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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother wants to bring a chicken to my vegetarian Christmas dinner

807 replies

queenofthepirates · 17/12/2015 20:41

That's kind of it in a nutshell. We've invited 10 people over for Christmas dinner including my mother. We're veggies and I've put together a lovely Scandi veggie menu. She's told me she's bringing a chicken and I've said please don't. Firstly because we're veggie and I don't really want a dead bird on the table and secondly I can't see why she can't last a few hours without meat.

My relationship with her is very strained this year, she's been pretty horrible to me and I'm getting to the end of my tether.

AIBU to tell her not to bring meat or stay at home? She could always come over after lunch if she's going to insist.

OP posts:
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unicorn501 · 21/12/2015 22:13

As a veggie I've put up with some bloody awful meals, Christmas and otherwise, just for the sake of the company. The Christmas when SIL poured pork gravy all over my dinner, and I just smiled and scraped it off. My dear old grandma serving a horrible microwave veggie lasagne on the plate alongside all the usual Christmas trimmings. Last minute Quorn sausages thrown on the plate. Let alone all the "gastropubs" where I've put up with some kind of cheese bake for a tenner because it's where everyone else wants to go and the steaks are amazing. When you go for a meal, whether at someone's house or in a restaurant, surely it's the company that is more important.

Personally I wouldn't mind someone bringing meat as long as I don't have to cook it, but lots of veggies don't feel that way. It won't hurt the OP's mum to put up with something that isn't necessarily her favourite food for the sake of having a nice Christmas with her daughter.

MarianneSolong · 21/12/2015 22:20

Read that last bit as 'a nice Christmas with her slaughter.'

Time for bed, I think...

janethegirl2 · 21/12/2015 22:23

No bird, no Xmas in my life, sorry but that is my view and I ain't changing it for anyone, end off!!

SuburbanRhonda · 21/12/2015 22:29

Oh, go on, jane, at least extend it to four-legged creatures. Otherwise it's just unfair Grin

merryxmas9 · 21/12/2015 23:18

those saying don't you eat out at restaurants, you are talking rubbish. I am vegan and will go to nandos and toby carvery but would NEVER allow meat in my house...

Wilma123 · 22/12/2015 00:05

Would u eat meat at her house? Or would u expect a veggie option
Same thing in my mind Hmm

Original poster
queenofthepirates · 22/12/2015 00:17

Can't believe this is still going .....

And not one of you meat eaters has volunteered to have her over at your place for Christmas yet Grin

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 22/12/2015 00:21

She would be welcome at mine! In fact I suspect that she would fit right in, sadly.

derxa · 22/12/2015 00:25

Let the poor woman have a bit of chicken a whole bloody carcase

derxa · 22/12/2015 00:26

she could eat it in the shed.

BertrandRussell · 22/12/2015 07:29

So would she just eat the chicken? Nothing else?

derxa · 22/12/2015 08:04

I recommend she just eats chicken.

WeThreeMythicalKings · 22/12/2015 08:06

She probably hated last year's meal and doesn't want a repeat of inedible food on Christmas day.

Sansoora · 22/12/2015 08:22

She probably hated last year's meal and doesn't want a repeat of inedible food on Christmas day.

I think this is a big part of the problem. Not that I think she hated last years meal or it was inedible. Just that she didn't really like it but managed to eat it and doesn't want to have to do it again. Its really not too much to ask that you can enjoy your dinner on Christmas Day.

Hissy · 22/12/2015 08:43

Think you'll all find that THIS is the issue, not the chicken :

TBH, I'm tired of being screamed at by my mother, she's been unkind to me for a long time and I'm putting my foot down over this meal.

This is a battle drawn by he mother, not the daughter. A firm word is exactly what's needed here, or she needn't come.

originalmavis · 22/12/2015 08:58

Christmas day really isn't the day to draw battle lines.

BertrandRussell · 22/12/2015 09:00

I'm fascinated by the anti vegetarians/vegetarian food feeling- it's utterly bizarre! When vegetarian friends have told me similar stories I confess I took them with a pinch of salt. Maybe I should be more sympathetic from now on!

originalmavis · 22/12/2015 09:04

I've never known a veggie to be squeamish over meat. Meaties over raw or cute meat yes, but not veggies.

Greydog · 22/12/2015 09:54

Hissy - you are so right, but everyone has ignored that, just concentrating on the "let her eat meat" - and ignored the mothers nastiness. If this were a MIL, it'd be a whole new story.

noeffingidea · 22/12/2015 09:59

greydog it's not being ignored ,it's just hearing one side of the story.

Ratarse · 22/12/2015 10:07

I think I'd now tell her, 'look mum, let's just make this easier for everyone, just come up after Christmas dinner'. She can take it or leave it then, let her be Hannibal Lecter at home instead.

If you're invited to a meal you DO NOT bring your own food, if you don't like it you politely refuse the invitation. This is basic, simple manners. What is wrong with you people crying about eating meat?

OnlyLovers · 22/12/2015 10:15

I mean I eat roast dinners, which is pretty much like a Christmas meal. So what? Does that mean I should not want a traditional Christmas meal?

She IS getting a traditional Christmas meal. And then she's getting another, different meal, made and hosted by her daughter.

I've never known a veggie to be squeamish over meat. Have you not met many? I find this fairly usual among vegetarians. And even if you don't know anyone personally who feels like this, is it that difficult to imagine that someone might?

Just that she didn't really like it but managed to eat it. Managed to eat it? What a brave hero.What a martyr. What was it, shit in a wrap? Why are people talking as though a meal without meat is akin to nuclear waste?

Its really not too much to ask that you can enjoy your dinner on Christmas Day. I don't think it's too much to ask that people eat the food someone has bothered to prepare for them, smile and say thank you.

Christ I'm glad I don't know anyone as babyish and rude as this in RL.

SwedishEdith · 28/12/2015 12:13

So, what happened in the end?

TheMaddHugger · 28/12/2015 13:38

I messaged her so I hope she see that :)

originalmavis · 28/12/2015 18:23

Only - nope, I've really never met a squeemish vegetarian or vegan, only meat eaters.

I know people can be, like some people faint at the he sight if blood, but during 30 years of being a vegetarian, a member of the vegetarian society and anti vivisection league, I have never ever met a squeemish vegetarian. Maybe it's the images of animals being tested on, skinned for fur, intensively farmed or bred to death that desensitises us to a nicely packaged pork chop.

My veggie Christmas meal was lovely.