To ask how many of you would rather not do 'token' presents for relatives?

[Bearbehind]

I'm a bit preoccupied with Christmas shopping at the moment and have seen several threads on here and had a couple of conversations IRL where people are stressing about finding a 'token' gift for relatives.

In some instances, there's about 8 - 10 people to buy for which adds up, even for a small gift. It's very difficult to buy something worth having for even £10.

Personally I think this means you end up buying about £80- £100 of not so great stuff and receiving the same in return.

I know it can be a difficult conversation but if the Christmas Fairy could magic away that awkward bit, how many of you would prefer to stop buying for adult relatives altogether rather than continuing the token gift route or just do a 1 gift a Secret Santa?

Again chanie that will depend entirely on the recipient. I think this thread has made it pretty clear that there are plenty of people who just wouldn't welcome any more stuff.

I don't see that we can generalise about what aunts on their own want. Presumably some of them love the whole thing and some of them hate it, just the same as any other demographic group within the population. You can't just presume that because someone is single they'll be thrilled about a dozen token gifts.

Well yes I agree. I know in my family it would be bad form to give nothing. It's would be considered thoughtless. They would probably buy for my dc whatever. I try not to buy tat, but will get something they've either said they might like or I think they could use. It doesn't have to be expensive. A book or some coffee they like is fine. I don't buy because I think I have to, as in a gift for a gift, I buy because I want to. It's a sort of sharing thing that's a tradition.

It depends. I like giving gifts but I just don't have the money for large presents. We've agreed to do small £10 token gifts for my Mum, Dad and brother this year. Mum and brother are easy - books I know my Mum wants and a DVD boxset for my brother; but something my Dad wants for about £10 is stumping me.

Barbara - it depends on the Food Bank - our's is an 'independent one' ie: not Trussel Trust or similar. We never turn anything away, somethings we can't use if they are past their 'use by' date but we put home made jams etc out for people to help themselves to, if they wish.

It's all very well saying that if you're a close family they will know you well and buy something that suits your taste. The problem is that I don't have a budget big enough to buy anything at all for myself through the year. All my spare money generally goes on work clothes/shoes for me, essentials/hobbies for the kids and birthday/Xmas presents for others. As a result of that, no-one knows what my taste is because I can't remember the last time I chose myself a piece of jewellery or a scarf or gloves etc. So people don't know what I like Because I've got no way of "displaying" my taste. Consequently I have gloves, scarves, jewellery, decorative stuff for the house that other people buy me to their taste, that others then see and assume are my own taste and so they buy that sort of thing in the future, thinking that that's the sort of thing I like!.

I would love to stop buying people crap THEY don't need so that I could actually afford to furnish my house with things that I myself have chosen and dress myself in items that I have picked. Call me selfish but that's how I feel.

PS: DH's nan gives the best present - a tenner sellotaped to a box of maltesers! The perfect present for me - I love those, and I can put the tenner towards a bigger item that I can choose muself.

I hate token gifts, they are usually something crap purchased by people who can't be arsed to think about what you would like.
A few years ago, I received about 15 gallons of bloody boots spa crap, a pack of fake mustaches and a toy fart machine. I would rather they didn't bother (grateful I know! )
I have told everyone who will listen that wine, gin , a nice single malt or chocolates are gratefully received. Never get any though!

Blimey, that sounds really grumpy and grabby! Sorry. Just it's been years since I've had something nice and I try so hard to buy others nice things.
I might write to santa in a minute with my children!