To feel incensed by the woman who gave me daggers today

[lill72]

I took my 5 year old to a Christmas carols concert at the Royal Albert Hall today. Lots of children go, as it is a singalong. There are also lots of older people there. We were sitting just behind a group of women in the 60's. My DD accidentally kicked the back of the seat of one women. I could not believe the daggers the woman gave me. She turned around and I tried to explain I was doing my best to stop DD from doing this. She just kept staring at me, trying to show her utmost disapproval. She did not mutter a word. ONLY STARED.This was when she did it once. My daughter then did it once more just brushing her feet, again, by accident and the woman turned and did the stare. It was mean and it was ugly.

After interval, I put my programme in front of me so she could not make eye contact with me. My DD unfortunately brushed the seat again as she was a bit restless. the lady turned but she could not make eye contact. I thought I am not giving you the satisfaction miserable old git.

I get it. It is annoying when someone hits your seat. But she was really awful the first time it happened. As my daughter was doing it by accident when she moved it is very hard for me to control. It really upset me soneone could be so harsh when it's an all ages xmas singalong which is supposed to be joyous and bring love and the Christmas spirit into your heart. I feel like sometimes people have forgotten what it is like to be a child or have children.

After this, I did everything I could to stop DD doing it again.

This woman kind of ruined my afternoon. I try my utmost to have a well behaved daughter and I am always aware of others around me, so much so that I probably apologise too much for things I do. I just find this sort of behaviour from this woman so nasty and bereft of any sort of forgiveness for the fact it was a child. I think of anyone, this woman was the one with the appalling behaviour.

The other woman around me were lovely.

Look. It’s really very simple. You got daggers because your child misbehaved.

If your child is not old enough or mature enough or well behaved enough to sit politely during a public concert without disturbing other patrons – kicking, for goodness’ sake! – then you shouldn’t be taking them to such things. Whatever happened to making children behave properly in public? Some parents’ entitlement is just staggering. Make them behave or keep them at home, then you won't get daggers!

I think it's fairly safe to say the women did not have any of these back conditions as turning and I assume looking up to the op for the ten seconds would be bloody agony for me. Your back has to be in pretty good condition to make that move in a theatre seat.

Seems this woman isn't a one off

Some posters are deliberately misunderstanding the OP for some very strange reason. There is a difference between allowing a child to kick constantly (unacceptable) and stopping it once the child has done it once (absolutely fine). I thought I was too intolerant of bad behaviour until I saw the answers to this thread.

Your daughter KICKED someone's seat at least 3 times, and you're upset by being LOOKED at? FFS grow up.

Mutlishirking I love your Daily Express style capitalisation to convey the utter horror you feel

You speak sense Raskolnikovs (and have a fab name)

I HATE having the back of my chair kicked on a plane, at the cinema or theatre etc.

I'll bet a pound to a penny that the 'three small brushes of the back of her seat' was considerably more.

I think you should have said sorry the first time it happened. I don't agree with make them behave or keep them home because this means that some members of society would never go out because their behaviour would never be considered good enough although they may enjoy the event.

Yes, Fanjo, horror. Am muktishirking in bed on phone. Am terrible writer on phone.

I also remember a 12 hour overnight flight with small biy kicking my seat every time I drifted off to vaguely sleeping state. I asked his Mother to stop him kicking. Her unpleasant and aggressive " He can't help it. He's only 6" and her lack of any further parenting is still a vivid memory. I was pretty shit in my meeting the next day.

Honking. .she did try to apologise and explain

I think this story is growing legs and running. People are responding to later accusations rather than the OP

Thanks Fanjo, your posts always do too. And thanks, always nice to see a fellow Dostoevsky fan!

Multi I need to see your Daily Express sadface now

All children do not kick seats at some point. My dd is a teenager and has never kicked anyone's seat.

OP I agree it sounds like she over reacted when she turned round at the first kick. Sounds like something my mother would do, she has no tolerance for other people, can't stand her personal space being invaded and would have turned round and given you a death stare. All you can do at that stage is apoligise and do everything you can to stop your dd doing it again.

And it does sound like it continued. You say your dd "brushed" the seat more times. Which made the lady turn. Which is suprising as you don't feel a seat being brushed, so maybe it was a bit more forceful than you realised. Id have found that very annoying.

Would you rather she had said something than stared? If she had done would you not now just be complaining that she had said something to you?

Can't do it on phone. And no-one (not even you) needs to see my wake up no make up selfie.

But then, I'm nearer to 60 than 50, so clearly by MN standards, I'm an old git, a miserable hag, and all the other acceptable ways to refer to post-menopausal women on MN. Because really, what is the point of us?

Maybe the woman had a hidden disability? My friend (40s - not an old hag) would be in agony if her chair was kicked, so would my mum (70s - I would go apeshit if you called her an old hag). Or do we only have to consider children who might have a disability. Maybe she could have explained - or maybe she feels (like many MNers) that it is not her job to educate people.

Or maybe she really was just miserable!

Aww I am a big fan of the post menopausal lady. Although that sounds like a fetish

Must be a joke. Your dd repeatly kicked a ladies chair and you cross with her. Why didnt you apologise to her and tell your dd not to do it again. Yabvvvvu

She did do those things.

And her DD didnt repeatedly kick the chair.

Wow. Someone looks disapprovingly at your child is disrupting their enjoyment of a concert. What a cow

You have no idea what the supposed "light brush with a shoe" felt like from her side.

You need to get over it and let it go...

You do know someone kicking the back of a chair would cause some people real pain. If you are already in pain, this would simply make it much worse. Some people seem to have no idea how their children's actions affect others.

And her DD didnt repeatedly kick the chair.

Well, yes she did as she did it and then repeated it. And then repeated it again. And possibly some other times the OP didn't notice before the woman turned round the "first" time.

"This woman kind of ruined my afternoon."

And you and your child kind of ruined hers. I'm also willing to bet that your child kicked the seat more than once. I am well aware that when people are settling into their seats some kicking will happen, but if it continues it is so annoying.

The seating at Sheffield arena is very cramped and when I took DD to see Balamory when she was little she kicked the seat in front. I directed my annoyance at DD not the poor person in front who was having their seat kicked.