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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to fight the school powermum?

187 replies

newforester · 04/12/2015 20:55

First time post, registered with mumsnet to get this off my chest actually! My children's school has a power mum. Helps in the school office (100 kids, small school), goes to all headmaster coffee mornings, lives v close to headmaster, on the PTA etc. She wins the 'guess the bear's name' competition at the xmas fayre after whispering that she won nothing in the raffle. She brings her dog into school with her, no-one else does. I am a reasonably intelligent person. I don't want her status, I just REALLY resent her overpowering status. Am I just bitter and twisted, should I grumble into my cheap wine or say something?

OP posts:
AnnekaRice · 04/12/2015 21:21

don't fight her
but I understand Wine sounds grating - think they can be especially noticeable in smaller schools

Caprinihahahaha · 04/12/2015 21:21

Definitely fight her. Life is more interesting with a pointless grudge.
Do it.

dayswithaY · 04/12/2015 21:22

Every school has a Mum like this, you will never take her down they are indestructible! They normally operate by showering the Head with compliments and reporting back on what the school gate Mums are saying so the Head then becomes dependent upon them. They know everything and use their status to get their little darlings to win everything, get picked every time etc. Our one was so corrupt she could give Fifa a run for their money. Let her have her pathetic bit of power, once her children have left the school she will be a nobody again, ignore!

spanisharmada · 04/12/2015 21:23

You definitely have a point about the dog

ImogenTubbs · 04/12/2015 21:24

Sounds a bit annoying, but it doesn't really sound like she's done anything wrong. YABU.

SecretBondGirl · 04/12/2015 21:24

God what is it about our dcs starting school which makes usually well adjusted adults revert back to being 10 years old again

viioletsarentblue · 04/12/2015 21:24

Seriously OP, I'm sure Headteachers aren't stupid.
I bet they soon work out who the resident, brown nosing bullshitters are.

Let her get on with it. It's not really affecting you.

MovemberSucks · 04/12/2015 21:26

Dog poo is gross. Perhaps you could ask the headmaster to remind all the parents that a school is not an appropriate place for dogs and that dog waste could potentially be brought into the school on the feet of the pupils which would be unhealthy.

Don't get into a fight with her, nobody will involve themselves on either side, and anyway it's a pointless waste of energy. Just address any particular issues that are a problem by naming the issue and not naming her.

Caprinihahahaha · 04/12/2015 21:27

I know a really stupid headteacher. Perhaps she's the exception that proves the rule?

viioletsarentblue · 04/12/2015 21:29

They normally operate by showering the Head with compliments and reporting back on what the school gate Mums are saying so the Head then becomes dependent upon them.

True, there are types like this in every school.

OP you need to work on your ass-licking skills.

StrapOnDodo · 04/12/2015 21:31

I just can't believe she has time to do all that and has 100 kids Shock

RoseWithoutAThorn · 04/12/2015 21:32

They normally operate by showering the Head with compliments and reporting back on what the school gate Mums are saying so the Head then becomes dependent upon them

Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm an HT and don't think any of the parent volunteers have ever complimented me. I also don't listen to school gate gossip. I have never been, nor will ever be dependent on any parent volunteer. My school doesn't run on the hearsay of parent volunteers. Xmas Shock

80schild · 04/12/2015 21:34

I know the sort of personality you are talking about. I know someone like this and DS' nursery was filled with mothers like this (OMG I still cringe when I think of them). My suggestion is stand back and don't talk to yourself into hating her - it will not do your mental health any good.

Senpai · 04/12/2015 21:34

I know it's fun to knock arrogant people down a peg, but considering your child will be the one to ultimately be victim to any fall outs at the school, I'd leave it alone. Pick your battles.

Being obnoxious isn't a crime.

The only one that can make you feel inferior is you.

Nicegreenhandbag · 04/12/2015 21:34

OP, you have my sympathy. I know these type of mums and they are so annoying. Yes of course you should ignore her/grow up and all that but you're only reacting to her awful behaviour. No solutions sorry but I do understand.

viioletsarentblue · 04/12/2015 21:37

I think OP will regret this in the morning.

cruikshank · 04/12/2015 21:38

She does sound like a twat. But then, do you want to waste time thinking about a twat? No, of course not. Leave her to it. It's not impacting on your life, and I'm sure there are plenty of other people who think she's a twat as well.

I would say something about the dog though. Dogs should not be in schools. Obvs.

Notimefortossers · 04/12/2015 21:38

There's one in every school. Let them get on with it

viioletsarentblue · 04/12/2015 21:39

Her post has a bit too much info in it. Shock

The perils of Wine we never learn

SisterViktorine · 04/12/2015 21:44

This is a private school isn't it?

At DS's school there is a posse of sporty mummies (who look fecking awesome in leggings and teeny-weeny tops) who just dominate everything. They just get everywhere, matches of the game they play staged at drop off time, competing with unawares teams of mums from other local schools, slathering the HT with legging-clad love, getting him to play HT vs mummy-squad and then blog about it on the website.

Blah blah blah.

If some prep school is all they have in their lives then let them enjoy it!

pluck · 04/12/2015 21:45

Poo IN school is vile. If that was her dog, that was a seriously overstepped boundary, for which crime you may release the Hounds of Hell.

ChippyMinton · 04/12/2015 21:45

Would the dog be acceptable if it were a Heinz 57 rather than a pedigree?

Let it go and have some more Wine.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 04/12/2015 21:46

Ynbu. But I can guarantee you its like that in every school, in existence

AngryPrincess · 04/12/2015 21:50

Nope, you are allowed to want to fight her. (You're not going to actually do anything about it, except post on Mumsnet). You don't need to justify your feelings.

TattyDevine · 04/12/2015 21:54

Ugh, there's one in every school I'm afraid. Once her children have left the school there won't be much left for her, let her to it.