New nursery expects all potential pupils be potty trained, even the 2 year olds.

[FundraisingPTABitch]

That's it really. I'm new to this part of town, and so is this nursery.

When I enquired with the admin about this policy, they said every potential pupil must be potty trained.

AIBU to think this nursery can just fuck off? I will potty train my little child when both the child and I are both ready.

Ludicrous. Irresponsible! Elitist!

Of course children who were still in nappies were excluded from nursery, which was not good. But I can not remember any toddlers who were not dry during the day at 3 amongst friends and neighbours. Some still had accidents at night time.

It was common for children to be toilet trained at 2 then. Now it seems far less common.

I do not support a nursery excluding children on this basis. But I am surprised at a whole range of things that many children these days don't seem to learn until they are much older than in the recent past.

It was common for children to be toilet trained at 2 then.

But it really wasn't was it... you've said it yourself, they were just hidden away .

those who weren't potty trained at two were excluded from things, so you didn't see them.

I'm sure that lots of children were excluded from nurseries - and of course many did not go to any form of group before school. (I had only one term of nursery, and that was only because my mother was working at the time).

But the expected norm for NT children was no later than two. And that's what happened. Toilet timing (high adult input) was followed by engrained habit reliability, followed by reliability in all circumstances.

(It's a little like tying shoelaces. Children then were expected to be able to deal with them before they started school, and the vast majority did. Nowadays, with Velcro, children don't need to learn so early and generally they don't. The children haven't changed. But the expectation of when something can be achieved with a bit of practice definitely has).

I also in one job looked after 2 children who were deemed by Social Services to have been neglected. One of the proofs of this was that although they were 3.5 and 5 years old, no attempt had been made to toilet train them. I had to help toilet train them. Social Services were clear that a 3.5 year old child should be toilet trained by that age.

tiggytape - But that is not what would have been deemed toilet trained then either.

I also in one job looked after 2 children who were deemed by Social Services to have been neglected. One of the proofs of this was that although they were 3.5 and 5 years old, no attempt had been made to toilet train them.

Yes.... That would still be neglect today.

The voice of reason from nokidshere.

Most pre disposable nappy parents claim that their children were potty trained before the age of 2. MIL claims that SIL was toilet trained by 13 months. I think she is delusional because SIL had plenty of "accidents".

I started putting DD on the potty at 18 months and she just wasn't interested and didn't "get" it at all. I tried it 6 months later and no result, then tried 4 months later and she cracked it within 3 days. Looking back it was clear that DD simply wasn't ready before then. Because DD was ready she didn't have any accidents. She was dry at night a month later.

How many of these parents who claim that there children were out of nappies well before the age of two can honestly say that they didn't have the odd accident?

I think another aspect that everyone has overlooked is that a wet terry nappy must have been very uncomfortable compared to an extremely absorbent disposable nappy, so it is possible that the discomfort of a wet nappy got through to the child more easily.

cleaty you have this weird idea in your head that parents are now waiting until their children are 4 to start trying to potty train...

This doesn't happen now and it's never happened.

most children are still trained by 3.5.

It is discriminatory, because it is only allowing those who have the cognitive and physical ability to be potty trained, and disallowing those kids who have got some form of SN, who are not able to be potty trained at the allocated time. The nursery obviously do not have a clue about child development, the ability to potty train is a developmental process, like walking and talking, some children reach that at different times, some can be earlier, some later. If a toddler, lacks the cognitive and physical and psychological ability to be potty trained, you cannot do this. You can lead a horse to water, but cannot make it drink. I would complain to OFSTEAD about the nursery. It is not right, that alone would be a dealbreaker.

Okay I am going to leave this thread. There seems no point when so many keep claiming that those of saying that most children used to be toilet trained by 2 are delusional, lying, wearing rose tinted spectacles, or that they were not really toilet trained.

Read up on this. There is research to show that most children were toilet trained before 2 years of age in the recent past. And yes, toilet trained. Not having frequent accidents.

To quote the bloody marvellous Bernard Black 'Expect away!'

My ds is nearly 4, and is not yet potty trained, we have tried everything, rewards, discipline, being relaxed, chocolate. Her has a developmental delay of about 1.5 years, and a speech and lang delay to match, also he is not interested. So what do we do! The Enurisis clinic will not take him until he is 7. He is starting to get it, and is going to the toilet, but too late. He will get there in his own time. Thank god his school attached nursery is fantastic and has no stupid rule. I put him in a pull up and they take him to the toilet every half hour there, I reinforce that at home by putting him in pants and joggers, and reminding him to go and rewarding him with chocolate when he makes the effort. If I took him every half an hour, he will cry and shout, that is not the objective.

Okay I am going to leave this thread. There seems no point when so many keep claiming that those of saying that most children used to be toilet trained by 2 are delusional, lying, wearing rose tinted spectacles, or that they were not really toilet trained

But the facts don't agree.

There is research to show that most children were toilet trained before 2 years of age in the recent past.

Your own posts went from 2 to 3.5 as the age it was considered normal...

If this nursery/pre school try to insist on this they are breaking the law. Frankly I wouldn't use them at all if they think k they can flout the equalities act.

Toddlers will potty train at different ages, my eldest was 18mths, he literally did it himself. Ds2 and ds3 were two and a half? Ds4 was three and a half. Then dd was two and a half again.

I didn't do anything differently with any of them. They got it when they were ready, with minimal accidents.

cleaty, back in the day when I was 3, 35 years ago, I was out of nappies at 3.5. years according to my mum. I was in cloth nappies.

jason it was still common. Those who still needed nappies were in the minority. That is allowing for the occassional accident, and sometimes having to take or remind the child. No one expected 2 year olds to use the toilet or potty completely independently.
My eldest was just short of 2 when he started using the toilet, and some people I knew thought that was late.

Children used to start nursery toilet trained... This is true, because they didn't allow the unpotty train ones.

There are 1600 children who start school in nappies, just over one per school... Which is accounted for by the increase of children with SN in mainstream. The ones that used to be shoved to "special group"

It's always the same names on these threads, inordinately smug that their progeny toilet trained so young, expressing faux bemusement that other children aren't (with the snidey implication that it's because of lazy parenting).

You can't compare a non-potty trained baby or toddler to a child or adult with additional needs or a disability which results in incontinence. It's infantilising and it demeans and trivialises those with genuine disability. If it's discrimination against the toddler then it's not discrimination under the same Act, surely? I mean seriously, that would be a fucking nutty.

jason it was still common. Those who still needed nappies were in the minority. That is allowing for the occassional accident, and sometimes having to take or remind the child. No one expected 2 year olds to use the toilet or potty completely independently.
My eldest was just short of 2 when he started using the toilet, and some people I knew thought that was late.

Nothing has changed. read lizi311 second post in this thread. [url]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/potty_training/2518949-potty-training-a-2-year-old-help[/url]

Identical situation.