AIBU to want to fight the school powermum?

[newforester]

First time post, registered with mumsnet to get this off my chest actually! My children's school has a power mum. Helps in the school office (100 kids, small school), goes to all headmaster coffee mornings, lives v close to headmaster, on the PTA etc. She wins the 'guess the bear's name' competition at the xmas fayre after whispering that she won nothing in the raffle. She brings her dog into school with her, no-one else does. I am a reasonably intelligent person. I don't want her status, I just REALLY resent her overpowering status. Am I just bitter and twisted, should I grumble into my cheap wine or say something?

The dog is a concern. The rest, not so much.

I remember at DDs nursery, she got the role of Mary in the nativity and a mum asked me about it. When I told her what role DD got she said 'well yes, obviously' in a really sarcastic way.
I don't have a shitting dog though.
It's very confusing.

*Ilovesooty:'What was the bear's name?' Hahaha that really made me laugh

oh capriniha...you made me laugh out loud there. i do recognise this annoying parent though....mum or dad....and in my kids year god only knows how they managed when the kids moved up to secondary. the loss for them must have been mega.

BurningBridges Fri 04-Dec-15 23:04:44

actually BB makes a good point here. why do mumsnetters pretend this doesn't happen?

In fact, you know what, OP?

Go run a school. Just try it, for a term. Manage the ridiculously tight budget; hit the insanely over-inflated targets; make sure you don't miss a beat in terms of child protection, of course; look after the staff, and ensure they are all motivated whilst implementing an inforced performance pay related scheme; and all the while keep up positive, proactive communication with the parents who have entrusted their children to your care.

Introduce a programme of outside learning, and make sure no child is excluded from it. Ensure they all Make Progress, according to limited, but rigid, criteria.

Don't forget breakfast club. And homework club.

Constant, constant CPD, of course.

And then, OP, let's see how important this "power mum" is to you. How much she influences you. What priority you give her kids.

Let's see how much time you have for petty politics.

I think you might be surprised.

That parent who is getting your knickers in a twist? She only matters to you.

Fucking volunteers coming in and helping and shit.

GRRRRRrrr stuff like this really pisses me off.

Well it might if I ever noticed such things but I have a job and stuff to be getting on with so I can't say I've ever noticed it.

OP, could you move in with the headteacher? That'd learn her!

Challenge her to a duel, school playground at dawn.

Either kill her or get over it.
Remember that one day her dc will have to fight it out with your dc who have more experience at standing on their own two feet.
Unless they're rich and go to private school later on.

My dc won the name the bear competition 2 years running at school. Wouldn't have been so embarrassing if dd2 hadn't announced it loudly that dd1 had won the previous year.

In your shoes, I'd email and complain about the poo. Let the rest flow past you

It sounds like a real-life version of the casual vacancy to me

Next time a vacancy for parent governor comes up, volunteer. That will give you more genuine power than she has.

What Tatty said.

One day she'll have to go and get herself a life.

multivac

I disagree. IME teachers let little advantages slide, for a peaceful life, because these parents (and it's not always women) have time, education, assertiveness, an email account and a bit of knowledge on their side.

For the life of me I will never understand the angst over picking children up from school. Go in, pick child up, go home. What on earth is all this bollocks about power mums etc? If you want to influence the school in some way OP then become a parent governor.

Every school as one of these. Or rather every school my kids have been to.

But I also accept that they do a lot more than me in the school.

I don't think it's normal to want to fight another person who hasn't done anything personal to you.

Do you get involved in the school?

Complain about the dog shit and leave it there.

There appears to be no problem here other than the dog on school premises. I'm afraid you sound jealous to me.

why do mumsnetters pretend this doesn't happen?

Perhaps, just perhaps, they are at a school where it doesn't happen. Like I am.

I've seen it happen in the NCT branch I volunteered with. It was nasty bullying there.

'The only people who believe in 'powerful parents', in the context of running a school, are parents. Anxious, over-compensating parents'

In our school, the powerful parents are the anxious, over-compensating parents.

I have known two of these. One overstepped the mark and got sent away with a flea in her ear, after a year or so of slagging off the school to anyone who would listen she pulled her DCs out and has now moved away from the town. The other is still in situ and is annoying with her know it all attitude / divide and conquer strategy amongst the parents, but I don't think she has any real influence.

I think you should sneak into her house, find the bear she won, rip it's head off and put it in her bed.

I work in a school where we wished the parents did give more of a shiny shit.

Not all schools have a brigade of pushy, know it fucking all parents.

How's the head this morning OP?