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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To disappointed with this doctor's comments and want to raise the issue with the practice?

159 replies

Truckingfaffic · 19/12/2015 14:29

Tool DD to the doctors to tall about getting the pill as sge wants to start having sex with BF.

Doctor's advice was to use extra precautions for first 7 days.

Surely he should be advising condom use AND pill? All the times we've spoken about things I've stressed the need for both. Always. She understands. Wgat if he's giving this advice to all?

AIBU?

OP posts:
balletgirlmum · 19/12/2015 14:32

Did he warn her that the pill doesn't protect against std's?

I would assume most girls go on the pill to avoid having to rely on condoms?

Llouh · 19/12/2015 14:32

No I don't think you're being unreasonable.

I got pregnant on the pill while taking it correctly and I think it is only 99% effective so 1 in 100 girls could get pregnant.

LoTeQuiero · 19/12/2015 14:32

Yes, YABU

EduCated · 19/12/2015 14:34

Did he go through the fact that no contraception is 100% guaranteed? If he provided the facts and made clear that it needs to be used properly and that there's still a possibility of pregnancy, then I think beyond that it's up to your DD to make that choice.

PenelopePitstops · 19/12/2015 14:34

YABU

The pill is an alternate to condoms when in a relationship. Assuming they have regular std checks, condoms aren't needed.

EduCated · 19/12/2015 14:34

And the risk of STDs, of course.

iPaid · 19/12/2015 14:35

Yabu

Dontforgetmyfries · 19/12/2015 14:35

Yabu.

I'm not even sure why you were sat in on her doctors appointment either.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 19/12/2015 14:36

YABU, I would have assumed she told the doctor she was in a relationship, he gave appropriate advice.

Veterinari · 19/12/2015 14:37

I assume that what he was trying to communicate is that the pill does not offer protection for the first 7 days and so a second method of contraception must be used

Once the pill is 'active' it is then personal choice whether to continue to use condoms also, recognising that the pill does not protect against sti's

TheFairyCaravan · 19/12/2015 14:41

YABU

BackforGood · 19/12/2015 14:42

I'm more confused as to why you are taking her / sitting in with her Confused
If she's old enough to be having a sexual relationship then surely she's old enough to be going to the Drs on her own?

Truckingfaffic · 19/12/2015 14:43

He didn't mention the pill doesn't protect against stds, no. So he's happily letting her into the world of sexual relationships unlikely to get pregnant, but unprotected against stds. Unacceptable imo

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 19/12/2015 14:45

You took her to get the pill. He gave her the correct medical advice for the medication he gave her and you want to complain?

Supermanspants · 19/12/2015 14:47

YABU
Out of interest why are you taking your DD? I am assuming she is over 16?

Wolpertinger · 19/12/2015 14:48

YABU. You took her to get the pill. She got the pill and was warned that it won't protect against pregnancy for the first few days. The end.

Surely it's obvious that a small tablet will be no defence against STDs?

And WTF were you doing in the appointment anyway?

lornathewizzard · 19/12/2015 14:48

He probably assumed that a parent who takes her daughter for the pill has already educated her on the dangers of unprotected sex.

MrsGradyOldLady · 19/12/2015 14:49

So she's ready for a sexual relationship but isn't aware that the pill doesn't protect against stds? I think someone's failed to educate your daughter but I wouldn't be blaming the doctor.

theycallmemellojello · 19/12/2015 14:51

Eh, maybe some people use condoms and the pill, but most people on the pill dispense with condoms once they're in a relationship surely. (Assuming both parties have been checked for STIs.) However, I can empathise with a worry that a teenage boyfriend might cheat on your DD, pick up and STI and pass it on to her. However, this could happen at any stage in life, so I think that it's best to master that worry. What contraception your DD uses is a matter for her and her alone at the end of the day, you can just give her all the information to make an informed judgment, and it sounds like you're doing that by encouraging her to talk it through with the doctor.

Truckingfaffic · 19/12/2015 14:51

MrsGrady, did you read the OP?

I went because she wanted me to.

OP posts:
theredjellybean · 19/12/2015 14:52

yes yabsu
( s for so)
doctor gave correct medical advice and you want to complain

'he is happily letting her into the world of sexual relationships...'

good grief when exactly did it become the GPs responsibility that your DD wants to become sexual ?
Actually OP YOU are happily letting her into the world of sexual relationships....the doctor's responsibility is to ensure he or she gives the correct medical advice which is in the patients best interests.
presuming your dd is gillick competent and the gp had no reason to suspect she is being coerced or sexually abused they did the right thing.

really fed up with the public expecting GPs to be responsible for blooming everything !
where is personal and parental responsibility gone ????
maybe you ought to think about discussing with your dd the risks of stds instead of happily taking her off the doctor for the ocp then complaining when they give it her .

Sameshitdiffname · 19/12/2015 14:52

YABU if she's old enough to have sex she's old enough to know that the pill doesn't protect against STDs

The doctor isn't there to parent her, you are

Truckingfaffic · 19/12/2015 14:52

And where did I say I was complaining? I said I'd raise the issue that ain't complaining. Suggesting, maybe?

OP posts:
Truckingfaffic · 19/12/2015 14:54

Sameshit RTFOP

OP posts:
theycallmemellojello · 19/12/2015 14:54

Ah X-post, I see he didn't mention STIs. I actually don't think it's unreasonable to expect a doctor to tell a young person that they should make sure their partner is STI-checked before dispensing with condoms. This is quite an important public health issue, and it's all very well saying that parents should let their children know, but clearly STIs wouldn't be so rampant if this method of education was effective. Also, stop having a go at the OP -she's said that she has told her DD to use condoms, and presumably has had a conversation about the reasons why. Her complaint is that the doctor didn't mention this aspect of sexual safety. YANBU.

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