Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To disappointed with this doctor's comments and want to raise the issue with the practice?

159 replies

Truckingfaffic · 19/12/2015 14:29

Tool DD to the doctors to tall about getting the pill as sge wants to start having sex with BF.

Doctor's advice was to use extra precautions for first 7 days.

Surely he should be advising condom use AND pill? All the times we've spoken about things I've stressed the need for both. Always. She understands. Wgat if he's giving this advice to all?

AIBU?

OP posts:
PurpleHairAndPearls · 19/12/2015 16:31

Op, why did your DD ask you to go with her?

If they have no SN and they're mature enough to start a sexual relationship they shouldn't need a parent to accompany them, surely?

It's genuinely interesting to me as I have a DD with a SN that has previously required me to attend medical appts to "translate" for her. She is now at the age where she would like her privacy and will employ or ask the medical provider to provide a support worker/interpreter etc.

I of course do and will provide all the usual information and advice a parent would provide including how to protect against STIs but I feel it's inappropriate and intrusive for a parent to attend medical appointments of this nature if there is no SN. If they require the presence of a parent, they're not mature enough to have sex surely?

And YABU for all the reasons mentioned above.

lorelei9 · 19/12/2015 16:36

I'm with you OP - she should use both and I remember my doc telling me that at 17, as did my folks.

tbh I used both until my last relationship - even if she isn't worried about STDs or thinks the boy will be faithful/have regular checks etc, it's good to have back up with the Pill. Tbh that was my main reason - to add extra surety.

lorelei9 · 19/12/2015 16:38

PS I didn't take my folks to the doctor but I told them I was going on the Pill because I didn't want them to be in the dark IYSWIM.

Idefix · 19/12/2015 16:39

Yabu op.

There is a proliferation of leaflets/information available in most gp surgeries and online, in school etc

The advice the gp gave was 100% correct in relation to starting the pill and not be confused with the use of condoms to protect against sti.

I hope you have explored with dd the other ways in which sti are transmitted such as skin to skin (herpes, hpv- if not vaccinated) a condom is not a protection from all sti.

Oh and before you ask I have rtft Confused

lorelei9 · 19/12/2015 16:40

OP, just thought - your DD has read the leaflet and knows about things like if you are sick, or on antibiotics...one of my friends didn't know about the antibiotic thing at 40!

Creatureofthenight · 19/12/2015 16:40

I don't think the GP should be telling people to use two forms of contraceptive, that's a personal choice.
But it really wouldn't take much time or effort for the GP to have said something like, Just be aware that the pill doesn't protect you against STIs.

manamanah · 19/12/2015 16:42

You are being unreasonable and a number of other words I'm feeling too polite to call you. An apparently well informed young adult asks an doctor for a prescription for a medication designed to prevent pregnancy. The doctor prescribed medication along with advice that it will not be effective at preventing pregnancy for 7 days; so for those days an additional precaution is required. It is not the GP's responsibility to cover every potential adverse consequence of an activity and advise how to avoid them. You are looking for things to complain about.

bookishandblondish · 19/12/2015 16:44

STIs and knowledge - I worked in a country where the HIV prevalence was 33%.

I knew of three unplanned babies born to international HIV experts during my two year stint :)

Condoms are not good in long term relationships. It can be done but the exception rather than the rule. Harvard did an interesting trial of medical students - tended to break at the three month mark from memory ( accident, forgot to get supplies etc. This is now horrifically out of date but human behaviour is probably the same.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 16:48

Fairy, I didn't know anybody had to die to make anybody the thread police. Sounds a bit Hunger Games.

I'm expressing my opinion on your pointless question, as I am allowed to do.

Chippednailvarnish · 19/12/2015 16:52

It's not a pointless question, given the OPs attitude.

originalusernamefail · 19/12/2015 17:00

Did you make the appointment to discuss the pill or contraception OP. If I were the GP and you made an appointment to discuss the pill I would presume you had done your research and I would only advise you about the pill. If the appointment was for contraception I would ask/ advise about other methods too.

PreAdvent13610 · 19/12/2015 17:01

Did you go in to discuss contraceptive options, or to demand the pill?

The first would be likely to produce lots of useful information, the later may well lead to an assumption that as a pair, you and DD had discussed the ins and outs of various contraceptives.

Next time send your DD to see women's nurse alone. My DDs come back with lots of info and free condoms.

Original poster
Truckingfaffic · 19/12/2015 17:02

Why do you think, Fairy Caravan?

OP posts:
DinoSnores · 19/12/2015 17:11

"OP, just thought - your DD has read the leaflet and knows about things like if you are sick, or on antibiotics...one of my friends didn't know about the antibiotic thing at 40!"

lorelei9, there are only 2 antibiotics you need to be concerned about while using hormonal contraception, both of which are used very rarely. The antibiotics thing is pretty outdated.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception-guide/pages/antibiotics-contraception.aspx

That said, Truckingfaffic, I hope you are encouraging her to read the patient information leaflet. I've been reading a few online and they all point out that the pill doesn't protect against STDs.

For example, "Cerazette, like other hormonal contraceptives, does not protect against HIV infection
(AIDS) or any other sexually transmitted disease."
www.drugs.com/uk/cerazette-75-micrograms-tablets-leaflet.html

TheFairyCaravan · 19/12/2015 17:13

I don't know Trucking that's why I bloody asked, ffs!

DinoSnores · 19/12/2015 17:15

Yasmin: www.medicines.org.uk/emc/medicine/9028

"Yasmin, like other hormonal contraceptives, does not protect against HIV infection (AIDS) or any other sexually transmitted disease."

Microgynon 30: www.medicines.org.uk/emc/medicine/3440

The Pill will not protect you against sexually transmitted diseases...Microgynon 30 will not protect you against sexually transmitted infections, such as Chlamydia or HIV. Only condoms can help to do this.

I've got bored now so that will do.

(I'm on my 5th pregnancy in 6 years - what do you think I know about contraception?!) Xmas Wink

Original poster
Truckingfaffic · 19/12/2015 17:18

Because some in RL people know my username, and u don't particularly wabt then ti know about DD's sex life. Not rocket science.

OP posts:
Ohbehave1 · 19/12/2015 17:19

Yabu. It's covered in sex ed. and as a percent don't you think you should take at least some responsibility. And unless your DD has SN then I think that even if she asked you to go you aren't doing her any favours. Are you going to be there to make sure the condom is put on properly as well? Confused

thecitydoc · 19/12/2015 17:21

you are being very unreasonable. You went to see GP to get the pill not for contraceptive advice - you got what you asked for. GPs don't have time to offer advice on things patients don't ask for. Perhaps next time ask for what you want

FattieDoc · 19/12/2015 17:21

FFS- it's not the GP's job to educate a patient about every single bad thing that can happen!! They have 10 mins only. Why did you not just take her to the family planning clinic??
Do you think you could have done a better job in 10 mins( don't think so- you have had a few years already to educate your daughter!)
Complain???? Seriously??? Time complaining could be better spent talking to your daughter!

DinoSnores · 19/12/2015 17:23

So, OP, you are ignoring that your daughter has received the leaflet that you wanted her to get that told her that hormonal contraception doesn't protect from STDs? Just from the pharmacy, not the GP.

TheFairyCaravan · 19/12/2015 17:26

It might not be rocket science to you Trucking but most people on here try to be anonymous. I wasn't to know that people in RL know your username, but thank you for answering.

Sallystyle · 19/12/2015 17:31

Maybe as her parent you should be asking why she feels ready for having sex but still needs her DM to come to a doctor's appointment with her.

I think that is really unfair.

It's great that the OP and her dd are close enough to go together and that is not something that I think should be questioned.

I am 34 with children and a husband and I have taken my mum or husband to medical appointments with me. It doesn't mean the OP's dd isn't ready to have sex. Maybe she isn't, but she is doing it already so nothing wrong with wanting your mum there.

I am sure the OP's dd didn't need her mum there, but wanted her there. That doesn't mean she isn't ready to have sex. I can't believe that it has been turned into a negative thing that the OP went with her daughter.

pieceofpurplesky · 19/12/2015 17:34

Has OP said how old her dd is? Have I missed that bit?

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 19/12/2015 17:59

I really would have thought that this was standard advice.

I wouldn't complain about it but I'm surprised so many people think this wasn't the GP's place to have told the OP's DD this.