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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To msg a school Mum I don't know

415 replies

Hackedabove · 18/12/2015 06:27

Regarding her posting a video of the school carol service on FB?

She has tagged in one of my friends so it's come up on my news feed. I'm shocked as it shows loads of them. Probably can't see mine but only because they were hidden.

I was thinking a gentle do you know it's totally unacceptable?

Or email the class rep so a blanket email goes out to all classes via the class reps?

Or contact the school and let them deal with it?

OP posts:
QueenC · 18/12/2015 08:08

Don't contact her but contact the school. I did this last year. It's a safeguarding issue and school will take it very seriously. There are children out there that for various reasons shouldn't be plastered over social media for all to see.
I'm suprised that its only an unspoken rule. At our school it's the council that have set such rules and photos and videos should be for personal use only.

ginmakesitallok · 18/12/2015 08:09

If there were any safeguarding concerns then the school would make it clear that no pics/videos were allowed. As they haven't I would assume that there are no concerns.

SaucyJack · 18/12/2015 08:10

Contact the school if you think it's a concern.

We have a pair of adopted sibs at my DDs school so everyone is shit hot on it at ours.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 08:12

Lots of videos/photos on social media from parents at our school confused
No one seems to mind.

No one in the real world minds.

Goingtobeawesome · 18/12/2015 08:13

We've recently had our nativity. On the front of the programme there was a note not to film or take photos out of respect for other parents choices. Still people filmed and took photos. It really pisses me off. I am gutted I couldn't film my son, it is his last one, but I know there is a child who isn't allowed to be photographed so I respect the request.

RalphSteadmansEye · 18/12/2015 08:13

A primary school local to me (and at which I know a few children) has a massive social media presence: Facebook and Twitter accounts bursting with photos and videos of lots of children taken by the school. I think it's really over the top and weird but concluded that they must be careful about permission and who they show etc etc or must have no children with the sorts of safeguarding concerns mentioned above.

Then, this week, a video showed up on my fb feed (because a friend liked it) of one of their children up on stage at the city panto doing that singing bit at the end - and they'd included the footage of two other children on stage saying their names and ages from two DIFFERENT schools!

I've now concluded this school knows nothing about safeguarding.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 18/12/2015 08:16

Tali no one in the real world minds?

Like you'd know that for a fact?🙄

LittleLionMansMummy · 18/12/2015 08:16

Op if it's an 'unspoken' rule I am not sure what recourse you have. I would probably raise concerns to the school about their 'policy' to prevent it happening again though. Our school is clear that parents can take photos and videos but are expected not to share on FB.

Bala - dsis has a closed group for photos of her adopted sons precisely because their birth parents are known to live quite locally and want the boys back. She'd be fuming if one of the other parents took it upon themselves to post photos of them, and rightly so.

SmellyFartado · 18/12/2015 08:18

Tali are you for real?

As a parent, I'd totally fucking mind if a video or images of my children were being shared on social media. I live in the real world, do you?

Alicewasinwonderland · 18/12/2015 08:18

Whilst I understand the concerns, I do not understand why this is only an unspoken rule.

I would email the school. They should have reminded parents, not everybody realises the problem of sharing on social media. Sometimes there is really no malice involved.

Reading about various subjects on this forum proves that common sense is rarer than you imagine. It's a shame if parents end up being banned from filming because of others.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 08:19

SanDiego

A minority of OTT people do. The vast majority of sensible people who aren't paranoid do not

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 08:19

Smelly then perhaps you are paranoid.

I don't mind if people take photos of DS.

happystory · 18/12/2015 08:20

I currently work in two schools and believe me, people in the real world DO mind

TeenAndTween · 18/12/2015 08:21

Tali I live in the real world and I mind!

SmellyFartado · 18/12/2015 08:22

I'd rather be paranoid frankly than be naive Tali

HoobleDooble · 18/12/2015 08:23

Our school has said no to photos and videos at the nativity for the first time this year, you'd have thought they'd sent a text saying they were going to disembowel the children by the way some parents reacted. I personally was quite glad of it, after being forced to watch the harvest festival on the screen of some inconsiderate tit in front of me, holding her phone up to film the entire thing (I hope she enjoyed my deliberate out of tune singing, and the in depth discussion about my dad's piles we had on the recording).

i tried talking to a couple of them about the safeguarding issues, but I don't think they quite got it, some people do truly live in a bubble full of their own wants!

bigbadbarry · 18/12/2015 08:25

Tali I have two friends with adopted children. They mind.

happystory · 18/12/2015 08:25

Well done hooble Grin

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 18/12/2015 08:27

No one in the real world minds.

I live in the real world, and I mind, I mind a lot.

One slip up on social media means my controlling, abusive ex will find me and probably kill me.

I would list all the sneaky ways he has tried to find us so far but they are very identifiable, but you would be shocked at the lengths he has gone to so far.

Forgive me for being OTT when it comes down to my children and I getting hurt.

It is terrifying that you worked in a school and want to be a teacher Tali you would have no clue how to protect my children.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 18/12/2015 08:28

I wouldn't mind if my kids had been on social media.

However, I do work in a primary school, have been in 4 other schools as a parent and worker over the years and know there are lots of parents who wouldn't want children to be filmed or photographed.

Tali your opinion is your own but you don't actually know the vast majority of parents, no one person does.

Enjolrass · 18/12/2015 08:30

Tali that's up to you.

I do t put photos of my children on my accounts, I don't want other people to either. That's my decision

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 18/12/2015 08:30

Tali a wannabe Teacher?

Okay.

reni2 · 18/12/2015 08:35

I would contact the HT. I personally don't mind having them up, but most schools will have some vulnerable children, they might live in a refuge, have a violent parent, adopted children... These children should not be photographed, tagged and spread on social media, the HT will be aware of them, the oversharing parent won't.

Ipsos · 18/12/2015 08:35

Our school told us explicitly that no photos or videos should go on social media and anyone who took a photo had to sign a form to say that they would comply. I think it's okay to crop out a photo of just your own child and post on facebook, but that's all.

Helmetbymidnight · 18/12/2015 08:42

Don't msg, she won't listen from you.

Let the school know.