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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Downstairs neighbour complaining about my breastpump, AIBU not to change rooms at night?

733 replies

Cealee · 08/12/2015 17:11

Just bought a new powerful pump as I'm exclusively expressing. We live in a flat that's split over 2 levels so our bedroom is on 1st floor, our lounge upstairs on 2nd floor. Our neighbour (on ground floor) caught me in hall to ask what the 'mechanical noise' is that wakes her up Blush I explained its my breastpump and that I need to express at 11pm, 3am and 7am to maintain supply. She said it makes ceiling vibrate and is very loud (even though it's not on the floor it's on a cushion on my bedside table!) She asked me to do it upstairs. I explained this isn't practical as my DH wears earplugs so I need to be able to hear baby if he wakes. She suggested I take baby upstairs with me!! Why should I have to move my sleeping baby upstairs (and risk waking him) every time I express milk? He's just started sleeping through and got used to his cot. And there's no way I'm going to move cot upstairs and sleep on sofa for the next 8months Angry

AIBU to think it's rude to tell someone not to express milk in their own bedroom? It's not like I'm playing loud music! I don't see why neighbour can't just get some earplugs!

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 08/12/2015 17:30

HV said must be every 4hours or supply will drop
Nonsense! Getting a decent kip will help though.

DisappointedOne · 08/12/2015 17:30

My dc are well into their teenage years now but I never remember being told that I had to express every four hours? In fact, your whole set-up sounds odd to me. At that age, your baby will be feeding a lot - are you saying that he sleeps through the night and yet you are up religiously expressing? Someone with more recent knowledge will come along but surely your supply should more or less regulate itself to the baby's needs? What happens if the baby feeds at night - are you still expressing at these times?

Expressing is completely different to standard breastfeeding. Normal rules don't apply. You can't drop a night feed. Baby can still be fed on demand (after 2 mins milk heating) but the expressing must happen 4 hourly though the night else you get blocked ducts and mastitis (believe me you want to avoid that). Expressing is really hard work. Not everyone can feed "conventionally". That said I don't understand why the pump is so noisy.

DotForShort · 08/12/2015 17:30

YABU. Yes, your DH has to get up for work. Your neighbour probably has to do the same. Imagine being awakened three times every night due to someone else's actions. Your neighbour is probably as sleep deprived as you are, and she doesn't even have a lovely baby as compensation!

I know the early months with a baby are difficult. But really, it doesn't mean you can throw consideration for others out the window.

TaliZorah · 08/12/2015 17:30

round I have a 15 week old myself and no way would I think it's okay to wake others up with an obnoxious breast pump! I get OP is tired but really she's being ridiculous

AnyoneButSanta · 08/12/2015 17:30

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Branleuse · 08/12/2015 17:30

what the hell pump are you using that shakes the house?

YABVU, and why do you need to pump 4 hourly, even at night???

Im sure your midwife meant 4 hourly in the day

FrostyNipples · 08/12/2015 17:30

Some of these replies are a bit heavy.

It's good will season.......Xmas Smile

R0nJ0n · 08/12/2015 17:31

My neighbour, whose bedroom shares a party wall with mine, quite often wakes me up at night using a, ahem, vibrating device. As she's a single woman with no baby it's not a breast pump, however it is quite annoying, vibrations do tend to travel. I've never complained because it's not every night and I don't know how to say something without it being Blush.

You need to find a solution, whether it be moving where to express or using a quieter pump. This situation really isn't fair on your neighbour.

Stimpack · 08/12/2015 17:31

I like to be in same room as him when he sleeps as mother's presence helps regulate their breathing.

Precious much? Grin

MistressMerryWeather · 08/12/2015 17:31

I'm sure your neighbor needs her sleep just as much as your DH.

You really need to be more considerate.

TaliZorah · 08/12/2015 17:31

dissapointed why is expressing different? Milk coming out is milk, how do the breasts know whether a baby is feeding it she's expressing?

Pyjamaramadrama · 08/12/2015 17:31

It does all sound a bit strange op.

Can I ask why you're exclusively expressing? It is hard work and less effective than feeding the baby. I get that you probably have a good reason.

If your baby is sleeping through why does your dh need ear plugs?

DisappointedOne · 08/12/2015 17:32

Because the method to get it out isn't the same! Pumps can't replicate the suckling action completely, so pumping is far less efficient.

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 08/12/2015 17:33

My Dh did more than his fair share of night feeds and also got up at 6 for work. Why does your Dh need ear plugs?

BondJayneBond · 08/12/2015 17:33

I get it you have to be respectful in a flat but complaining about a breastpump seems weird to me.

If the noise and vibrations from the breast pump are loud enough to wake your neighbour, then complaining about it isn't weird at all. Knowing it's a breast pump rather than a vacuum cleaner or washing machine won't make it any easier for her to sleep through it.

And re. the mother's presence helps regulate their breathing I thought that any adult presence helped with that? So dad sleeping in the same room as baby would have a similar effect?

Pointlessfan · 08/12/2015 17:33

My DH also has to be up at 6 for work, he did his share of night duty when DD was tiny and my pump made a right racket, I wouldn't expect the neighbours to put up with it in the middle of the night.

DisappointedOne · 08/12/2015 17:33

Night pumps, as with standard feeds, are the most important for maintaining supply. Inconvenient, absolutely but absolutely necessary.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 08/12/2015 17:34

Your dh chose to have a baby, your neighbour didn't.

Your neighbour should take precedence over your dh over who gets kept awake by any noise. When I had a small baby I breastfed exclusively and as dh was a stay at home dad I went back to work when she was 18 weeks old. I bf two/three times a night and got up and went to work. Not great, but do'able. Your dh can't expect a full nights sleep with a new baby.

Owllady · 08/12/2015 17:35

So dildos vibrate your neighbours houses aswell
dear me

Original poster
Cealee · 08/12/2015 17:35

It's a Spectra S2, supposed to be one of the quieter med-grade pumps. Think it's the vibrations she's objecting to.

If I could BF my baby I would but he won't latch. So expressing is essential. I'm not switching to FF just to keep neighbour happy.

Seems like only option is to take him upstairs with me?
IMO it seems silly to move a sleeping baby just because neighbour dislikes noise of pump (it's only for 15mins each time). She was hinting I should take him upstairs when he used to cry at night but I didn't, it's his bedroom too and he needed to learn to settle in his cot. I wouldn't dream of complaining about a baby crying or a breastpump!

OP posts:
Osolea · 08/12/2015 17:36

If you respect your DHs need to sleep then surely you can find it in yourself to respect the neighbours need for sleep?

It doesn't sound like she was complaining about a breast pump, she didn't know what the noise was when she mentioned it, so it seems a bit unfair to say that you find it weird to complain about a breast pump. She was complaining about noise that is waking her up in the middle of the night, which is entirely reasonable. I agree with others that you need to use a manual pump at night.

Maybe you could ask her what time she gets up in the morning, I wouldn't be bothered by the noise at 7am as I'd be up by then unless it was the weekend, so it might only be two pumps you have to switch for.

Narp · 08/12/2015 17:36

I don't think it's 'precious' - the comment about regulating breathing . Isn't that one of the reasons cited for babies sleeping in same room as parents for first 6 months? (didn't do it myself, but I believe that's the rationale).

RaptorsCantPlayPoker · 08/12/2015 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

roundtable · 08/12/2015 17:36

Tali - I've already said that the op is being unreasonable but some of these responses are rather strong.

An op can be told they are being unreasonable without a character assassination imo.

Shutthatdoor · 08/12/2015 17:37

I don't see why neighbour can't just get some earplugs!

I don't see why you can't change rooms.

YABVVU