To msg a school Mum I don't know

[Hackedabove]

Regarding her posting a video of the school carol service on FB?

She has tagged in one of my friends so it's come up on my news feed. I'm shocked as it shows loads of them. Probably can't see mine but only because they were hidden.

I was thinking a gentle do you know it's totally unacceptable?

Or email the class rep so a blanket email goes out to all classes via the class reps?

Or contact the school and let them deal with it?

Amazing how the world has changed in such a short space of time. The idea that your whole world could be crushed by not being able to video and photograph every minute of your child's life and share it with acquaintances is astonishing to me. Just a few years ago my DC went to a primary school where we were never allowed to take any photos or videos, and the alleged official video rarely materialised (I was convinced the old duffer operating the camera didn't have a clue how to work it). My life was not crushed. I also know how to set my FB settings so that I don't share my life with total strangers.

ArgyMargy I agree - but for example my situation was different from my children's. When I was little there were no camera phones, no internet (and not many video cameras but my school had fewer than 200 pupils so there was plenty of space for parents/grandparents/whoever to watch the performance and my family all lived within a reasonable distance.

My DD's school has grown a lot in recent years but the hall, of course, hasn't expanded so there's a strict limit of 2 adults per child at the single performance. Grandparents live hundreds of miles away and it's easy for them to watch a recording than travel (even if they were allowed in).

Although we recorded DD's nativity I'd never post it online for all the reasons given above. As the HT announced, it's for personal use. I've no idea if there are any children at risk in DD's year because there's no need for me to know.

I email video clips to family. The internet is the wild west, the technology had developed at such a pace we've not had time to really get rules in place or know the full consequences.

Have just RTFT and am gobsmacked by the selfishness and downright stupidity of some posters.

Tali despite having the complexities and dangers explained to you several times, you are standing by your comment that it's 'OTT', 'precious' and that it doesn't really matter because it's unlikely and just a minority of children. Well, it matters for the minority of children and not many people will know they're at risk. The rules are there to protect those children. It might be OTT for the other 29 children in the class but for that one child the consequences are terrifying. And believe me, it does happen. Why would you be happy to risk that becoming a reality, well the mind boggles.

I think you do know this but you're just arguing now for the sake of it, because you don't want to admit you're wrong or that you have underestimated the severity of the situation for children who are at risk. I hope that anyway.

I don't have a school age child yet but I wouldn't dream of putting photos or videos of other people's children up on social media.
if people want to get a photo of their DC in their costume or crop out all of the other kids on stage and share it then that is up to them. Hardly traumatic or even mildly irritating to not be able to share a photo of your DCs entire class, is it.

The other thing that worries me - when one of my kids does something cute or embarrassing at the nativity or a carol service - like sing hugely out of tune or sticking their finger up their nose or pulling their dress up, or shouting "hello Daddy!" in a loud toddler voice....Thats his moment, a private moment, a sweet moment in his/her history. I dont want that cute thing going viral, I dont want everyone sharing it so that s/he will be humiliated in the future when that clip turns up on the internet when s/he is 15.

Taking video and putting on the internet - once its out there, its out there for all to see.

It amazes me that some people think their desire to put something on Facebook trumps other parents wishes.

It also amazes me that some think their desire to put something on Facebook is more important than someone trying to protect their child.

I can't help thinking that if their child was at risk, they would feel very differently

I agree, Enjolrass. I also wonder why people see it as "them and us" as if vulnerable children and their carers and parents are a totally different sort.

Everybody can become vulnerable, many victims of stalkers, many adopters as well as ex-partners of abusers have at some point been blissfully unaware how precarious life can be.

reni couldn't agree more.

Some People don't realise that you could become a vulnerable person at the drop of hat.

They also think cases like this are rare. Because no one they know is that boat. It's not rare and often people on these positions don't talk about it. It possible they do know someone who is vulnerable, but the person just doesn't tell anyone.

I know someone who challenged the school, took photos, distributed copies and shared photos on fb arguing how the minority shouldn't spoil it for her family and they did have the right to have memories to look back upon.

They have now adopted a child and how their position has changed, very anti fb - obviously never thought they may at some point be that family at risk!!!!!

There are always people who come on these threads to argue the toss. Toss-arguers, if you will. Or tossers for short

I'm the OP and just thought I'd update that after Christmas a school admin member did talk to me about posting things on FB but they were looking into whether they could use their publishing rights or something as an excuse for no posting on FB. They decided they couldn't?! But would emphasise that they allow photos and videos only on the understanding they're not shared on social media.

They didn't mention it at the next big school thing but they did at the last Christmas carol service which started all this. I gave an inward cheer

We have some very vulnerable looked after children at a school in our town (one member of the birth family attempted to abduct one of them :( ) and yet still some assholes decided that their "right" to share a video (that they were asked not to film in the first place) was more important than the safety of those kids. It turned out that the reason the family member knew what school they were at was through FB stalking/searching that turned up pics/vids. The school had to ban all devices as a result when up until recently it was ok to take pictures of your own kids at the end of the show.

Glad that you have made a difference, and sad that you should need to, that some people are so thick and selfish that they need to be told the bleeding obvious.

People are very selfish.

The school is a private primary so probably not loads of vulnerable looked after children, but I think it makes no difference, there could still be children not in contact with their extended families etc etc

I did witness the selfishness of the parents at a local music festival the children were singing. They clearly state no photos/ video, and I saw mums from school taking photos... they also said after the performance please don't record and loads of mums had been. It was a grey area, but they said they would disqualify a choir if there was recoding during it. I thought that a little harsh since the choir can't help what the audience do.

But the longer I have school age children the more I see there will always be some who the rules don't apply to. As a staunch rule abider I just hoike up my judgy pants and walk on by.

Our school puts lots of photos and videos on their Facebook page as public so I share away because it's already out there

But you must have to sign to agree to that?