Mother wants to bring a chicken to my vegetarian Christmas dinner

[queenofthepirates]

That's kind of it in a nutshell. We've invited 10 people over for Christmas dinner including my mother. We're veggies and I've put together a lovely Scandi veggie menu. She's told me she's bringing a chicken and I've said please don't. Firstly because we're veggie and I don't really want a dead bird on the table and secondly I can't see why she can't last a few hours without meat.

My relationship with her is very strained this year, she's been pretty horrible to me and I'm getting to the end of my tether.

AIBU to tell her not to bring meat or stay at home? She could always come over after lunch if she's going to insist.

Off topic, but can I hear about your menu? Always on the look out for good veggie occasion food.

My Dh is vegi and a dead bird on the table wouldn't bother him as long as he didn't have to eat it. But plenty of vegetarians feel differently and im guessing you're one?

In which case it would be awful of your mum to bring a chicken. Even the smell of it cooking would be bad for some vegetarians. Plus oven room needed, and chicken juice spitting over the place.

Could she cook it at hers the day before and cut a few slices off, bring the slices with her and reheat?

It is a bit rude, but I can see her side. Any other meal I would quite happily eat veggie food with no issues, however Xmas dinner isn't the same without turkey/chicken imho.

Be clear with her. If she wants to eat chicken, she can eat it in her house.

It so SPECTACULARLY rude to snub a host's food when you've been invited.

Stick to your guns love. She's not too old to learn some manners!

I'm having lamb. If any of my guests think it isn't Christmas without poultry they can eat at home.

If she's so disappointed about not getting to eat chicken with her meal she can stay at home, surely? What's all this 'your poor mum' nonsense?

Why doesn't she fill her boots on a bacon butty before she arrives and act like a proper guest and enjoy what sounds like a delicious dinner?

PS what's on your menu? it sounds excellent

I'm intensely ignorant dismissive of vegetarians and even I think your mum is being rude.

Dead bird on table with a bunch of carrot crunchers - not nice

She's being ridiculous. I'd love a vegetarian christmas dinner. It'd be something new and different and delicious.

Tell her to have sausages for breakfast to MEAT UP and have her chicken the next day.

If it's so important for her to have meat with her Christmas dinner then why would she accept an invitation from veggie hosts? Agree with previous posters that this is more about your Mum being controlling than it is about mood.

Food not mood, bloody phone

I think to an extent you are being unreasonable. If you were going to hers for Xmas dinner would you expect her to accommodate your vegetarian needs? If so then you should accommodate your meat eating guests or allow them to bring their own meet. I agree though it shouldn't be placed on the table if you yourself are vegetarian. In the kitchen though and sliced and served onto any plates there.

She's planning to bring a whole chicken just for herself?

I think it's rude to bring your own food unless of course you have proper diagnosed allergies.
However would you take your own food to your mothers if she was having a meat bonanza?
No one is going to win this battle so maybe find a compromise?

I would first like to check that she did know it would be veggie food for Christmas day when the invite was extended and accepted - assuming so, YANBU, she is perfectly entitled to want a traditional (meat) christmas dinner, she's just not entitled to insist on it in someone else's house who doesnt eat meat. She can eat meat elsewhere and then come over to you if it matters so much.

I would say, if she's anything like my mother, she'll make comments throughout the meal and whole fucking day if anything isn't quite to her view of what Christmas dinner should be. Best all round if you see her Boxing Day instead...

As much as you don't wish to cater for your non-veggie Mother, I assume if you go for dinner with a carnivore, you won't expect them to cater for your vegetarianism?

She doesn't need to put the chicken on the table - just slice in the kitchen. Personally I can't imagine Christmas Day lunch without turkey/chicken.

Sorry, but Xmas dinner without some poultry is just not on, but I wouldn't have accepted your invite to a meat free meal in the first place.

If I couldn't have brought a chicken or similar, I just would not attend!

The difference between catering for a veggie and catering for a non veggie is that a non veggie can eat everything served at a veggie meal. They aren't mirror image situations.

I am veggie and don't allow meat or fish to be cooked in the house usually, but what if she brought some sliced chicken on one of her own plates for her Christmas dinner? That wouldn't bother me too much.

tell her to stay at home then !

I'm intrigued to know the contents of your Scandi veggie Christmas dinner. I live in Scandinavia and in my experience you're more likely to find a unicorn roaming the forests than a vegetable on a julbord (Christmas dinner). It's a buffet of every fish and meat imaginable. The one I was at on Sunday had around 50 different 'meats'.

It's Christmas dinner,

I could understand if she was demanding you rear pluck, stuff, cook & serve up a chicken / turkey purely for her needs but seriously don't think bringing her own is that offensive.

No different from someone say who drinks Bacardi when the norm is vodka bringing their own to make sure they actually consume something they enjoy,

All this going meat free for one meal won't hurt,
It's not just any meal it's Christmas dinner.....

It's about everyone having individual needs not just yours or just hers.

Surely to feck you can compromise,
Number one priority should be fellowship & the people round the table not what's on it ( or the plates )

I'm truly shocked that some people can't last five minutes without meat! And as for Christmas dinner without poultry being 'not on' - that's just beyond odd! We never have poultry - always beef - but that's our choice. I can't imagine judging anyone for their choice of Christmas food.

I think it's really rude to bring your own food when you are invited for a meal (unless e.g. you have a serious allergy that the host is unable to cater for).

And I say that as a massive carnivore.

If she does not wish to eat what is on offer for her, she needs to stay at home.

I sense she is just doing this for some sort of power thing though, right?

Oh, let her bring the chicken, sort it out on to her plate herself and eat it (or even on a plate she brings herself if you don't want meat on yours). Life is far too short to be fussing over things like this. Sounds like there are far more important issues to sort out with her than meat.