To opt out completely when we have children?

[swansolistice]

I used to like Christmas, but threads here and the huge piles of gifts on Facebook make me feel faintly nauseous. The sheer amount is obscene.

I hate the threads about who has more, who had more spent on them, who had more presents.

I know I'm being a complete Scrooge but semi-seriously, WIBVU to take child(ren) away to a lovely remote cottage in Wales or Scotland or the heart of England and have Christmas there without any of the excess?

It is obscene OP. I did a clear out of the toy room before Christmas and just wish I could do something with everything that came out. But even charity shops font want toys. We wee at my in laws yesterday and for our 3 kids (all under 3 yrs old!) Came home with bags and bags of stuff. My family arrive today and Mt mum (who hates waste like I do) was upset telling me how loaded the car is with stuff for the kids. She loves them but is shocked at all the stuff other relatives have also sent.

I feel bad about it but am so so grateful to each person for each individual item they cared enough to send my kids. I'm also so glad that we have lots of family who love our kids and can afford to spoil them. So that is what I'm focusing on....what the obscene pile of stuff says rather than what it is. I spent very little on them, just 2-3 small stocking fillers and a slightly bigger gift for the eldest from Santa but when I saw my friends Facebook posts of Santa toys I felt a little ashamed at how little I got them. But thank god I didn't get them more after I saw what family had for them!

No-one should ever feel they have to justify how little they buy their children either just because others don't. Buy your kids what you want. We don't have loads relatives that buy our boys presents so have always bought tons. They aren't spoilt and are grateful for everything they get, and it's never been a case of out competing other people, either for us or them. I love putting the photos on FB, not just for other people but to keep my photos in albums that I often look back on.

OP said upthread they are lucky enough to have free access to a cottage in Wales.

We spend about £1200 per family when we go away for Xmas. Worth every penny to get away from all the madness.

I love putting the photos on FB, not just for other people but to keep my photos in albums that I often look back on.

Try Dropbox. They don't consider your photos to be theirs once you've uploaded them.

Thanks disappointed. Will check it out. I'm not too het up over FB "ownership" and photos though either.

I live in a remote cottage in Scotland - with wifi and electricity and the same old Facebook posts.We had a lovely Christmas yesterday - we always let present opening take ages.

But, remote no longer means living in the 19th century so YABU.

The mania hasn't affected us. I look at the pics on FB and think ok, cool presents, their DCs must have been happy. Just like mine were with their presents.

We've not been in town much in December either (I have social anxiety so I try and avoid it - most presents were bought online this year). Won't be going in to browse sales (although next time I'm in town I will make a beeline for Boots for the half price giftwrap, as I love theirs so will buy next year's paper) so the madness of the shops has no impact.

I did think maybe it's been a bit easier as the DCs are no longer at school (we withdrew them in Feb and now home ed) but TBH I don't remember them being that hyped up in previous years anyway. They always get excited about their presents of course but if we see any festive madness it just washes over us really.

I think it helps that we don't do much at home, bit of craft and decorating the tree, and singing/playing carols (we aren't religious but carols are a huge part of Christmas for me, and DD seems to feel the same which makes me very happy!).

I don't think the OP is being U, in that she is obviously finding the combination of Christmas and fertility treatment really difficult. That is understandable.
OP, it doesn't have to be piles of presents and spending lots of money. We are always broke, but DDs favourite things about Christmas are the ones that don't cost much. Blasting carols while making gingerbread, collecting holly.

It's easy to make things magical for children, with very little effort and cost involved. You will have loads of good ideas, when it comes down to it. I hope you get your bfp soon :)

my kids are not overly fussed with Xmas. We never made a huge deal about Santa - they wrote Santa lists at school, I just asked what favourite present would be. We save through the year. They get max of £50 (more like £30) but mine are all under 7 so easy enough. Usually it's one big present with some pound shop stocking fillers. youngest only got £20 spent on him as he wanted magnetic drawing board.

My kids are not grabby, they don't complain but we are raising them to realise everything material has a financial cost and we only gave so much money. If they want so thing we encourage them to save.

pil feed us so only extras we buy are some mince pies and dessert for pil

YABU in that let people do what they want and mind your own as it's their lives...

YANBU in that looking through my Facebook and Instagram I was a bit and the piles and piles of gifts people had given their kids, it does seem such a waste of money to me but then DS is 3, got PJs from us and that was it (plus £200 in his ISA) and a stocking full of crap he loved that cost us about £30... Spending £200+ on toys is not an option to me until it is a bike or he is in secondary school and wants his own play station/ laptop (but even then I think it'll be a family one but will see at the time) but putting the money into his ISA instead is something that we will continue to do!

Surelybit would cost you more to bugger off to the other end of the country?

No-one is forcing you to spend an obscene amount, if you read/see what others have done and bought and feel that its all or nothing, I think the problem lies with you.

I dont have alot of money, we have a quiet, simple Chrisas at home. More extravagent than some and less so than others. Its what you make of it that counts. Obviously there are many families who dont celebrate Christmas for different reasons but your logic seems a bit skewed.