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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to fight the school powermum?

187 replies

newforester · 04/12/2015 20:55

First time post, registered with mumsnet to get this off my chest actually! My children's school has a power mum. Helps in the school office (100 kids, small school), goes to all headmaster coffee mornings, lives v close to headmaster, on the PTA etc. She wins the 'guess the bear's name' competition at the xmas fayre after whispering that she won nothing in the raffle. She brings her dog into school with her, no-one else does. I am a reasonably intelligent person. I don't want her status, I just REALLY resent her overpowering status. Am I just bitter and twisted, should I grumble into my cheap wine or say something?

OP posts:
nanodragon · 04/12/2015 21:55

Venusrising gives good advice. Back away !!

multivac · 04/12/2015 21:58

Here's an idea, OP. Make yourself 'important', if it really matters that much to you. Give your time. Your energy. Your ideas. Your effort.

Otherwise... well, you could try growing up, and getting over whatever the hell your issue is.

cruikshank · 04/12/2015 22:08

I think multivac has been taking his/her dog into school again ...

viioletsarentblue · 04/12/2015 22:11

The type of parent op describes usually suffers once their children reach Secondary.

They are no longer able to go in with them and hang around the teaching staff 24/7, or spend large amounts of time in the playground in cliquey groups.

It's a case of Drop off and Pick up. I almost feel sorry for them

Marshy · 04/12/2015 22:12

cruikshank Grin

Op...please don't make yourself important.

viioletsarentblue · 04/12/2015 22:14

cruikshank Smile

Penygirl · 04/12/2015 22:14

I hope you feel better about it now you have let off steam OP but apart from the dog poo, there doesn't seem to be anything worth fighting over.

SarahSavesTheDay · 04/12/2015 22:20

All the heads I know (very few, admittedly) are friendly but aloof. I'm terrified of ours. I don't recognise this gossipy feedback loop.

CastaDiva · 04/12/2015 22:25

Is the fact that the dog is pedigree important? Is she shagging the Head? Did you really want the damn bear, or whatever you win in the raffle?

She sounds tragically over-involved to me, if her entire life revolves around a school she's not even employed by - maybe she's lonely and desperately seeking a purpose in life???

viioletsarentblue · 04/12/2015 22:27

I wonder what the bear's name was Hmm

WorraLiberty · 04/12/2015 22:33

Ask yourself why it bothers you so much.

Then do something useful, like get yourself on the governing body or something.

Or just drop your kid at school/pick your kid up without worrying yourself about this.

Hoppinggreen · 04/12/2015 22:33

I would love to take dahn the school power Mum, especially since the bitch beat me to Parent Gvernor by ONE FECKING VOTE!!!!
Unfortunately she is actually a really nice kind person who would do anything for anyone and can't really help being totally perfect.

msgrinch · 04/12/2015 22:42

Mention the dog poo but other than that you're being unreasonable and sound bitchy.

BurningBridges · 04/12/2015 23:04

I must be unreasonable too then as I know this woman only too well, she exists all over the place. In our school she also made sure her children got the starring role in all the plays, won all the prizes at the school disco, never got pulled up for bullying. her kids were prefects, chosen for every privilege and given every advantage. She influenced the head on everything from which teachers to employ to which builders to choose.

I understand 100% where the OP is coming from.

I also know how Head teachers can be influenced and even bullied by parents like this. Once I was asked to come into a school to do some consultancy and that also involved trying to placate Powermum members of the PTA. Why do people on Mumsnet pretend this doesn't happen or it doesn't matter?

multivac · 04/12/2015 23:09

...because you sound a little unhinged, perhaps, BB? I mean, just a tad.

Caprinihahahaha · 04/12/2015 23:11

All my children are teenagers, been through lots of schools, never met such a creature.
There is a massive brown nose at a local club though. Does that count?
Although she doesn't have a dog

BertrandRussell · 04/12/2015 23:12

Some people really do have rich fantasy lives..........

Mmmmcake123 · 04/12/2015 23:15

Mmm I can see why it might be irritating but are you sure it's not just a case of you not wanting or having the time to do something, but not wanting anyone else to do it either?
Take a step back or Harry Hill it and let us know the details xxx

BurningBridges · 04/12/2015 23:18

What did you call the bear Multi? Hmm

Caprinihahahaha · 04/12/2015 23:20

The bear was called FuckYouAndTheHorseYouRodeInOn.

TheoriginalLEM · 04/12/2015 23:28

Shes fucking the head teacher...the dirty bitch.

Caprinihahahaha · 04/12/2015 23:29

I send my children to really dull schools

Slowjog · 04/12/2015 23:39

I recognise the gossipy feedback loop. Our head was certainly manipulated by some powerful parents.

multivac · 04/12/2015 23:42

THE BEAR! TELL ME WHAT YOU CALLED THE BEAR!

multivac · 04/12/2015 23:49

The only people who believe in 'powerful parents', in the context of running a school, are parents. Anxious, over-compensating parents.

Well, in the public sector, anyway. Perhaps when everyone gets a very specific bill at the end of term it becomes a little more... customer-driven.

I doubt it, though. Teachers - up to and including senior leaders - tend to do the job for reasons other than currying favour with paranoid mummies and daddies.