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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel incensed by the woman who gave me daggers today

331 replies

lill72 · 13/12/2015 23:32

I took my 5 year old to a Christmas carols concert at the Royal Albert Hall today. Lots of children go, as it is a singalong. There are also lots of older people there. We were sitting just behind a group of women in the 60's. My DD accidentally kicked the back of the seat of one women. I could not believe the daggers the woman gave me. She turned around and I tried to explain I was doing my best to stop DD from doing this. She just kept staring at me, trying to show her utmost disapproval. She did not mutter a word. ONLY STARED.This was when she did it once. My daughter then did it once more just brushing her feet, again, by accident and the woman turned and did the stare. It was mean and it was ugly.

After interval, I put my programme in front of me so she could not make eye contact with me. My DD unfortunately brushed the seat again as she was a bit restless. the lady turned but she could not make eye contact. I thought I am not giving you the satisfaction miserable old git.

I get it. It is annoying when someone hits your seat. But she was really awful the first time it happened. As my daughter was doing it by accident when she moved it is very hard for me to control. It really upset me soneone could be so harsh when it's an all ages xmas singalong which is supposed to be joyous and bring love and the Christmas spirit into your heart. I feel like sometimes people have forgotten what it is like to be a child or have children.

After this, I did everything I could to stop DD doing it again.

This woman kind of ruined my afternoon. I try my utmost to have a well behaved daughter and I am always aware of others around me, so much so that I probably apologise too much for things I do. I just find this sort of behaviour from this woman so nasty and bereft of any sort of forgiveness for the fact it was a child. I think of anyone, this woman was the one with the appalling behaviour.

The other woman around me were lovely.

OP posts:
KeepOnMoving1 · 14/12/2015 00:17

'Deranged hag', hitting them intentionally, some people are just nasty to the core and are so proud of it too with relating their vile ways so gleefully.

TheFairyCaravan · 14/12/2015 00:18

God, there are some right arses on this thread. Is it a full moon or something? Hmm

I would suggest that the first time the lady turned round wasn't the first time your DD kicked the chair and I would, also, suggest that the kicks weren't light brushes against the chair either.

I've got a severe back condition, I'd have had to leave if your DD had kept kicking my chair. Maybe the woman has a similar problem?

AntiHop · 14/12/2015 00:19

If the woman had so much difficulty being around other people perhaps she should have hired her own box at the royal albert hall.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 14/12/2015 00:21

Mutton. You hit a man in the face with your rucksack. In front of your child. Teaching them that violence is the best way to deal with things. Great example you are. I feel sorry for your children.

On an aeroplane as well. If you behaved like that now and especially with everything going on. You'd be ordered off the plane, with immediate effect and possibly not allowed to fly again due to safe guarding. If I was flying that plane, I'd have got you escorted off with no qualms at all. Have you considered anger management, now I say that with no disrespect at all but I think you need it.

sugar21 · 14/12/2015 00:23

Also agree with costa
and hitting someone in the face with a bag is awful behaviour. No excuse for it.

MuttonWasAGoose · 14/12/2015 00:23

Fairy the op's daughter also has a condition... She's a child. The op apologised and did what she could.

Presumably, you don't go around dealing with problems by glaring aggressively at people. If you do, then one day you may run into someone very unpleasant.

Whoopydoo · 14/12/2015 00:25

OP its up to you to control your child. I would have apologised in the first instance it may have broken the ice. Insulting the lady on here is not very nice.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 14/12/2015 00:27

You wack someone with a rucksack. And you have the gallantry to call staring aggressive. I think you need a dictionary

TheFairyCaravan · 14/12/2015 00:27

Don't be so ridiculous Mutton, being a child is not a condition.

Original poster
lill72 · 14/12/2015 00:28

Ilive - when she turned around I started to smile and say I am doing my best etc etc but she was hearing nothing and her lack of smile really disarmed me. She did not want an apology - she wanted to give me the look of death.

I think the first time does not deserve a turnaround. It could be anyone's mistake.

It really makes me feel upset you think I am one of those mums who lets their children roam free as if anything I am totally the opposite. But you know mistakes happen - we all make them hey.

Adults are excused for bad behaviour all the time.

Lexia - yes it was a lovely way to spend the arvo! Think I'll go with a group of children next time. There are usually a lot more children than there were today.

Why is everyone still up?! I have to get to bed zzzz

OP posts:
MuttonWasAGoose · 14/12/2015 00:30

Yes, glaring extensively and wordlesly as someone apologises is aggressive.

"Accidentally" swinging a rucksack is passive aggressive.

I think the op is a much nicer person than I am. The old lady was lucky to have been in front of someone nice. I'm an example of someone who is not nice.

Original poster
lill72 · 14/12/2015 00:30

antihop - exactly a box! I was thinking a box might be good to get away from such people next year!

OP posts:
AbbyCadabra · 14/12/2015 00:32

Deliberately swinging a rucksack into someone's face is not passive aggressive!

kali110 · 14/12/2015 00:33

anti i rarely leave my house as it is, so should i stay in all the time because i have a disability to avoid people??

fairy
You have my sympathy. I damaged my back beyond repair at 20 and im now in my 30's.
It just gets worse [sad

Being a child is not a condition Angry

MuttonWasAGoose · 14/12/2015 00:34

Of course it is. Passive aggression is deliberate aggression. It's just cloaked to conceal the intent.

Glaring straight into someone's face for ten seconds is overtly aggressive.

Both aggressive.

AnUtterIdiot · 14/12/2015 00:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CainInThePunting · 14/12/2015 00:35

High horse?

You keep saying the child's feet 'brushed' the chair. That is obviously not the case and I think you are minimising your daughter's behaviour.
It's not sitting on a high horse to say you should make sure your child doesn't spoil an event for others. That's your responsibility as a parent.

kali110 · 14/12/2015 00:35

No swinging a rucksack into
A persons face is violence and i agree with the other poster, it is not teaching childen good morals.

Op is it possible that dd kicked her chair before but you didn't notice? ( accidently ofcorse)

StayWithMe · 14/12/2015 00:36

Maybe the fact that you started to smile at her, OP, made her feel that you thought it was funny. You have got her back up by smiling at her.

Just to let you be aware, as others have suggested, maybe she has a condition that causes pain/discomfort with her the chair being kicked. A little kick, such as you described, would have caused extreme pain to my DH.

kali110 · 14/12/2015 00:37

What is wrong with your dh stay?
It causes me pain, i have to move seats on the bus if kids do it.

AbbyCadabra · 14/12/2015 00:39

Aggressive AND gutless, Mutton.

MuttonWasAGoose · 14/12/2015 00:39

It's not an illness, of course. But it's a phase of development in which the person can't do things the way other people can. And why people should be understanding of their limitations.

And it's also why an adult has to be responsible for them, which I do think the op was being.

StayWithMe · 14/12/2015 00:40

Ffs, will people stop describing someone in their 60s as old! People in their 60s still work. I dare say some of the posters on here are quite happy to leave their kids with grandparents of similar age. I bet if someone told them not to do so as their parents are old, they'd tell them to catch themselves on. Funny how people in their 60s are only old, if someone doesn't like them.

AnUtterIdiot · 14/12/2015 00:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuttonWasAGoose · 14/12/2015 00:43

And yet I've never actually had any problems with security.

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