10:50

A lot of it on MN. A lot of hatred directed at other women.

Yes to this

Especially on threads about female celebrities.

BubsandMoo · 27/12/2015 10:50

Hint to the "I get on better with men" brigade (and I used to say the same) - you're making sexist statements just by implying that people have certain qualities/personalities purely by virtue of their sex. Try treating everyone as people rather than seeing them as men/women and assuming things based on that.

If in doubt whether something is sexist, try replacing the "man/woman" with "black person/Jew" etc and see how it sounds.

BubsandMoo · 27/12/2015 10:51

Critical honking skills Grin