I absolutely hate working and believe it to be the worst thing about being an adult. AIBU?

[IntoTheSunset]

I'd like to allay any concerns that anyone might have about my work ethic firstly. No one has ever complained about it in any job I've had. I realise that people have to work. I just find it depressing that I will likely have to continue working into my sixties and beyond. I'm 42 and would gladly retire tomorrow if I could. I also don't like how a person's place in society is defined by their job ahead of anything else. Do any MNers feel similarly?

Thanks, OP. Sometimes I worry that it's just me who feels like that.

I have no intention of working again properly. I didn't enjoy it much, different levels and role though nothing high flying at all, I don't have the drive for work really. I am a student at the moment in my final year, its been tough to do with 4 young DC but I have loved it. I will carry on and do my masters and phd, hopefully part time so I can get more enjoyment from it, and then I will go back to being a very happy housewife. I have so many things I want to do, nothing that really costs - my personal interests are cheap but time consuming. DH doesn't earn much but enough to support us all and works as little as possible so we can spend as much time as possible together, sounds ridiculously soppy but that's what makes us happy so sod it :)

I did a job that didn't fit with who I am at it was horrible. I'd last until Thursday then usually there'd be tears.

So glad I changed.

I love my job. I wake up wanting to get at it. It's part of who I am and my colleagues are a fabulous bunch.

I also live being at home and having time to indulge my hobbies and potter a bit and spend time hanging out with the dc.
For me part time is great.
My job isn't brilliantly paid and I'd far rather find ways to spend less than chase better paid but less satisfying jibs.

Silly

Ha Ha quite similar stories, except I didn't reach PHD, fully funded up to Masters level courses.
I'm still with the artist types as dh is a musician, so if I worked I'd miss all the fun
I too used to work from being 16 to 26 and had a successful business during the 80's.
Then when dc came along didn't want to work anymore.
I did teach for a year, but hated it.

It's not working that's the problem for me. It's working with kids. I would happily give up my job now so that I'm not constantly torn between the demands of work and the demands of home. Every day I am carrying a huge load of guilt that I'm not getting it right in either case.

Once the kids left home I am sure I would want to work again. Both mine have Asperger's btw so that might be part of it. And I work full-time. :(

I hated working. In the 8 years between graduating and quitting work to be a SAHM I dipped my foot in approximately 5 'careers' and was shit at all of them.

I'm now training for a career that I think I could love. There are lots of options when I qualify, but I'm equally scared of having a 'job'and hating working for/with other people, or starting my own business and being rubbish at the business side of it.

I'd like to think I'd be a hell of a lot more conscientious and committed and put a lot more into it, but I'm terrified I'll hate it after 18 months and want to quit like I have done everything else I've tried.

I love my job but it's 3 days a week. I think I'd be a bit less enthusiastic if I did 5.

That said, I'd rather do 5 days a week in work than 7 days a week at home...

Are you female, OP?

Perhaps you'd like to go back to the days when:

• women weren't supposed to work, so
• it was fine to pay women far far less than men, because
• they all had husbands and so they were looked after, even if
• their husbands beat them

Or go back to the days when:

• Women were not permitted to do certain jobs
• or train for certain jobs
• or keep the money they earned

Work is a good thing, it's important for you to be independent as an adult. Who's going to support you if you don't work?

Learn a little bit about history, look beyond your nose, read some of the things women wrote 100 or 200 years ago about their confined & unhealthy lives, kept in their homes and not allowed to be independent. Learn how people - especially women - battled for the right to work honestly and independently, and be paid a fair wage for that work.

FFS, YABVVVVU

It does make me worry for my sons the amount of young women on this thread who want to have babies and become sahms. Presumably you can only do this by having children with men who will support you financially long term.

I agree. This makes me quite cross. Despite knowing more than one couple where a woman is the high-earner and the other partner a SAHP, there are still far too many women hoping to earn their living by having babies.

It's a complex issue and one I ramble on about quite a lot - but, if we take some of the complexities out of it, I'm inclined to agree with past poster Xenia, who unpopularly maintained that SAHMs hurt feminism. More young women need to be thinking about choosing careers and industries, rather than thinking about a job to see them through until their uterus pays out.

I never saw it as my "uterus paying out" thanks very much.
I don't need a job or career. Been there, done that.
I want to live my life how I see fit, and as for feminism I'm using my right to choice.

Blimey, Garlick. That's not my feminism

regenerationfez I also agree. Not much to add other than what you've said.

Are you female, OP?

what does this have to do with anything?!?

Fine, the majority of people on mumsnet are female, but do you really believe that disliking your job is a female thing? Why do you have to turn this into a debate about feminism!

Who's going to support you if you don't work? well, I don't know, the Pope?

Can't you keep your aggressiveness for causes that really need it, and not jump on someone who is asking a fair question?

You're in an uncommonly privileged position, New. You're only representative of a tiny, tiny sector.

"When dc came along didn't want to work anymore" - If you're relying on your partner for your living, that is your uterus paying out.

YANBU

I daydream about giving up work!

I'm inclined to agree with garlick and I generally subscribe to feminism lite

To my mind I'm seeing many women my age now starting families who have no intention of ever going back to their careers. It angers me. All those years of training, all those job interviews and opportunities that could have gone to someone else who was committed to that career path.

I had my dc very young, barely out of my teens, and started my career soon after. I will definitely encourage my dc to do it the same way round and get the most out of life that way because once the kids are gone then I can have my down time.

I also feel for the men of this generation who were fed the independent woman line and now have a 50s family.

I like working but I hate getting up in the morning. I'd be ace on nights but teaching doesn't lend itself to that too easily!

Why can't you stop work?

Bear with me.

Lunch this is why I certainly agree having children young is a clever idea.

AnyFucker, would you say the PP's wrong to be concerned about whether her sons will be able to make a choice on whether to earn enough to keep a family single-handed?

That's my issue. As I've said, it is a complicated issue and very much a feminist one. The continued prevalence of women expecting & hoping to make their living by having children may well be more of a symptom than a cause, but it doesn't help any.

until their uterus pays out.

and that is not a simplistic comment either, to stay polite.

SAHM around me might live in big houses, but they are paid with mortgage from their previous job (or equity from house they paid!), have lifestyle partly paid by years of their own salary.

Without their contribution, husband would still be in a flat.

There's nothing to be ashamed in raising your own kids, there's nothing to be ashamed in taking a break from a high flying career you spent years and ridiculous hours building, there's nothing wrong in putting your kids first.

I have been in enough offices where people moan and can't wait for Friday, who spend their life wishing it away, and are depressed every Sunday night.

Woman have the right to chose, let's concentrate on the ones who haven't before putting down someone who has made other choices than you.

juneau yy, work is boring. Within 15 mins I'm counting down how long I've got left. Always have glowing reviews so it obviously doesn't show.

I could do so much more at home. My brain is more stimulated at home too, I can think in peace, cook and garden. Work is looking at a screen in silence.

Sorry, but what's wrong with relying on your DP to support you if you're a SAHM??

It's a joint decision, why is it anyone's business if one partner chooses to stay at home and rear their kids?

What, even the ones who are perfectly happy to have a SAH spouse lunchpack? Struggling to see why there'd be anything to be sorry for there.