Giving to charity instead of sending cards - good idea or cop out?

[m0therofdragons]

A close relative emailed today saying he's not doing Christmas cards and will give the money to charity instead. I'm actually a bit miffed. To me, Christmas cards that I post are to say to those people "I may not see you in my everyday life but I still care about you and think of you and you're worth the effort and cost." This relative used to be close but circumstances have changed and we've drifted so it feels like he's pulling further away. I'm also annoyed for my elderly grandmother as he won't be sending her one either and he's asked me to let her know as she doesn't have email. Most of her friends are dead and she's always supported him with generous gifts and her time and a card would matter to her.
I'm not saying charities aren't deserving but I can manage to give to charity and send a few cards to those I love.
I can understand it for people you see regularly as I've said merry Christmas to my friends so not sending a card wouldn't matter as I can show them my love for them in other ways.
It just feels like a showy off "aren't I good" type gesture when actually it's a bit crap.
Iabu? Are Christmas cards a thing of the past?

I don't send cards and I don't donate to charity. I hate cards and think they are a total waste of time and money.

Helping charity is of course a good thing but not at the expense of leaving those you supposedly care about feeling unloved.
Also not sure why we are against giving money to the post office who employ people. Surely that's a good thing, supporting local employment?

I don't do cards (except to my Nan who would excommunicate me if I dared to interfere with the sanctity of the Christmas card tradition).

Instead I gave £30 to Mind, which is the charity of my choice.

I used to buy charity Cards, but its such a small amount that gets donated.

The people I want to send cards too, I see during the Christmas period anyway, and those I don't see are people I would only send a card to out of 'politeness'.

And don't get me started on the 30 cards DD (5) came home with. Almost all written by the parents. 30 kids x 30 cards = almost 1000 cards just in her one class!

If you feel unloved because you haven't received a Christmas card that is entirely your own problem

I didn't send cards or donate to charity! That's more of a cop out. I don't receive many cards either, I don't think many of my friends send them.

.... And I'd be happy not to receive them either! Very annoying, cluttering up all my surfaces and falling out of all the holders every time open the door!

Bah humbug!

I've done the charity donation thing since my diagnosis 3 years ago, only give cards to immediate family.

Perfectly honest its Part cop out part personal reasons for me.

It's funny how many people no longer send me cards since this decision - not that I care but it shows a misunderstanding.

I post plenty of stuff during the year, the royal mail/post office get plenty of my business without Christmas cards. I let folk know I'm thinking of them when I email/text them to say I'm sending money to X charity. Seems pretty win-win to me .

We don't send Christmas cards. We have done charity cards for around 10 years and send e-cards instead. There are 6 elderly relatives that I write letters too in December so that they receive something and they've all said they prefer it because it actually gives them something to read rather than just a "merry Christmas from LaLyra, Mr LaLyra and the mini lyras".

The kids send cards to their classmates, although one of the 13 yo's decided not to do so this year and they make a card for PIL and their other Granny.

I love cards - not just Christmas, but all through the year. I enjoy choosing them, writing them, choosing some stickers to put on them etc. I have a couple of friends and relatives who do the same. And at Christmas I send cards to some elderly relatives/family friends who are not online and who I might not talk with much but like to remember at Christmas.

I also donated a gift to a child through the MPS Christmas Tree project and sent cat food to a cat shelter.

I donated money to a local charity this morning rather than sending Christmas cards.

I don't get this whole "I haven't spoke to you for a year but here is a card" idea anyway and people I am close to I will talk to anyway to wish merry Christmas!

For me writing cards is about taking time to show people you are thinking about them, and that is what is missing with the blanket round robin not buying cards thing. It would be nice if those not doing them would still take time to drop people an individual email to say hi and send love at Christmas.

I show people I am thinking about them by making contact all year round not waiting until Christmas to send them an annual message!

Total cop out. If you don't want to see n d cards don't. If you want to give to charity do. Don't link it though it's just virtue signalling and probably quite mean spirited to a lot of the older generation.

I love Christmas cards, and send them to my family abroad every year - aunts and uncles and the whole lot. I love it :) It doesn't cost much either.

Total and utter cop out.

I think its pretty pathetic. If you like someone, send them a card. If you don't like them, don't send them a card. If you want to give to charity, do. If you want to give to charity and show off about it, do, but you're not very nice.

Of course it's a cop out.

Don't get me wrong I totally get why people (some years me) cop out of what is essentially a bastion of wifework BUT lets be honest here it is a cop out.

The two things are not related- I mean can we apply this to other things, I don't like visiting people in hospital can I donate instead? Don't fancy holding doors open for old people in shopping centres? donate.... Don't fancy ringing my elderly relatives through the year? Donate....

I enjoy giving and receiving cards but if someone chooses not to I m not offended.

However, I really HATE it when someone gives me a charity gift. It's the same as saying we didn't get you anything this year and donated what we would have spent to charity, while they readily accept a gift for themselves. If people are keen on charity they should request that people give them charity gifts not make the decision on behalf of someone else.

Except it's the money from cards going to charity...that is why they are connected

But why do we send cards other than duty obviously it's to show friends/family you care and are thinking about them at christmas. The charity donation (why laudable for it's own sake) doesn't achieve that.

Or else I could say I don't fancy doing the supermarket shop this week, I'll give the money to oxfam.

Lovely to give to charity but it doesn't actually achieve the original objective of feeding the kids does it?

I don't send cards or give a special donation to charity at Christmas. This is a mix of being very broke and not liking the wastefulness of cards.I wish everybody I know a Happy Christmas on FB where I can and sometimes make a silly family picture to go with it. I gave it up once stamps started to be so expensive as it seems daft to post bits of card to each other.

I send a few cards to people I have not seen for a long time. Lots of my friends on Facebook have announced they are not sending cards but are donating to charity instead but I think they just want to appear 'good'
I think if people were really honest, they would admit they can't be arsed and are too lazy to bother with all the faff.
I Wouldn't blame them either.

Lottie it's just a piece of paper I can tell those I see merry Christmas and if I don't see them regularly then why send a card anyway

Seems like such falseness