To say no to pizza pasta again?

[karmakameleon]

So I'm trying to arrange dinner with a friend and her family and she's suggested a pizza pasta place. Fairly standard kid food but my problem is that DS (3yrs old) doesn't like it. DS will happily eat Indian, Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Mexican amongst other things, so I don't think he can be described as fussy, but just not pizza and pasta.

As you imagine this comes up regularly when we eat out with friends and in the past I've taken the view that DS can have some bread and fill up on ice cream after. But this time I've had enough and put my foot down as I just feel it's not fair on DS to always be the one that can't eat and ends up going home hungry. Also I know that DS really doesn't like pizza pasta as I've offered it to him a hundred times but I'm guessing that my friend's child hasn't tried half the options I've suggested. (The specific places I've mentioned to her all do some mild options in smaller sized portions although not specifically a children's menu.) And if the worst came to the worst, surely her DS could pick at his main and then have lots of ice cream for pudding like mine has had to in the past?

Anyway, the whole thing is proving quite traumatic, she's not taking up any of my suggestions and sticking fairly rigidly to her original choice and I'm getting the feeling that the whole thing is off unless I do as I'm told compromise. So now I'm starting to feel guilty and think maybe I'm being a bit unreasonable as it is a fairly standard choice. But then it's not DS's fault he doesn't like it...

I'd love a pizza with pasta on top.

I would love some pasta with some pizza instead of garlic bread to mop everything up.

order out from where ever the feck ye all want and eat at a park bench/friends house/some derelect house door way. sheesh!!!!

i must be bitter from being made eat whatever i was given at the age of THREE!!!!

I would call pizza express an Italian chain bur evidently others on this thread wouldnt

I haven't been to Jamie's Italian (except for breakfast that was yummy) I would still call it an Italian food chain. I would be utterly puzzled why one Italian food chain was ok but none of the others

Giraffe sells virtually identical to harvester apparently but a couple of quid more expensive

I've never been to a harvester either...

I think you sound a bit precious/precocious and showy-offy about your son's varied palate. What's the big deal with a generic restaurant? I would baulk at going to a Japanese/Indian/-expensive- restaurant with my kids to meet you as they either wouldn't eat anything or appreciate it. Why are you being difficult? Just choose somewhere generic with lots of options including pasta & pizza but other things as well or a pub chain where you can get him a starter or a kids size main. Your issue is a non issue you are making a big deal of to make a point, I think.

First world problem.

Food is not all about eating, it's about sitting around a table with your loved ones, learning basic social skills like being polite and making conversation.

It sounds like he has a wholesome varied diet the rest of the time. One 'bland' meal while he has a laugh with his friend isn't going to kill him.

It may also be character building, he will learn he has to compromise and that he won't always get exactly what he wants all the time and sometimes he will have to eat... Shock! Horror! PASTA!!!!

I was brought up saying a little prayer before eating about being grateful for what we had. I'm not religious now (never was really) but it was a good thing to remember. Some children in the world don't have the luxury of choice.

Belly run I think the op is a bit put out that it's her son that always has to compromise and learn these life's lessons.why don't your words equally apply to the other children?

Yes I got that. Learning to compromise more than once or twice is a good skill. And probably will be a valuable lesson given his food preferences.

If this is really such a big issue that it outweighs all the benefits of socialising one 3 year old child with another 3 year old child then I would say it's not worth it.

But Indread to think how these children are going to turn out...

"Oh tut tut Mummy. I do believe that roast dinner you've prepared is neither free range OR organic. Remove it from my sight at once wench and fetch me my iPad!"

Basically, what I'm trying to say is. They are THREE YEARS OLD. Their food preferences will change with the wind. They should get what they are given (within the limits of food allergies obviously)

I agree. Seems that only applies to the one child though the others get to eat what they want.

I never take my kids preferences in to account when i eat out! There is always something they can eat. I don't eat pizza or pasta yet often end up in Italians, i just get salad or chicken and enjoy the chat. If YOU don't want to go to that restaurant OP just say so and don't go.

So either man up and confront the mother of the other child or just get on with your life.

Me and my friends choose where we like to eat (because we are the adults) and the children get what we decide is appropriate for them.

My daughter would happily live on a diet consisting entirely of white chocolate buttons if I'd let her. But she eats what I give her instead based on what I have in the fridge/what I seem to be healthy/what I want to eat.

They are THREE!!!!!!!

(This is winding me up far too much)

Agree it's your turn to choose but needs to be something her kids will eat too. Asian food really not great for lots of people as it disagrees with them. also at you picking a restaurant for presumably 6-8 people based only on what your child will eat. I'd never be so self centred (same goes for your friend).

How about Zizzis, they do breaded chicken on the kids menu.

Or are you splitting the bill. Just order ds some things off the adult menu he will eat. Starters are great for a toddler meal. Ask for peas or side of veg with it.

How about calamari. Most Italians do that and it's a sizable starter generally and your ds might like it. Ditto risotto balls? Mussels? My ds both love these kind of things.

Or even a child's size risotto.

Darn now I want to go out for italian.

I get your friend is inflexible. I have an inflexible friend but I like her so I compromise to for in with her and don't expect the other way around.

The child isn't expressing an opinion here; it's a case of OP making a huge issue of something that just isn't a big deal.

It's her projecting her own issues & being precious on her child's behalf who probably doesn't give a shit

OP's son has been to the place he doesn't like before, and she has compromised, friend however hasn't. Why should it always be that her son is the one having to eat somewhere he doesn't like? They could take it in turns.

OP's son has already learnt to compromise. I'm an adult, and I am more than happy to compromise in terms of restaurant choices but if my friends insisted we keep going to this one place I wasn't a fan of, time and time again, I would suggest somewhere else and hope friends were grown up enough to do it. I wouldn't keep putting myself out every single time. And so what if he's 3? Just because he's a child he can't choose what he eats? Rubbish. Adults can be as fussy as they like (what with vegan/paleo/5:2/other food fads) so why can't we give children some leeway. They are, after all, children!

precisely made

I don't see how the op is in the wrong when she's the one who repeatedly has to go places she doesn't like yet no one else will.

just take turns. if it's ok fir the ds to eat bread and ice cream then it's ok for the other child to as well.

I get it, OP.
For years, when eating iut with friends, it's always been "but what will Flo eat" and we've ended up with bland food, pizza or egg and chips.

Just occasionally, it's nice to turn the table and enjoy something more exciting

Because people haven't actually read the op.
I get its precious. I get hat the dc just need to fit into adults plans. But that applies to the ohers more than the op.

OP your posts are a bit inconsistent:

"Anyway, the whole thing is proving quite traumatic, she's not taking up any of my suggestions and sticking fairly rigidly to her original choice and I'm getting the feeling that the whole thing is off unless I do as I'm told compromise. "

And:
Just to be clear the conversation with me friend has gone along the lines of

• where shall we eat?
• how about this chain Italian?
• ooh DS not mad keen on that, maybe one of these (suggest three chains that DS does like inc giraffe)
• hmm not sure will have a think

And later

• another thought, what about nandos?

So far no response.

---

It doesn't seem that your friend is being that rigid, she said she'd think about your suggestions. And you asked her to suggest first!

Has she replied yet?

Well although pizza pasta might not be a thing it turns out pasta pizza is! Who knew?

I bet all those saying that the OP is being unreasonable and 'it's not about the food, it's about the company' are the same people who always get to go to their choice of restaurant and are never flexible or let others choose.

YANBU at all. You've done your share of compromise. It's her turn. Dismissing you with "I'll think about it" isn't really on. She's stringing you along until you agree to do her will.

Thai, Japanes, interesting (!) places are no more expensive than anywhere else.

Now, I really want a big bowl of Wagamama ramen.

I don't think that's dismissive, I think it's more about her checking the menu online or something.

Anyway....