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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

should people who work with kids....

142 replies

Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 22:36

Associate with someone who is a suspected paedo? Have NC for this but I am interested in what others think, I am absolutely being genuine.
The person in question works with kids, and has kids. She associates with someone who has been arrested on several occasions and due to lack of solid evidence cases have been dropped eventually. However SS had to be informed and they did their research and deemed the person a risk to kids, and basically said they believed he was very likely a paedophile. The person who works with kids was fully informed of this and warned that her children should not be left alone with her 'friend'. Bearing in mind she only associates with said 'paedophile' to piss off an ex partner and also because I think she believes there will be a hefty payout for her in a will eventually.
If this person was working with your child/children, or was your friend and you were at their house and your child possibly around the risky offender how would react? AIBU to think that she's a fucking disgrace and if people found out they would go bat shit?

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purpledasies · 07/12/2015 22:38

As long as she keeps her contact with this person and her contact with kids separate I can't see a problem.

If she was introducing the person to the kids she works with or leaving them in his care that would be different.

Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 22:40

She has this person in her home, and I know for a fact that a lot of her friends know the person hence must have been around them. And nearly all of them have young kids

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winterswan · 07/12/2015 22:41

I'm assuming she isn't taking the children she works with to his home, or bringing him into work with her.

Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 22:43

No of course not. Whilst I am aware she isn't breaking any laws I personally would be disgusted and annoyed if a friend of mine was associating with someone like this, had them around their own children and certainly if the said person had been around my kids and I didn't know of their record

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purpledasies · 07/12/2015 22:45

If her friends know the person, then I don't see how her stopping contact with him would help - they'd still know him wouldn't they? Social services or the police could, and maybe should, have a word with these other friends with young children if they don't know the information you're aware of.

winterswan · 07/12/2015 22:45

Somis your annoyance that the woman in question is associating with him because she has children or because she works with children?

ilovesooty · 07/12/2015 22:48

He hasn't got a record if he's never been convicted.

Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 22:48

That's what I mean, the friends and people around her don't know the truth. Shes a compulsive liar and has painted the said paedo and their partner to be a fabulous couple whom everyone respects, it's crazy

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MammaTJ · 07/12/2015 22:48

Before the Plymouth Nursery case (sorry, can't remember names well) I would have agreed that as long as the friend and the children were kept separate then there should not be a problem, but now I am not so sure.

I would need to know how much influence the person has over her, what the nature of their relationship is before making a judgement.

Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 22:50

He hasn't been convicted in court - he has been charged by the police several times and SS deem him a risk. Surely someone who works with children and has their own young kids should NOT have someone who SS (and the police) think is a paedophile around their children? I am aware that she isn't breaking any laws btw

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Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 22:52

My annoyance is more that she has everyone around her thinking she's Mother Earth - yet she knowingly associates with this person, knowing every detail of their past. I suppose what I am asking is if she was your friend or looking after your kids would you be furious if your kids had been near the person, or doubt her as a professional?

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MammaTJ · 07/12/2015 22:53

I am pretty sure that this would be flagged up by DBS, should he ever do one, due to the changes made after the guy (again, crap with names) who was a caretaker at a school and killed Holly and Jessica was found to have suspicious behaviour but no convictions in his past.

winterswan · 07/12/2015 22:55

But that doesn't seem relevant as she isn't taking the children she works with or looks after to this person. She is presumably supervising him around her own children. Is it what I would do - probably not, but the 'working with kids' is only relevant if she's taking him to work or taking the children she works with to him.

Cutecat78 · 07/12/2015 22:56

It wouldn't be flagged up on her DBS though.

He has no need to do one.

Cutecat78 · 07/12/2015 22:57

And things you haven't been convicted of are not flagged up on your DBS.

Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 23:00

Fair enough about the work thing however if you were her friend and attended social events where this person was present with your children and you didn't know how would you feel?

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winterswan · 07/12/2015 23:01

But why would they be present with my children - I'm not trying to be obtuse but I don't understand why it would affect me that someone I know associates with someone unsavoury!

Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 23:02

Because she has the person at her house, around her kids. Invites them to kids birthday parties, goes on day trips with them which involve other families too

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Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 23:03

She will be holding a special birthday party soon. The person will more than likely be attending, as will her friends with their kids.

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Shenanagins · 07/12/2015 23:06

No, I woul be happy at all. I would question why the suspected paedophile was hanging around the person who has access to children. It would also concern me about the judgement of someone who works with children hanging out with a suspected paedophile.

Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 23:12

Thank you shenanigans
This is my point exactly, I cannot go into exact detail about why she associates with this person without risking outing myself to anyone on here. The person who informed me of the situation knows everything and is part of the suspected paedophiles extended family. And has been advised off the record by the authorities to keep their kids as far away from the paedo as possible. The reason the paedo is not in jail is the CPS splitting hairs, I think without a doubt a jury would have returned a guilty verdict had it done to trial

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Theworldmakesnosense · 07/12/2015 23:13

*gone to trial even

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cleaty · 07/12/2015 23:14

I would question her judgement.

StarOnTheTree · 07/12/2015 23:23

I would be absolutely bloody livid.

If that person wants to take risks with her own kids (though I don't agree that she should be allowed to in this case) then so be it. But if I found out that she was one of my friends and my kids had been around that person I would go ballistic. I trust my friends and I trust the DC friend's parents so to find that they'd been putting my kids at risk would mean the end of that friendship. And I'd make sure that everyone knew why.

ReallyTired · 07/12/2015 23:30

If you have worries about this person either contact social services or her employer. There was a suggestion that people who lived with criminals should be barred from employment but it gets unfair and unworkable.

www.nurseryworld.co.uk/nursery-world/news/1150895/disqualification-rules-ineffective-say-providers

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