New nursery expects all potential pupils be potty trained, even the 2 year olds.

[FundraisingPTABitch]

That's it really. I'm new to this part of town, and so is this nursery.

When I enquired with the admin about this policy, they said every potential pupil must be potty trained.

AIBU to think this nursery can just fuck off? I will potty train my little child when both the child and I are both ready.

Ludicrous. Irresponsible! Elitist!

DS1 is 22. When he was 2 it was pretty much the universally applied rule that kids had to be potty trained for playgroup type nurseries. And most children were trained by 2 and a half or so.

Of course, it will not be possible for every child, but it is for most. I find the drift to ever later toilet training very strange. I think the nappy manufacturers have done a number on us.

I feel like it's discriminatory purely because some children just can't be potty trained at 2 years old.

All children are different. My older child has SEN and he was potty trained at 2.5 years old. It took him one day and I didn't have to explain my directions to him more than once. We didn't need to do the rewards chart or anything. My middle child has no learning difficulties and she wasn't ready until she was almost 3.

My last child has just turned two the other day, and I haven't even broached the subject with her. I think it's elitist based on some kids training quicker than others. Granted, it's a little out there but still not fair.

Irresponsible: because if I had been a first time mother new to this area and had no other choice than I would feel like a failed parents because my child wasn't ready at 2 yrs old.

With my first child, I felt a failure quite often--not realising that all he needed was me to love him and let him be him and learn at his pace. I would have been a far different mother to him had I ignored the pressures of first time parenting.

Tinklylittle 22 years ago children who weren't 'able' to be potty trained at 2 years went to special school or stayed at home.

I don't think the nappy manufacturers influence this.

We have moved on to a more inclusive society.

You say this is a new nursery? They will drop this policy soon enough or shut down for lack of pupils.

"Excluding a child due to continence issues is discriminatory TwoSmelly, just like you can't say "oh we don't take children with hearing impairments at this school/nursery"."

They do seem to be able to say that though. A good friend had awful trouble finding childcare and even a suitable school for her hearing impaired daughter. She's very active with a related charity and fought the local authority to get into the school so she's absolutely up to fight it out if she thought she could. but she had awful trouble finding a nursery who would accept her DD

The nursery can 'insist' all they want but they are in breach of the Equality act if they discriminate against children in nappies, whether SEN or NT.

Hellenbach the average age of potty training has risen markedly in the last twenty years. Why do you think that is? Who stands to gain from kids being in nappies longer?

I am all for an inclusive society, and no child should be discriminated against for not being potty trained. But the majority of kids can be trained by 2 and a half. Thus freeing up nursery staff to do jobs other than changing loads of nappies.

Very few people are going to potty train to please the nursery though. Nursery will not have the kids they need.

We started at 2, I'd not have asked a nursery when to do it.

sadly I too have read that; parents returning to work sooner, disposable nappies, and better washer driers have influenced the trend to toilet train later. not many years ago the average age of tt was 18mths.

My son started at a nursery where you had to be potty trained and he wasn't, so even in the short sessions he was wetting. They were quick enough to say he could come in pull-ups, as those weren't "nappies". That's how we got around it.

When I did potty-train him we had to do that outside nursery hours. He did get there in the end and was wearing pants to nursery again by end of the year.

People used to potty train earlier because before disposables were around, parents had to clean and wash nappies themselves. They called it elimination communication rather than potty training and would try and catch the elimination from a bare bottomed baby. I wonder how many 1/just 2 year olds were reliably dry?

YANBU!
My LO will be 2 in a couple of months...no way is he potty trained!
We haven't even started trying.
He goes to nursery and there is no rule like this as far as I know.
However he's still in the baby room.

enderwoman elimination training is something different.
My eldest child is 26 , he was completely potty trained by his 2nd birthday, and that was considered completely normal then. I still know parents who potty train at that age, my own grandson was, that's because his mum took advice from her Mum and not a health visitor or a parenting site. I think a lot of parents still do that. The main difference is (IMO) it was something you actively taught the child rather than just 'waiting until they are ready' and no pullups. They didn't exist for my eldest and I never used them for my younger 2 either. I believe they hinder toilet training, so you could say it is the nappy companies who are responsible.

I worked in a nursery in the 80's. All the children were trained to use the toilet. Accidents were not common.

I agree it sounds discriminatory.

We've had free childcare for 2 yr olds who fit certain criteria here for a while now - starting the term after the 2nd birthday, so these 2 yr olds could potentially be as young as 2 yrs and 1 day when they start nursery - and 2 yr olds with a SEN statement or who get a disability living allowance are specifically mentioned as among those eligible for the free hours. Depending on the SEN /disability, those children might find potty training harder than normal.

Plus as pp say, a 2 yr old may have an as yet undiagnosed SEN / developmental problem.

DS1 wasn't reliably potty trained until some months after he turned 3. It just didn't seem to click with him till then.

Well mine are in their mid 30s and they were all potty trained by 18 months. As others have said, that's what you did when you had to wash nappies. They slept through the night in their own cots, in their own room, at six weeks too.

I think there are a lot of people on this thread with rose tinted glasses in! I have been a childcare professional for almost 40 years and in all that time the average age of a child being toilet trained has always been 2.5-3.5

Yes there were children trained by 2, yes there were children still in nappies at 4, but these weren't 'the norms'

Any childcare provider taking children under the age of 5 should take children in nappies, special needs or not. Any childcare facility should have provision for changing regardless of the age of the child and any childcare worker who refuses to change and clean a child of any age in any situation should not be working with children.

If I were the OP I would be calling Ofsted for clarification and finding a more suitable nursery for the child.

Rightly or wrongly, this was quite standard until about 10 years ago for most playgroups and pre-schools, most of which were for ages 2-5.

An increased awareness of the need to be inclusive for DC with SEN plus the growth of childcare for under-twos killed it off to a large extent.

There were usually a few parents panicking a bit in the run up to second birthdays and some delaying entry by a few weeks, but most managed it. Of course there were more SEN nurseries then and more funding for them.

Thing is as they get older its actually easier/ and quicker for staff to change nappies than supervise wiping and them in bathroom.
(As dd came home in the same nappy after a 7hr day several times.)
She PT at 3.5 as i was pg during her 2s and couldnt have lifted her onto toilet then bf when she turned 3.
However since PT weve had utis, bathroom flooded at nursery, hand foot and mouth (passed on in faeces)
Weve had a lot of wee incidents done on purpose.
I think the later PT is to protect leoples furniture.
But also people spend a lot of time in the car or town centres which now dont have toilets

Well mine are in their mid 30s and they were all potty trained by 18 months. As others have said, that's what you did when you had to wash nappies. They slept through the night in their own cots, in their own room, at six weeks too

Well, lucky you. Mine are the same age. DS1 didn't sleep through the night till he was 2 1/2. All 3 were potty trained by just over two.

My DGC weren't ready until 3.

None of us were prepared to spend hours sitting them fruitlessly on a potty in the hopes of catching something. When they were ready themselves, dry day and night in a week with only a couple of 'accidents'.

I just don't think anyone should be pushing when a parent decides to potty train. I mean if a child is 3, 4 even 5 maybe they can talk about what the average age is; but I don't know anyone who trained their kid by 2.

I'm curious - those of you who seem to have the attitude that leaving potty training until after 2 years is an insidious evil that undermines the very fabric of society (I may be exaggerating a little for effect)... why?

I did everything "wrong" when I potty trained DS (now 10) - used pullups, took weeks rather than the 36 seconds promised by the Gina Ford book. It took several quite relaxed weeks when he was some age between 2.5 and 3 (frankly I really can't quite remember). Dry as a bone since.

Yay me . But he wasn't 2. Boo me

Would I have won something if he'd been a few months younger?

It is illegal to require children to be potty trained - it is disability discrimination.