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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Y1 Teacher Refused to let DS go to the toilet, resulting in sitting in mess all day.

379 replies

FreeSpirit89 · 12/12/2015 10:01

My mum picked DS1 aged 5 up from school Friday afternoon (3.15pm), He was clearly distressed, and upset. When she got him beyond the school gates he told her he had messy pants on. He said he had asked to go to the toilet before first break (10.30am) and the teacher had said no, he couldn't hold it any longer and messed his pants.

The school is aware that DS has bowel problems, they have letters on file from his consultant specialist at the hospital as well as the family GP, and myself explaining that he needs to be able to have access to water at all times, and due to his condition he may not have much warning that he needs to go to the toilet, and it tends to leak out of him fairly quickly.

His bottom was red raw, and little sores have appeared at the top of his bum crack due to being made to sit in his own mess all day. He is quite upset, and doesn't want to go back to school because he thinks it will happen again.

Im planning on approaching the school head about this on Monday, but i am at a loss at how to do so? The head's default reaction to anything where the parent isn't there to witness the incident is that the child may be lying. I want to go prepared and not get to angry, which at the moment i'm struggling with. I just cant believe that they have treated this issue with no sensitivity and ignore my sons pleas for the toilet.

Any idea's how i can get them to listen and ensure this doesn't happen again would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Kr1stina · 13/12/2015 20:08

You worked as a teacher? Even though you are only 22 and you haven't fninshed university yet ? That's interesting .

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 20:08

I worked as a TA for a while.

Kr1stina · 13/12/2015 20:09

I'm talking about this thread . And last time I checked you didn't own MN and don't get the right to tell me where to post

For a new poster you have a quite a few contentious commenst on a number of threads

mincepiesforbreakfast · 13/12/2015 20:10

Being a TA is not comparable to teaching and I am sorry if that offends but it really isn't.

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 20:11

I've posted on here for a while, and it's a bit unfair to this thread to start an argument about something else I said.

I've not been the only person to say those comments. On every thread some have agreed some haven't, as is life. We don't all agree. Nothing to get stressed over

LouLouLockets · 13/12/2015 20:11

I thought you worked in a SN school Tali? Dear me Biscuit

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 20:12

It doesn't offend me. I just don't like it being implied I don't know what it's like to work with kids

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 20:12

I said I worked with primarily SN children. Which is true. Most children I worked with had varying SN

IguanaTail · 13/12/2015 20:12

It's just that you disagree with everyone, Tali.

IguanaTail · 13/12/2015 20:13

If you are indeed 22 then your experience of working with anyone is pretty negligeable.

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 20:14

Not really iguana there are several people who agree with me and several who don't. I'm not the only person on this thread to say about toilets.

I can only think of one thread where I was the only person of 2 with that particular opinion

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 20:15

I just tend to comment on more interesting threads (to me) and they tend to polarise opinion more than some more peaceful threads

mincepiesforbreakfast · 13/12/2015 20:20

Regardless of your motives Tali if you were a TA working alongside a child with additional needs that is again not comparable to nine or ten children all needing to 'go toilet'

Oswin · 13/12/2015 20:23

Woah wtf is with the nasty pile on.

mincepiesforbreakfast · 13/12/2015 20:24

What nasty pile on? Confused

IguanaTail · 13/12/2015 20:26

Oh no when I meant you disagree with everyone I meant on other threads (generally about schools). You're entitled to make your comments but, just as my comments about hospitals and doctors would not be hugely well informed, your comments about how schools operate are also not very well informed.

hollieberrie · 13/12/2015 20:26

I did work experience in a dental practice "for a while" too. Doesn't mean I'd presume to tell a dentist how to do his job.

Glad you weren't my TA Tali, you sound utterly clueless.

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 20:32

I'm actually in the middle of my teaching degree so y'know not talking completely out my arse.

But please go on about how I know nothing because I disagree Hmm

IguanaTail · 13/12/2015 20:35

Nobody said you knew nothing. But as you are not even trained yet, you have to accept your experience and understanding is incredibly limited. How are you training with a 3 month old baby?

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 20:38

Iguana I took this year off and am going back next September, my uni is very good about students with kids which is great

MeriMeriQuiteContrary · 13/12/2015 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 20:44

Meri call bullshit all you want. I worked as a TA and decided to do my degree. Took this year off because I had my son. I've mentioned it before that I'm at uni, feel free to look through. I don't have to prove anything so whatever

FreeSpirit89 · 13/12/2015 21:01

I will update the thread tomorrow once I have spoken with the Head. Thank you everyone!

OP posts:
MeriMeriQuiteContrary · 13/12/2015 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 13/12/2015 21:10

Please do Spirit, and dont let them blind you with science either.