To be really quite fucked off about the fact that I am currently miscarrying an having to look after DSD

[Emmawemmawoowah]

I'm fuming, livid in fact.

I'm bleeding heavily, have thrown up twice this morning in front of DD and DSD and am having cramps.

DSD (7) hasn't let DP get close to me all weekend. She can't stand anyone else having his attention but herself, it usually doesn't bother me so much but at the moment I'm in need of that affection and struggling to bite my tongue.

They are both currently fighting as I'm writing on here, I'm trying to put my feet up, DP is out at work and I'm pretty mad that I've been left with both of them if I'm really honest. DSD has pushed DD (2) on to a table, she's caught her eye and bruised it so she's been crying hysterically an as a result DSD had a screaming fit because DD was getting attention off me.

I'm really struggling today, I just want to be on my own with DD. Is that understandable?

I usually look after DSD for most of the time he's here and she's usually always pretty demanding but my mood is low and I'm really hurting and struggling today.

I'm incensed on your behalf OP, but reading that this man doesn't even know how to draw cash out just made my jaw drop.

Everything else is shocking / terrible but this is just the icing on the cake.

I've had 4 losses and whilst my DP wasn't as helpful as he could have been your DH makes him look like Mother fucking Theresa!!!

I have no practical suggestions, I would however send him to source dinner be it from his mum if need be

When you feel better this manchild needs a crash course in basic life skills.

Coffee coffee- I wondered that too. Have you actually seen a medical professional to confirm what's going on? Please tell me you have at least managed to do that with his help? Have you got an iPad or something that would distract the 7yo? And stick 2yo in front of the telly or take her to bed with you? I'm so sorry you're not getting more support

If he can't use a cash point, you can give him the pin and tell him to put the card in the slot and follow the instructions.

I agree with people saying you should get scanned if you're still feeling pg symptoms. My DGM had severe bleeding during pregnancy and the doctor said there was no way she could still be pg w she begged him to do a scan as a personal favour (she was a nurse and knew the doc), so he did the scan and there was my dads heartbeat... They were just about to do the procedure to clear all the residue which would have terminated him so if she hadn't insisted i wouldn't be here!
Not trying to get your hopes up but its better to be safe and double check than keep wondering what if

I don't have any contact details for DSDs mum and I don't think DP will take kindly to me requesting that she goes home until I'm well again.

Tough. If he chooses to leave you in charge of DSD whilst having a miscarriage, he's left you with no alternative. You really must get the contact details off him, she'd be furious if DSD got ill and you hadn't told her.

You really are letting him get away with too much. When he wanted his dinner cooked for him yesterday, you should have showed him the kitchen and told him you were too ill, not done if it for him. Likewise you really shouldn't be contemplating cooking tonight, let alone shopping. He really does have to have some sort of back-up arrangements for the farm, what would he have done with the DC if you'd been hauled off to hospital?

I haven't seen my GP but I have spoken to him on the phone. He basically told me that at this stage, the MC will usually sort itself out but if I have any worries at all not to hesitate to call him back.

My first MW appointment has come through too. I'm guessing I will have to ring at some point, explain what's happened and cancel it

DP cooked dinner and he has hoovered upstairs for me although I shit you not, he didn't know 'which button turned it on.' There is only one button on the whole god damn thing.

I have just sent him to the shop with his card and pin and told him what do. He's gone to buy me some pads too.

Whipping that spoiled little bitch into shape. I'm sorry but that's exactly what he is and I've been totally allowing it!! Every day is a school day!

I'm a bit surprised that the GP is that laissez faire about it. When I had a miscarriage I had a phase when I went extremely light headed and my blood pressure plummeted, and there was a bit of a general panic - but fortunately I was already in hospital so it was easily sorted out. It might be an idea to phone the midwife now.

he has hoovered upstairs for me

Its his house to!

I'm only between 5-6 weeks and he just said that this is usually the time when things go wrong.

If I'm honest, I did think that he would want to see me at least and that he would perhaps refer me for a scan.

It's strange because I still 'feel' pregnant but whether that's more wishful thinking I just don't know.

OP, I'm so sorry to read about your m/c. And YANBU.

I've never understood why a non-resident child needs to be at his/her father's home in his absence? Seems pretty pointless, and not exactly what access is intended to achieve. Access by proxy is particularly ridiculous when there's a medical emergency taking place.

would never remember to bath the kids or brush their teeth.

A grown adult can't remember to bath his own children ? What's wrong with him ?

He sounds an awful awful man.

I don't wish to be rude but what exactly are you getting from this relationship ?

I see he has hoovered "for you" Amazing. FYI you could pay someone to do that. You'd also get more emotional support if you got a dog I'd imagine.

In my horror at your DP I forgot to add that I'm so sorry for your loss and that you feel unwell.

I still think you need to contact your EPU as I'm sure you may need further investigation to ensure you have passed everything and won't have any complications. I think I'm sorry I've never been in your position.

I'm really sorry you are married to a such a selfish arse. Please stop enabling him. Get a takeaway.

Op I really feel for you.

DSD has just spat in my face. DP didn't discipline her. I told her to go to her room she screamed and refused.

DP has just told me that he will sort her out in future!!

I hope you told DP he needs to sort her out NOW.

For the love of god, don't procreate further with this man. He's useless.

If he won't discipline her and if he won't show any respect for you, then you should refuse to have dsd on your own under any circumstances. I'm sorry, but spitting in your face is just vile behaviour and you don't need it.

I realise you are dealing with an extremely stressful and difficult issue so it's important to focus on managing it but you do seem to on a bit of denial to me about your partner and your relationship as you are ignoring people's real concern for you being with someone like this.

Her behaviour is bad but she really isn't the problem here.

I think you need to consider that you might still be pregnant and you really need to rest up.

I think the little girl should go back to her mother and your partner needs to bloody sort things out.

All you should be doing is lying in bed drinking tea.

Her husband is the problem and because of the way he is (lazy, won't discipline his child, thoughtless, etc) the Op's dsd is also a problem because of her behaviour. So until he gets his act together and supports the OP, then she should refuse to look after dsd.

I keep thinking he's getting better but then something like this happens and he's just useless!! I have little support with HIS kids. It's like childcare is designated to be a 'woman's job.'

For as long as I can remember I've got her up, dressed, fed, teeth brushed and then similarly at night time bath, night clothes, story and bed. He has never bathed DD who is 2 and a half.

We struggle with DDs teeth as it is, they are rotten. I've been to the dentist with her numerous times and been 'ticked off' by him for letting her teeth get so bad. I took her o the dentist as soon as I saw signs of decay when they started going bright white at the tops.

When DP picks her up from her DMs she often has a fizzy drink and a packet of sweets. She has only ever drank milk or water here and I try an promote a healthy diet, like a lot of kids, she doesn't like veg but she is getting better and it's only through sheer Perserverence.

OPs husband is clearly quite happy with the status quo. He has someone to do everything for him. He doesn't even have to do the shopping !!

Plus he has someone to dump caring for his DD on regardless of wether it's convenient or not.