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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I absolutely hate working and believe it to be the worst thing about being an adult. AIBU?

389 replies

IntoTheSunset · 01/12/2015 17:16

I'd like to allay any concerns that anyone might have about my work ethic firstly. No one has ever complained about it in any job I've had. I realise that people have to work. I just find it depressing that I will likely have to continue working into my sixties and beyond. I'm 42 and would gladly retire tomorrow if I could. I also don't like how a person's place in society is defined by their job ahead of anything else. Do any MNers feel similarly?

OP posts:
sillysocks · 01/12/2015 19:48

Can't stand working, haven't had a job for 20 years and have no plans to. Have been a sahm, student or just blagged my way through. Even with occasional voluntary work I find it encroaches on my free time and get annoyed when it gets in the way of leisure time or just lie-ins. I feel quite liberated that my status and identity aren't linked to my job.

GreenPotato · 01/12/2015 19:48

I'd never give up work however much money I won. My job is creative, I'm lucky I earn a living doing it but I do it to stay sane.

I would change how I work and the money would give me freedom to be more experimental - that's all.

I'd give plenty to charity too so it would go to people who can put it to good use!

LaurieFairyCake · 01/12/2015 19:50

sillysocks - how do you afford to have never worked?

Genuine question by the way, not snarky Grin

FindoGask · 01/12/2015 19:50

"What would you do if you didn't work? Can you find a job that encompasses that?"

We can't all do the job of our dreams. Some of us have to do the shit jobs, sometimes literally. I often hear this - variations on "find a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life" but for many people, it's really not that easy, unfortunately.

NewLife4Me · 01/12/2015 19:54

sillysocks

Ditto, there aren't too many of us about Grin
I have done 24 years now and also found that anything that I have to commit to encroaches on my own time.

I do support and help my dh with his business though, have lots of projects, or study I have done during this time.

sallyst123 · 01/12/2015 19:54

Agree with op a million %
I hate my job, I used to love it but now every day I wake wanting to cry about the fact I HAVE to work.
I go in I give it 100% but as I'm doing it its only the thought of okay thus shift is paying for food/water/kids clothes etc that helps me finish each shift.
Without a doubt next year I want to be doing a job (or working towards) that makes me happy.

magimedi · 01/12/2015 19:55

I loved my job - but I love being retired even more.

Don't know how I ever had the time to work!

(Worked in the horticultural industry - physically very taxing)

Garlick · 01/12/2015 19:58

I need to do some sort of work, whether it be thinking or pure creative. I'm happier when I do. I don't necessarily need to be employed though

I firmly believe humans have a basic drive to work. If you leave the job description and paycheque out of it, everybody works. Your most dedicated non-worker works at his 'not working', ducking & diving; your most pampered lady of leisure works on her image, shopping & chatting.

I'm pretty sure proper studies have been done on this, but everyday observation would tell you so: we all like to work. What's lacking is a broad enough structure to activate everyone's individual talents.

sillysocks · 01/12/2015 19:58

Well I spent quite a long time being a student (did a PhD), all funded, spent a few years hanging out with artists and eco-warriers living communally, lived with a couple of high earning partners (not at the same time) and for the past six years I've been a sahm. Seems quite a long time now but it's not true that I've never worked I did have a few jobs for a couple of years back in the past Grin

CPtart · 01/12/2015 19:58

I find myself looking at retired folk and feeling jealous.
I can withdraw my (reduced) pension in ten years and a bit, and feel like I'm already on countdown. I'm only 44 (nurse).

SinglePringle · 01/12/2015 20:07

I adore my job and know that it defines me to some degree. Not bothered by that at all.

My job is hugely stressful, long hours (was in at 8am and just left now), bleeds into my weekends and has made me miss some important life events. But it's also huge huge fun, creative, challenging and rewarding.

I want to keep on doing it for as long as I can!

Judydreamsofhorses · 01/12/2015 20:08

I hate my job and feel really stuck because it pays very well. Not sure what the answer is other than a lottery win in my case.

feckitall · 01/12/2015 20:08

You spend your whole childhood/youth waiting to be able to do what you like, when you like...then find that actually for most people that won't happen, bosses take over from teachers/parents and unless you are well paid you spend your life just trying to meet the bills, living a life beyond that is a just a day dream..Sad
.......we was robbed I tell ya! Grin
looks at lottery win wish list

PoorFannyRobin · 01/12/2015 20:09

Owning/running one's own business, having a job with a great deal of flexibility and autonomy, or having a profession with status or fame and authority or great remuneration -- not really even close to being the same thing as normal employment for the vast majority. And it's not a matter of feeling that one shouldn't have to earn one's keep.

Janeymoo50 · 01/12/2015 20:12

It all depends on the job and colleagues. But, I totally hear you, I just think it seems never ending and at 51 and having worked (luckily) full time since 15 years old, I'm just tired of it. The thought of possibly another 16 or so years depresses me beyond belief. I can honestly say I am fed up/tired of working.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/12/2015 20:13

I think the vast majority of jobs are totally shit though

There are so many jobs I've had that have plunged me into illness, depression, where I've been bullied or attacked (!).

miaowmix · 01/12/2015 20:13

I don't think I'd be bored not working per se, but I'd want to do all kinds of interesting things that require money, so yes I need to work, but thankfully (and I do feel thankful), I am in a job and an industry that I love.
Plus I'd go nutso not being around people all the time. I used to be freelance and went stir crazy!

regenerationfez · 01/12/2015 20:14

It sounds like it's the working for someone else that is the problem for many, and if I'm honest, me. I am going back to work on a sessional basis, so psychologically I'm not tied to one place. I would love to go Self employed but I would never not work again. To me, the benefit to my mental health of knowing I could support myself and my children if everything goes tits up is worth the hassle. It does make me worry for my son's the amount of young women on this thread who want to have babies and become sahm's. Presumably you can only do this by having children with men who will support you financially long term. I worry my son's won't have the choice to jack in a job they hate and pursue their hobbies and voluntary work. I worry they won't be able to say they don't want to be the sole earner, they want to work less and spend more time with their children. It only seems to be a female option. They are young now, hopefully shared parental leave means that by the time they have their own families, the choice is more equal.

phoenixrose314 · 01/12/2015 20:15

I enjoy my job. I don't love everything about it... but it gives me a sense of fulfilment, of purpose, even of identity - but I think that may be specific to the type of job I do (I teach). There's opportunities for progression, I have transferable skills so essentially I can work anywhere in the world, and best of all, the children are the reason I get out of bed every morning. No matter how tired or grouchy I am, they are always just genuinely happy to see me and tell me about this flower they saw or what they had for dinner last night or what they want for Christmas.

Still, given the elusive lottery win... I think I would cut back my hours. Or maybe not. Just give up when the paperwork overweighs the rewards of teaching.

Yeah, I like what I do, I earn good enough money for the life I want to lead.... If you're that bloody miserable, you need to find a new job!! Smile

mrsjanedoe · 01/12/2015 20:15

And I think it should be a rule of the lottery that you're barred from entering if wouldn't give up work! Leave the money to those of us who could put it to good use!

Bit harsh, some people have spent years maybe decades training or practicing their skills. Nothing wrong with being an expert in your field, or making a living out of your hobby, and be happy about it.

Most of us know from childhood that we have to work for a living. It's very sad that so many people haven't found something they enjoy. What a waste.
I wouldn't keep my job if I win the lottery, I wouldn't have enough time in a day to do all the things on my wish list, but if I hated my current job, I would run to find another one. Life is too short!

Badders123 · 01/12/2015 20:18

Work, consume, die....
And if you don't want to do that you are treated as some sort of lazy waste of space.
Sad, really.

glamourousgranny42 · 01/12/2015 20:18

I agree OP. I work to live not live to work. I enjoy my job most of the time. But if I could afford to give up and do the whole good life thing in a little cottage with my partner I would give up work tomorrow. There are lots of things I would like to do (like studying ) so I see retirement as a beginning not an end. Another 10-12 years left yet tho

juneau · 01/12/2015 20:20

All the people saying 'I couldn't not work! What do you people DO all day???', boy oh boy you guys lack imagination. I am honestly never bored at home, but I've been bored shitless at work when there isn't much to do and I'm having to 'look busy'.

At home I can do anything! Go to the gym, garden, walk, clean, do the laundry, chat on the phone, go shopping, read, cook, sort out the garage/playroom/whatever, sort out Christmas, help out at the school, attend daytime events, go to a museum, meet a friend ... there is literally never a dull moment.

SenecaFalls · 01/12/2015 20:22

I love my job. I am past retirement age and chose to keep working, although I did go to part time. To me this is the perfect situation at my stage in life.

AnyFucker · 01/12/2015 20:22

I feel bad for people who hate their job

Considering most spend at least 8 hours a day doing it. The same amount of time you spend asleep. A third of your day. 5/7 of your week ! (on average)

Must be bloody miserable Sad