Deleting this thread to "protect a poster's privacy"

[thelouise]

In a nutshell; poster throws a strop and doesn't like the answers they are getting.

AIBU to think it's a massive cop out?

I agree with what ThenLater said.

Perhaps there should be a 'Are you sure you should post this?' flash up after pressing post just in case you are about to give too much away.

I have identified two family members on mn just by stumbling across their posts, without even trying. One of them is still around with regular name changes. I still recognise her just from the way she writes and things she says.

I have never recognised anyone on here. If I did and they were over sharing I would let them know. If they are just on here chatting like everyone else I wouldn't do anything.

Some people post when they are vulnerable and looking for help any help really its nothing to do with strops its over sharing imo.

1. Websites can choose to delete what they want. I write that into their rules.

No one is "paying their dues" to be on here as we get the site free.

1. The wisest advice is if in doubt delete to all websites. You rarely get into legal trouble for taking something down but often do for keeping it up.

1. More generally I am absolutely appalled at the way the family courts and court of protection have been cloaked in secrecy as are many lawyers and as indeed are some senior judges who feel confidentiality supposedly to "protect the children" is just used to protect others. The odds and power are stacked so much against parents that if I were that parent I would be publishing just about anythinng I could all over the place as sometimes if you cannot afford good lawyers and experts you lose your children but occasionally publicity does help you keep your children. Most of us would be prepared to die to keep our children so it's a very emotive and difficult topic.

Ultimately, I think the provisions MN has to protect privacy are staying, no matter how much some people complain about them. It's like name changing, some people really don't like it but the existence of this facility is one of the reasons people are content to post quite in depth stuff about their lives. And the presence of that in depth stuff is one of the main reasons MN is so popular. The reach of this site is such that most people posting on it are almost certain to have other friends and relatives who do too, so it matters.

Yes, StrawberryTeaLeaf, it was ironic.

Although to be honest I think irony should be banned from the Internet. (I don't think irony should be banned from the Internet.)

I asked for a thread to be deleted recently because I'd posted in AIBU about a family situation and I'd posted it in a very vague way to protect my identity.

As the thread progressed people said that in order to give a proper answer to whether those involved were BU they needed to know more about the event I was talking about, and so I said what it was.

Unfortunately, that means that I could be narrowed down to one of a handful of people! So I asked for the thread to be deleted, but HQ said could I consider instead just deleting some if the identifying details and moving the thread somewhere quieter, which I did.

So I dint rhink it's something they do lightly.

Although to be honest I think irony should be banned from the Internet. (I don't think irony should be banned from the Internet.)

I have a secret FB group for one called 'sarcasm-net'. Nobody ever misconstrues anything in there. It's very refreshing - try it

I'd have a look were I a FB user but I'm not for it is the very work of the Devil*.

• Despite my words I am not suggesting FB users are disciples of the Devil.

I agree that certain posters mn royalty can go on berating posters bullying them for a long time for spurious reasons. There is often a bit of a pack mentality too, where others just jump.

A good example I can think off is a couple of threads where the op had said they don't put pull ups on their bed wetting child, for various reasons, including that medical professionals advise against them as they mean that the child is not aware of the bed wetting. Certain posters have gone on to berate the poster at length regarding this, launching personal attacks as well.

Mnhq has rather spurious reasons for deletion too, which are most certainly not consistently applied.

It's because they are a business and the bullying is entertaining. That's what sells the nappy adverts. People go on like this forum is a place that is there to promote what they believe to be right and good and that, because they post 23 hours a day, they have some kind of superior ststus when ironically it just makes them deeply sad and probably disadvantaged individuals who are unable to leave their house. I would feel sorry for them but then don't deserve it.

I disagree with the mn royalty and pack mentality accusations. I am relatively new to mn and the well known posters fall into well known goady fuckers (rare) and well known quite supportive ones. If you constantly bully people you won't be on here long enough to become royalty, you'll be banned.

Goady bullies are almost always newish or namechangers.

As for the "pack mentality", this and "ganging up" are accusations that come out when several posters disagree with the OP. It is just possible that the OP was in fact unreasonable so it is no surprise several posters will say so.

Usual suspects indeed. The fuckers take liberties with people's feelings. Pity them though for they are damaged and fragile souls.

I agree with reni2 on the whole. And talking about MN royalty and bullying then crossing it out just makes you look ridiculous.

deeply sad and probably disadvantaged individuals who are unable to leave their house.

You don't have to stay in the house to MN do you?

I think implying that being housebound makes people sad and inadequate is bang out of order.

No but they clearly are not out and about in the world. It's pretty obvious they are not living as normal members of society with jobs and cars and the like.

Melcombe it sounds as if you don't like MN, either the posters or MNHQ. Describing posters as 'not living as normal members of society with jobs and cars' is a strange statement.

normal members of society with jobs and cars

Yes it's those weirdo pedestrians I don't trust. They leave the house to pretend to be 'normal' but then they refuse to own cars. Freaks.

The retirees are a bit suspect too

I once started a thread about some worries I have over a family member's severe mental health issues. However, the family member is on mn so I was trying to keep details to a minimum. I soon realised that I could not get across the real issues without revealing too much so the replies were not really relevant to the problem and I was getting more and more worried the family member might recognise the situation. I asked mn if they could remove the thread and they kindly obliged. No whinging or stropping involved. I'd have loved to have kept it going and got advice as the family member is still really suffering and I don't have a clue what to do.

I wish I knew who mn royalty are. And do they know that they are the mn royalty when they get mentioned like on this thread?

Sometimes an OP has such scant details it's very hard to help or form an opinion. If you ask questions that gets frowned upon and the OP feels bullied if a few people do it, so then reading between the lines starts and the OP gets all frustrated, but can't say what they want to.

I think if you can't give all the relevant info to enable people to help without fear of outing yourself or someone else it's probably best to not post in the first place.