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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To throw away ugly Xmas cards I receive?

239 replies

BollockSandwich · 11/12/2015 11:48

Some of the Xmas cards we've received this year are really horrible, gaudy, cheap looking things.

I don't want ugly cards on display in my house so I want to just keep the nice ones that fit with my colour scheme.

DH said he doesn't care and also doesn't want ugly cards up.

My friend came around today and was horrified by the idea that I wouldn't display every card we get, no matter how ugly.

So WIBU to dump all of the cards I don't like? We don't have any visitors over Xmas so no risk of offending anyone by this if they come and don't see their card up.

OP posts:
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5
RiverTam · 11/12/2015 13:32

I'm not patronising you. I'm just responding to your pretty unpleasant posts. You seem to be ignoring the content of what I and other posters are saying though.

squoosh · 11/12/2015 13:32

Robins are the Daddy, the Don if you will, of Christmas cards.

pieceofpurplesky · 11/12/2015 13:33

I think it is sad your kids don't get to hang their decorations in your tree that they have worked so hard on, in the spirit of Christmas and love - because you think they are shite.

That said I hate Christmas cards, but a sparkly Christmas bag and put it under my tree - and blame the cat to visitors although she does actually knock them off so not really ting

greencottage · 11/12/2015 13:33

This is so sad! Our tree has the following: children's decorations dating back to age 4, a couple of ornaments given to me by friends when I was in primary school, various ornaments collected over the years with loved ones, either because I liked them, or they made us smile. A wonky angel that still makes everyone laugh. Some handmade items bought in a Christmas market somewhere, that are reminders of a special trip. No theme whatsoever. Every year we all trim the tree together as a family and each ornament prompts special memories as it goes up, and gives us a couple of happy hours of chatter, with a glass of wine and some carols playing in the background. Putting the tree up is the real start of Christmas for me.

My house is pretty nice decor-wise but I don't give two hoots that the tree doesn't "match". A few years ago I did actually succumb to the idea that it might be nice to have a more stylish tree, and decorated it accordingly. DC1 came home in the evening, saw it, and accused me of "ruining Christmas". He's 22. The new stuff came off, and we started again. Really, it's not a Christmas tree, it's a memory tree - something I don't think a carefully curated selection of new-season's baubles could ever provide.

pieceofpurplesky · 11/12/2015 13:33

Not sure how I manager to Strike Though Christmas!

spankhurst · 11/12/2015 13:34

YANBU to what you want in your house, but it does seem to be missing the point a bit.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 11/12/2015 13:36

I wouldn't say it's patronising, OP.

I also think you've completely and utterly missed the whole point of Christmas.

Also, this;

So your kid presents you with a decoration they've made in school and you say 'put it in your room or give it to Granny'.

How festive!

Horrible attitude.

JessieMcJessie · 11/12/2015 13:36

It's not clear from your comments- do you actually appreciate the fact that people with taste badly co-ordinated to your decor have sent you cards, or do you wish they hadn't sent them at all? To my mind not putting them up is slightly more excusable if you at least enjoyed receiving them, and the spirit behind it.

My Mum was a stickler for sending extremely high quality cards and she did roll her eyes a bit at some we received, and those were displayed somewhere a bit out of main sight, but she would not have binned them directly.

Bettercallsaul1 · 11/12/2015 13:38

Quite so, Squoosh! Admirably put. They are the sine qua non of Christmas cards.

Hi5Hello · 11/12/2015 13:38

Squoosh we do the same and love it...

... at least black trees seem to have away

Clayhead · 11/12/2015 13:38

I put cards straight into recycling.

As the dc got older they did the same with anything they brought back from school.

We have loads of decorations we've bought on holidays or days out which we love getting out each year and chatting about.

SauvignonBlanche · 11/12/2015 13:38

OMG, I assumed this was a good-natured piss-take. Xmas Sad
Someone pinch me and tell me it's not for real. Xmas Hmm

squoosh · 11/12/2015 13:41

Personally I'm very into decor but I think a Christmas tree should stand out rather then blend in. And I think tree decorations are immune to fashion.

Think of a Christmas tree as an eccentric old aunt. She swoops in wearing her mismatching yet charming attire, stays for a couple of weeks brightening the place up, and then swooshes out again on the 6th of January. And you think yes, she can come again next year.

Original poster
BollockSandwich · 11/12/2015 13:45

Jessie Oh no, I do appreciate that people have taken the time to write and send them and I always send cards back. It's not that I don't want to receive them, it's just that I don't want to put up those that I don't like.

I feel like I've painted myself to be a right miserable old scrooge in this thread. I'm a normal human being, honestly.

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 11/12/2015 13:46

Christmas for me is all about the kids, they can hang all sorts of ugly (but made with love) shite on the tree, their cards are all over the house, they decorate the tree and have a fab time doing it. Will it win any style awards? Nope. Will they have fond memories of a home full of love and fun when I am no longer here to share Christmas (hopefully not for many years yet!) yes.

Do what you want with your home, I know which one I would rather be in.

SisterNancySinatra · 11/12/2015 13:50

There was a fashion in recent years to send really small cards , I remember a highly educated a d wealthy aunt sent me a card so tiny she just got stamp a d address on envelope . When I received it I thought how ridiculous and binned it , however it's probably one card that stands out in memory over the years Grin

sonjadog · 11/12/2015 13:52

My mother used to do a sort of clothes rail style effect with her Christmas cards on a line and hang them across the door. So only a sliver of them would be on display. Could you do that and arrange it so that the cards you don't like are less visible?

TheLesserSpottedBee · 11/12/2015 13:55

Do you check with other people what their colour schemes are before you send yours? Wink

desertmum · 11/12/2015 13:56

Yes so agree re it being a memory tree - memories of countries we have lived in and visited, memories of my mum and dad, the kids childhoods and my childhood - when we cleared mum and dads house we found Christmas Dec's my sisters and I had made 40+ years ago. I love my tree, makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

DanishBlue · 11/12/2015 14:03

YANBU - I don't put up any Christmas cards except for my parents' brother's & best friends' cars. I do like receiving them from old friends around the country as they usually include a few lines and updates but once I have read them they go in a drawer until after Christmas, when I then them in 2 and use any blank sides for notes and shopping lists.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 11/12/2015 14:06

YABU, either throw the lot away or display the whole lot, they are meant as a greeting and it's about the thought not the appearance of the card. We display every single one any of us gets in the living room (on a wire card holder) and make no effort to put a particular one at the front just because it's attractive.

I also display every item the DCs (9 and 11, so it's a big collection) have ever made at school, nursery, Brownies etc because I love that they made them with such care, they go on another metal holder on the wall.

As for colour schemed decorations, no, that's something I will never do. Green tree, multicoloured collection of baubles and bits lovingly collected over 20 years, those are the tress I love. As for replacing it all every three years, words fail me, what a waste.

Bettercallsaul1 · 11/12/2015 14:15

Love the idea of Christmas as an eccentric old aunt swooping in to stay for a couple of weeks! (These days, however, her sojourn tends to be of somewhat longer duration!)

ImtheChristmasCarcass · 11/12/2015 14:20

I suggest next year you send this in early November:

"Dear Loved Ones, This year our theme will be 'penguins'. We will be putting royal blue and silver baubles on our white flocked tree. We are asking that all of you who plan to send Xmas cards or wrapped gifts to please be sure they coordinate with our theme. Acceptable cards and paper are; black and/or white penguins (please no red or green penguin attire), snow scenes, and the Holy Family (but please be sure their attire is appropriately coloured). Silver and/or blue paper with muted patterns only (a 'hint' of black, gold, or light blue will be fine) will be accepted. I'm sure you wouldn't want your offerings to clash and therefore not be displayed!"

Right now I'm looking at 'clashing cards' displayed on my mantle. They match my 'theme' 😒 quite well. But then again my 'theme' is well loved and cherished things (and people) who are all precious to me and full of wonderful memories.

Fiderer · 11/12/2015 14:24

I think I may be related to squoosh

Think of a Christmas tree as an eccentric old aunt. She swoops in wearing her mismatching yet charming attire, stays for a couple of weeks brightening the place up, and then swooshes out again on the 6th of January. And you think yes, she can come again next year.

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 11/12/2015 14:26

YANBU. Dump away.

I only keep nice ones.

Frankly if someone doesn't deem me important enough to send me a decent card then I don't deem them important enough to display it. I'd rather get no card at all than a flimsy picture of a stuffed robin.