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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel incensed by the woman who gave me daggers today

331 replies

lill72 · 13/12/2015 23:32

I took my 5 year old to a Christmas carols concert at the Royal Albert Hall today. Lots of children go, as it is a singalong. There are also lots of older people there. We were sitting just behind a group of women in the 60's. My DD accidentally kicked the back of the seat of one women. I could not believe the daggers the woman gave me. She turned around and I tried to explain I was doing my best to stop DD from doing this. She just kept staring at me, trying to show her utmost disapproval. She did not mutter a word. ONLY STARED.This was when she did it once. My daughter then did it once more just brushing her feet, again, by accident and the woman turned and did the stare. It was mean and it was ugly.

After interval, I put my programme in front of me so she could not make eye contact with me. My DD unfortunately brushed the seat again as she was a bit restless. the lady turned but she could not make eye contact. I thought I am not giving you the satisfaction miserable old git.

I get it. It is annoying when someone hits your seat. But she was really awful the first time it happened. As my daughter was doing it by accident when she moved it is very hard for me to control. It really upset me soneone could be so harsh when it's an all ages xmas singalong which is supposed to be joyous and bring love and the Christmas spirit into your heart. I feel like sometimes people have forgotten what it is like to be a child or have children.

After this, I did everything I could to stop DD doing it again.

This woman kind of ruined my afternoon. I try my utmost to have a well behaved daughter and I am always aware of others around me, so much so that I probably apologise too much for things I do. I just find this sort of behaviour from this woman so nasty and bereft of any sort of forgiveness for the fact it was a child. I think of anyone, this woman was the one with the appalling behaviour.

The other woman around me were lovely.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/12/2015 19:59

And I am on my phone in cinema ..I have no shame. It's the adverts though

CainInThePunting · 15/12/2015 20:18

Well, you are quite right; I've not listened to a word you said. I did however, read everything you wrote and formed my opinion based on that.

As a PP said upthread, holding the programme up so you could more successfully ignore the complaints of the poor lady in front of you doesn't imply you were doing all you could to prevent her discomfort.

Your DD doesn't stand a chance with that kind of example set.

Selinemaratima · 15/12/2015 20:49

Ooooo cain I bet your kids are like the Von Trapp's, please write is all a pocket book that we can pop in our handbags so we can ever-follow in your holy maternal footsteps ... How many children did you say you had?

LyndaNotLinda · 15/12/2015 21:12

I have 6 children Seline. Does that qualify me to comment on the OP's lack of apology and inability to manage her child's behaviour? Is there a minimum number we need to be able to comment?

PartridgeFairysparkles · 15/12/2015 21:16

I hear you, OP. It's really hard for them to not touch the seat in front when they have long but little legs that stick out when they sit on that type of seat.

Perhaps that very slight touch on the back of the chair was enough movement to make her bumgrapes hurt, OP Grin

Selinemaratima · 15/12/2015 21:25

Lynda I never mentioned anyone needing a pre-requisite number of children to comment on anything, it's clear that we all say what we like on here really. Although you didn't make the awful comment that the OP's daughter doesn't stand a chance, did you? Given Cains self-riteous statements and advice on raising the OP's child, it's reasonable that one would assume she's is mother of the Von Trapp's Confused

Sleepingtom · 15/12/2015 21:26

I sympathise OP. A ballet performance I took DD was similarly marred by a bratty 10 year old who couldn't remember being five. But she was a child herself and the lady should have been kinder or not gone ti an all ages carols concert!

CainInThePunting · 15/12/2015 23:52

Ooooo cain I bet your kids are like the Von Trapp's, please write is all a pocket book that we can pop in our handbags so we can ever-follow in your holy maternal footsteps ... How many children did you say you had?

A little childish no?

KakiFruit · 16/12/2015 07:53

Sleepingtom your night out was "marred" by your child kicking someone else's seat, and they're the ones who should have stayed home? Hmm

Toffeelatteplease · 16/12/2015 09:11

I'm waiting for the deletion of that post

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/12/2015 09:23

OngoldenPond has it in a nutshell.

So many crabbit people around.

MitzyLeFrouf · 16/12/2015 10:09

Including the OP

MultishirkingAgain · 16/12/2015 10:53

So, sleepingtom it's an "all ages" concert, but only if you're not an "old lady"? Old people should not go out in public, or if they do, they should not expect to be treated with normal courtesy, according to your logic.

Can't some of you see how hypocritical your ageism is?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/12/2015 11:30

No wonder the OP feels crabby now.

GoblinLittleOwl · 16/12/2015 18:11

You couldn't stop your child 'accidentally' kicking the seat in front of her, four times? Then you shouldn't take her to a concert, or anywhere else in public, until she learns how to behave.

The unfortunate lady in front of you was remarkably restrained in her behaviour; what a pity your daughter wasn't.

Littleonesaid · 16/12/2015 18:19

I think she WBU for glaring at first kick, but 3 kicks later she would have been well within her glaring rights.

At that stage YWBU not to apologise, and ensure your daughter kept her feet to herself. I hope you told your DD off?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/12/2015 19:12

Even the woman who was kicked will have forgotten about it by this stage.

kali110 · 17/12/2015 01:34

multi yes older people and people with invisible disabilities should not go out just incase according to some posters Hmm

IloveAntbuthateDec · 17/12/2015 01:43

Ugh! There is nothing worse than paying a fortune for theatre tickets and having some bratty child kick your seat all the way through the performance. Why parents take young children to the theatre and then object when someone makes it clear that they are pissed off with the kicking and/or noise your child makes is baffling!

Brioche201 · 17/12/2015 03:54

Your DC is 5 not a toddler. She should be able to control herself better by now

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/12/2015 07:24

She is probably 8 now

pictish · 17/12/2015 07:45

All these perfect parents whose flawless children never do a single thing wrong, by accident or otherwise. Even at the age of 5.
I feel like I'm in the presence of angels. It's so beautiful I might cry.

gandalf456 · 17/12/2015 08:14
Wine
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 18/12/2015 16:16

Just went to a relaxed performance of the ballet. People were shouting, flapping, kicking seats and standing up.

It was a really nice atmosphere.

Some people on this thread could do with attending one just to reassess their priorities in life a bit.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 18/12/2015 16:19

Fanjo, you seem rather overinvested in this thread.