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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

Deleting this thread to "protect a poster's privacy"

229 replies

thelouise · 04/12/2015 21:24

In a nutshell; poster throws a strop and doesn't like the answers they are getting.

AIBU to think it's a massive cop out?

OP posts:

MelcombeBingham · 05/12/2015 12:36

Seeing as they attack people for inferior choices of driving/working/socialising/coping with husband's heart attacks/parenting I think it is relevant. 90% of threads have the same 5 posters comment something unhelpful or a passive aggressive emoticon suggesting that they are lying. If they had a life how would they manage to do that?

reni2 · 05/12/2015 12:40

Whereas you, Melcombe attack people for either not driving or not working. Yes, I can see that's totally different.

MelcombeBingham · 05/12/2015 12:42

Not people. A specific gang of about 5 sad little bullies who have affected many people when they were vulnerable. They deserve it.

M48294Y · 05/12/2015 12:44

I find Melcombe's contributions on this thread strangely weird and compelling. It obviously makes you feel better to spray ridiculous accusations around Melcombe - you do what you have to do to feel better about yourself eh? Very clever of you not to name any names so that no one can accuse you of bullying.

BooleanOperator · 05/12/2015 12:45

Sparkling I know what you mean as that's kind of what happened in my thread that got moved a few weeks ago, but it's not always clear to someone who is in a tricky situation what is relevant and what isn't, until you post and people reply "we need to know exactly what X is to advise you".

By that point, the thread has already begun and you've got to decide on whether to say a bit more (and risk outing yourself/everyone involved) or walk away either no advice at all, when you need help that you can't get in real life.

It's easy to say with the benefit of either hindsight or objectivity "you shouldn't have posted in the first place".

APlaceOnTheCouch · 05/12/2015 12:46

If it was the social services thread, I didn't post on it but I did report it to MNHQ. On the strength of the OP alone, there was a lot of identifying info and pics. Bugger all to do with the bunfight.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 05/12/2015 12:48

I think if you can't give all the relevant info to enable people to help without fear of outing yourself or someone else it's probably best to not post in the first place.

No Sparkling, there is a veritable Grand Canyon between what really is relevant and what people think is relevant. When an inquisition gets going, an OP either has to answer all queries or be deemed a troll. (It's nothing to do with royalty or having jobs or cars, though.)

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2015 12:49

Sorry I didn't mean to sound all 'just don't post' Boole, I can totally see how it happens. it's not until the questions start that the poster realises they probably shouldn't have posted and has a bit of a panic about the way forward while everyone else is squabbling over what may or may not have happened.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 05/12/2015 12:50

Melcombe is there something specific that you're alluding to? Because quite honestly it all went a bit weird from the point that you started the 'never leaving the house' thing.

SilentBob · 05/12/2015 12:50

Melcombe "The fuckers take liberties with..."

I see what you did there.

To be honest, I am struggling to find any reason at all that you are still on MN? Not that it's any of mine, but still, it's a bit bizarre.

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2015 12:51

They don't have to answer any questions STL they can even hide the thread and walk away if they want. People can totally control what they post.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 05/12/2015 12:52

You're made of stern stuff Sparkling

Egosumquisum · 05/12/2015 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

reni2 · 05/12/2015 12:57

There was an OP recently who did the flounce of the year by posting an email MNHQ had sent her about being quite a bully on a number of threads, so clearly MNHQ do go after people who post very unhelpful stuff. So if you think somebody is just goady on several threads, Melcombe I suggest you report their posts, MNHQ do react.

ilovesooty · 05/12/2015 12:59

I think Melcombe is being goady herself by referring to a small number of specific posters like this.

MelcombeBingham · 05/12/2015 13:00

I was affected by the bullying. I like MN and the other 90% of people (like the people who have messaged me who feel the same) and I also enjoy watching out for bullying and reporting it. Plus, I am overseas for work and have nothing better to do.
I DO hate those people. They were so fucking nasty to me when I was not in a position to defend myself.

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2015 13:00

I wish I was STL. If I was I would do less thread hiding and more saying what I really thought though.

IrisVillarca · 05/12/2015 13:03

MN is definitely a money making enterprise, but you can't hold that against it.
It might be annoying if you have got a bit over-invested in a thread to see it go pffffft but they really do have to err on the side of caution if a member asks for a thread/posting history to be deleted. Imagine what a kerfuffle there would be if something did happen to an OP as a consequence of not stopping to consider if it was wise to post potentially Outy stuff.

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 05/12/2015 13:04

There was an OP recently who did the flounce of the year by posting an email MNHQ had sent her about being quite a bully on a number of threads, so clearly MNHQ do go after people who post very unhelpful stuff. So if you think somebody is just goady on several threads, Melcombe I suggest you report their posts, MNHQ do react.

And conversely they can see the full picture across NCs, so a poster's net contribution might be more supportive than you have noticed.

On the back of one brouhaha a while back, several people admitted to having one NN to be grouchy/outspoken/brutally honest under and another for more measured/chatty/daily use so clearly MNHQ can see things the rest of us can't

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2015 13:08

I like the idea of having an outspoken arsey argumentative alter-ego NN. I might give that a whirl over Christmas.

ilovesooty · 05/12/2015 13:11

I don't think you will Sparkling. You're a decent person and decent people don't behave like that.

Egosumquisum · 05/12/2015 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MelcombeBingham · 05/12/2015 13:12

I reported my bullies but they refused to delete even though I was distraught. I couldn't bear seeing people picking my husband's heart attack to bits, trying to work out the location, "seriously doubting" details about his treatment etc. I asked them Many times and had over 40 private messages offering support and apologising for the bitches. I just passed it all to my lawyer in the end and it was removed within about 5 minutes.

Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2015 13:16

Cheers sooty. I probably wouldn't last long.

Ego I would be a dog lover living in the city, who loves Centre Parcs and Disney World. I would swap my teens for 6 month old boy/girl twins and have a holiday home in Bermuda.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 05/12/2015 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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