Downstairs neighbour complaining about my breastpump, AIBU not to change rooms at night?

[Cealee]

Just bought a new powerful pump as I'm exclusively expressing. We live in a flat that's split over 2 levels so our bedroom is on 1st floor, our lounge upstairs on 2nd floor. Our neighbour (on ground floor) caught me in hall to ask what the 'mechanical noise' is that wakes her up I explained its my breastpump and that I need to express at 11pm, 3am and 7am to maintain supply. She said it makes ceiling vibrate and is very loud (even though it's not on the floor it's on a cushion on my bedside table!) She asked me to do it upstairs. I explained this isn't practical as my DH wears earplugs so I need to be able to hear baby if he wakes. She suggested I take baby upstairs with me!! Why should I have to move my sleeping baby upstairs (and risk waking him) every time I express milk? He's just started sleeping through and got used to his cot. And there's no way I'm going to move cot upstairs and sleep on sofa for the next 8months

AIBU to think it's rude to tell someone not to express milk in their own bedroom? It's not like I'm playing loud music! I don't see why neighbour can't just get some earplugs!

But it's a breast-pump, essential for feeding my baby! I can't prevent it making a noise.

Its not essential.

Yabu. Your poor neighbour. Move it or move rooms!

How old is your baby?
You won't need to express though the night for long, and it's may only be the 3am that's waking your neighbour. Could you go upstairs for that one out of consideration?

Oh yes she will. Take it from someone that did it for 8+ months.

I'll try putting it on the bed, thanks. Bit worried DH might kick it in his sleep though.

Maybe I am BU I'm just so tired and this is the last straw! She made a few sarky comments about baby crying in night when he was smaller. He's 11weeks now. I like to be in same room as him when he sleeps as mother's presence helps regulate their breathing.

I get it you have to be respectful in a flat but complaining about a breastpump seems weird to me.

DH needs to sleep as he gets up at 6am for work (hence the earplugs).

When did you stop needing to express in night? HV said must be every 4hours or supply will drop.

Forgive my ignorance about great pumps. There are anti-vibration mats you can buy, e.g. for washing machines., that might help if you are determined you can't move

I think you are being unreasonable, though. Don't make your neighbour suffer the enforced sleeplessness of an early parent!

breast pumps!

Yabu - I had a mechanical breast pump, it was like a cow being milked. No way I would put my neighbours through that as much as I could unless they were noisy themselves.

Could you use a fan at the same time? The white noise combined with cushioning/covering the pump might make the sound less maybe?

Good luck with expressing, sounds exhausting which is probably why you're reacting the way you are bit try to remember your neighbour is probably getting just as sleep deprived without the perk of a newborn to sniff!

All the best trying to find a solution.

Waking your neighbour up with what must be a really intrusive and unpleasant noise at 3am every night is beyond rude and inconsiderate!

The whole world does not revolve around you and your baby.

I really hope this is a reverse and the OP is not genuinely telling us it is OK for her to wake her neighbour up every night.

What pump have you bought, OP? I had a medella double pump in a rucksack that made very little noise. I even used it in an airplane bathroom without causing anyone any issues. Would get 8oz+ each side in 20 mins
Believe me, you're going to have to keep up pumping every 4 hours. Can you put the pump on your bed when you use it? Might deaden the sound a bit.

I doubt you being in the same room will make a blind bit of difference to the baby's breathing if there are such strong vibrations going on in the room.

Sorry, yabu. If you are only upstairs surely you could hear the baby if they wake? You need to take steps to address this, you are annoyed at the prospect of putting yourself out but are not considering your neighbour.

If your baby is sleeping through (lucky you as he sounds quite young) can't your husband sleep without ear plugs? By the sounds of it he may be using the plugs at least partly to drown out the noise of your pump! Otherwise, I agree with the suggestion of the monitor. There will still be someone in the room with your baby (your DH) and you will be able to hear any stirrings. I agree that for your neighbour to have mentioned it, it must be irritating. And there may be reasons why she can't wear earplugs (I never like to wear them if I need to get up for work for fear of missing my alarm).

Solely expressing muse be exhausting and it is really easy to focus only on your needs and the baby's. I do understand that but sorry I think YABU.

I cant understand why it is so.noisy.
a hand pump is fifferent to an electric one. Some suit some women, some dont

DH needs to sleep - em, so do you?

My dc are well into their teenage years now but I never remember being told that I had to express every four hours? In fact, your whole set-up sounds odd to me. At that age, your baby will be feeding a lot - are you saying that he sleeps through the night and yet you are up religiously expressing? Someone with more recent knowledge will come along but surely your supply should more or less regulate itself to the baby's needs? What happens if the baby feeds at night - are you still expressing at these times?

My DP wears ear plugs and hears the baby so your DP needs to step it up and deal with it.
How loud is the pump? If it wakes up your neighbour it must wake up the baby? I would move to another room rather the disturb the neighbours.

When did you stop needing to express in night? HV said must be every 4hours or supply will drop.

Your HV is right. By 6 months I was still expressing every 4 hours regardless of where I was and taking about 24 fenugreek capsules per day, eating porridge etc to keep my supply up.

YABVU.

Either go upstairs or get a silent hand pump for the 3am feed. The 11pm and 7am I'd carry on using the noisy pump. That seems like a reasonable compromise.

And reassure her that it will be a relatively short term thing, months not years.

are you setting an alarm to wake you at those times?

There's a simple solution that will keep you on good terms with your neighbour. Why wouldn't you be accommodating?

Ah be kind to the op, she's probably exhausted and hormonal. I'm sure lots of us can remember what it's like to have an 11 week old. Sometimes you lose your perception a bit.

Can you explain a bit more why dh wears earplugs? Exclusive expressing is really tough - it doesn't sound like you're getting much support from him. What does he think of the neighbour's request?

You're only not in the room while you are expressing though, and with regards putting it on the bed, if you're there you can prevent your husband kicking it surely. And unless your baby never naps further than a foot away from you then your efforts are negated.

You are very determined to make this her problem without making any adjustments yourself. This is your issue.

"DH needs to sleep"

So does your neighbour.

Have youput it on upstairs and then gone downstairs in your flat to listen?