Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 13 14 15 16 17 18

Original poster

To say no to pizza pasta again?

445 replies

karmakameleon · 12/12/2015 11:57

So I'm trying to arrange dinner with a friend and her family and she's suggested a pizza pasta place. Fairly standard kid food but my problem is that DS (3yrs old) doesn't like it. DS will happily eat Indian, Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Mexican amongst other things, so I don't think he can be described as fussy, but just not pizza and pasta.

As you imagine this comes up regularly when we eat out with friends and in the past I've taken the view that DS can have some bread and fill up on ice cream after. But this time I've had enough and put my foot down as I just feel it's not fair on DS to always be the one that can't eat and ends up going home hungry. Also I know that DS really doesn't like pizza pasta as I've offered it to him a hundred times but I'm guessing that my friend's child hasn't tried half the options I've suggested. (The specific places I've mentioned to her all do some mild options in smaller sized portions although not specifically a children's menu.) And if the worst came to the worst, surely her DS could pick at his main and then have lots of ice cream for pudding like mine has had to in the past?

Anyway, the whole thing is proving quite traumatic, she's not taking up any of my suggestions and sticking fairly rigidly to her original choice and I'm getting the feeling that the whole thing is off unless I do as I'm told compromise. So now I'm starting to feel guilty and think maybe I'm being a bit unreasonable as it is a fairly standard choice. But then it's not DS's fault he doesn't like it...

OP posts:

Catsize · 16/12/2015 12:14

M&S cafe.

Or just be a bit braver and take a picnic to the park.

She sounds a bit of a mare, but so does the 20mins negotiating thing.

DropYourSword · 16/12/2015 13:25

Sounds a little like a self fulfilling prophecy to me...you expected your child to be fussy at the "pizza/pasta" ugh place, so therefore he was.

Reminds me of the studies I've heard of where parents were told their kids had high sugar intake and reported "sugar high" type behaviour, because that's what they were expecting to see, whereas the parents who were told their kids had healthy veggie sticks were basically angels personified. Except in reality the kids had been fed the opposite to what was reported to the parents. Just goes to show how much your expectations colour reality.

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 16/12/2015 13:29

Sorry, I only have time to skim rtft but your friend sounds like a giant arse pain to me op. I would probably cut down on meet ups or at least the ones where you have to eat. Not fair on your DS or you at all and pizza pasta is a) disgusting in most UK restaurants and b) not particularly nutritious.

Goingtobeawesome · 16/12/2015 13:37

I really wish your DH and DS had gone in to the restaurant and you said "we are eating here, join us if you wish, if not we'll see you at X after you've had your pizza" and walked in to the Mexican.

Welshwabbit · 16/12/2015 13:38

Wow, this thread is amazing. OP, I think it is unfair that your friend won't compromise on restaurants. But I also came on to say what I now see DropYourSword has said above - I suspect that your DS is playing up in the Italian chain restaurants at least in part because he's getting frustrated and angry vibes from you. If he will often eat risotto, chicken & chips or fish & chips, it seems strange that he turned all three down on this trip. I don't imagine the 20 minutes spent cajoling helped either: a straightforward presentation of the kids' menu, request for a choice and then ordering something you know he has eaten in the past if he couldn't choose might work better if you end up in a chain Italian again. But like previous posters, I would suggest that next time you meet up, you pre-book Giraffe (as your friend has now OKed this) so that your friend's DS can eat what he likes, and your DS can also have his choice of food.

OnlyLovers · 16/12/2015 13:43

Off-topic, but I'd like to know – what was the restaurant your friend's DH was 'drooling' about ?

KakiFruit · 16/12/2015 13:56

I suspect the OP exaggerated the 20 minutes in order to show how much her son struggles in 'pizza pasta' places, but it would be difficult to backtrack now...

I still think the friend is the unreasonable one. She sounds incredibly selfish.

StuffandBother · 16/12/2015 14:06

Fuck me, it all sounds very intense and very like hard work - I wouldn't bother in future stay at home and eat some olives and Houmous and she can stay in and order a Dominos - and when you've finished you can Skype each other!

RhodaBull · 16/12/2015 15:00

Negotiating over what he could like to choose from the menu took 15-20 minutes and was time we couldn't enjoy chatting with our friends. By contrast her conversation was a 30 sec "DS, do you want pasta or pizza?" "Pizza pls". Job done.

Heavens above. I would never want to see someone ever again if they spent 20 minutes of a lunch pandering to a 3 year old. Not a 3-year-old who had additional needs, or who was poorly, or who even was having a meltdown, but one who was simply struggling to make a choice from the menu . I'd think they were absolutely bonkers.

Hufflepuffin · 16/12/2015 15:08

*"First choice was a half size portion of an adult main. I know that the chain we were at do this for the pasta (not useful for us) and risotto dishes. So first thing was to convince DS he wanted risotto. Sometimes works but not today.

They don't do fish or meat main in half sizes so if that's what he wanted it creates a problem. I know a few people have just said order an adult main and lump the cost, but I think that really would be madness. And I can just see my friends AIBU now!"*

In this scenario, I would buy a half-size risotto and a full-size main with an extra plate, and share both with my DS. It would be the same price as ordering just a children's item for him (half size risotto) but you eat the risotto and he eats half the main.

Gribbie · 16/12/2015 15:36

Do you think maybe it's the mum who wants to go to the Italian chain not her child?

Toffeelatteplease · 16/12/2015 15:58

I suspect the OP exaggerated the 20 minutes in order to show how much her son struggles in 'pizza pasta' places,

One can only hope.

derxa · 16/12/2015 16:42

May I suggest a 'fight' Harry Hill-style where the OP is dressed as a giant enchillada or whatever and the 'friend' is a giant 'pizza/pasta'. The winner chooses the restaurant. I've enjoyed this thread immensely.

Mrsfrumble · 16/12/2015 16:46

derxa

CheerfulYank · 17/12/2015 07:02

I've made pizza pasta before :) It's a thing.

Caffeinator · 22/12/2015 11:48

Just saw this and it reminded me of this thread.

myotherusernameisbetter · 22/12/2015 11:52

That looks gross.

LittleG69 · 22/12/2015 17:34

derxa that has made me laugh so much after a shitty day

derxa · 22/12/2015 18:08

Little

Roundles · 24/12/2015 17:01

Pizzapasta for classics.

It has validated my existence

Flip

1 2 ··· 13 14 15 16 17 18