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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I love Christmas and I make a fuss of my kids so Aibu to tell people who are clearly envious to sod the hell off?

277 replies

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 16:01

Hi I have four children age 10,8,6 and 4 and Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year as it is for a lot of people. They are the most loveliest, happy, appreciative children you could imagine and whilst they aren't overly spoilt in terms of gifts they do get to enjoy other things associated with the festive period.

I'm currently I sahm (du works full time) I worked when my oldest three were little but when I had our youngest I decided to take a couple of years out until she was ready for school (next year) so I have the time to plan things over Christmas that maybe I wouldn't have had time to plan or do if I were working full time. To say I've come across a lot of negativity from some friends/family/aquaintenaces is kind of an understatement. I'm not one of those pushy, over enthused, obsessive parents who like to rub things what I'm doing in other peoples faces but if people ask what I'm doing and what I'm doing over Christmas then I'll happily tell them, but I wish I hadn't bothered now.

Over the next few weeks we have quite a lot on ie trip to see Santa (of course lol) a day out at a reindeer farm, breakfast with Santa at our local garden centre, day out at an indoor Christmas theme park. And as a lot of parents I've done the usual portable North Pole messages, ordered personalised Christmas letters and Christmas plates and I've spent time doing arts and crafts and making a lot of handmade Christmas gifts for family.

Now this sort of thing I love as do my kids and we really enjoy getting stuck in over Christmas but clearly some people have a problem with the effort I make. I told two grandma what I had planned and what I'd been up to and they sort of sighed saying that I'm Mary poppins, one friend then went onto Facebook the same evening and put at stays along the lines of she doesn't understand why Christmas is such a competition for some parents and why the hell they feel the need to take their kids on loads of trips she doesn't know!

I don't usually put anything on Facebook really and only tag in probably once a year when we are on our annual holiday but I decided the other day to put a status on saying how excited I was for Christmas and that we had lots of activities planned and I couldn't wait for the kids to break up from school. Well all I got was oh you must be crazy wishing the kids to break up, and you don't have to keep the kids entertained 24/7 Kath I'm sure they're capable of doing stuff on their own!

I was kind of shocked at first but when I thought about it, these sort of comments didn't surprise me as they were mainly off the same group of people (who are not necessarily friends just people I know) who do absolutely bugger all with their own kids and who would rather go out of a weekend spending all their money and then are too hungover and skint the next day to bother doing anything. And whilst what they chose to do with their own lives is their decision it's also up to me what I do myself, and i don't expect to have digs at me just because I enjoy spending time time with my kids and family. So would I be unreasonable to just ignore the ones on Facebook and to tell my so called real friends to keep their bloody opinions to themselves?

OP posts:
3point14159265359 · 29/11/2015 17:06

Shiteing on is my new favourite expression.

Bodicea · 29/11/2015 17:08

Op I think people have been unecessarily mean and snidey to you for no good reason. Nobody seems to be able do anything on fb anymore without being told they are bragging. I honestly don't know what could possible seen as an acceptable Fb post according to mumsnet. Your Christmas sounds fab. I love doing all this kind of stuff with my pfb. I also like going out drinking a bit etc but do less of that these days, after all why have kids if you don't want to do fun stuff with them?

ghostyslovesheep · 29/11/2015 17:10

BINGO! Grin

TheHiphopopotamus · 29/11/2015 17:14

Stop looking at Facebook, job done.

Maybe your friends are sick of hearing you bang on and on about Christmas. I ont read one post from you and I'd had enough.

TheHiphopopotamus · 29/11/2015 17:15

*only not ont

CathOnABoat · 29/11/2015 17:16

Some of them might be envious but tbh your festive activities do sound a bit OTT. Personalised plates? Hmm Frankly if I was one of your kids I'd feel exhausted just reading your itinerary...but if they're really as into all this stuff as you are then good for them, and good for you, and I hope you have a fantastic time! It might be an idea just to check with them that they're really as keen on all of it as you are, though - maybe they are, in which case great, but it's possible that some of your family might prefer a bit more chill out time rather than going overboard with activities Smile

Yes, your friends (or Facebook acquaintances, or whatever they are) should respect your wishes to have a really active Christmas if that will make you and your family happy. You should also respect the fact that that's not everyone's cup of tea. Not everyone who prefers a more relaxed Christmas is doing that because they're too lazy or don't have the time/money. Some people, even kids, really do just enjoy chilling out rather than buzzing all over town like a hyperactive elf Grin

Youarentkiddingme · 29/11/2015 17:23

I think I'm doing well if I'm not running around last minute on 23rd December trying to get everything organised for 'elves day'. (Just something my friend and I made up!)

If you want a busy Christmas visiting places then you do that. But your last paragraph indicates that even you judge others by what they chose to do.

I think things like birthday, Easter, Christmas etc are very personal and everyone will have their own traditions and ways of doing things.

fuzzpig · 29/11/2015 17:24

Meh. Who cares what other people do! Just enjoy yourself.

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 17:28

How are my plans at all OTT? Most families visit Santa do they not? The reindeer farm is literally a five minute walk down the road, so why not? the PNP was completely free and the personalised plate is from a friend who has a business on Facebook selling them, etc.

OP posts:
Sansoora · 29/11/2015 17:31

Each to their own and I think your Christmas sounds really nice but keeping it to yourself is the way to go. Those who are closest to you will know the Christmas you have planned and will accept it as being what you like to do, and as for anyone else - they just don't matter.

Are people around you envious? Some probably are and other more than likely don't give a damn and just want you to shut up about things.

Oh and they probably all know you're nasty about how they spend their weekend and how they parent their children. I would put money on them liking to take the royal piss out of you any chance they get.

You deserve it.

regenerationfez · 29/11/2015 17:37

The things you are doing sound fair enough to me. Lots of people end up going to loads of Christmas fairs and to see Santa etc. I do think it's the tone you have taken. It sounds like you have taken things that lots of people do with their kids and made it into something that turns you into mummy of the year. I love christmas. I wasn't envious, I just thought what a lot of clutter you must have if every year for 4 kids you have Christmas plates and homemade gifts!

LineyReborn · 29/11/2015 17:43

It's just so boring though, isn't it? Yawn your way through someone else's Christmas plans or what.

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 17:45

How is it boring? Would it be more interesting for people to read that I'm out on the piss every weekend? For example.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 29/11/2015 17:46

It's funny how much of this is about tone. I have a friend who does so much of this stuff. Normally I would be a bit Hmm because it's a LOT. But she's so sweet and caring and nice to people, that Christmas just seems like it suits her. She can post as many Santa-hatted selfies as she likes because no one cares. Some people do have a certain way of talking about their lives that seems annoying and boastful.

Sparklingbrook · 29/11/2015 17:46

I agree Liney. Someone else's Christmas plans? i barely have energy for my own. Grin

I don't have FB which is a huge plus when avoiding other peoples goings-on.

Shutthatdoor · 29/11/2015 17:46

so I assume it was about me.

So you don't actually know it was.

I absolutely love Christmas but I do find all of the Facebook comments/pics of piles of presents at this time of year a type of stealth boasting.

I also don't like the threads about 'how much do you spend'.

Each to their own. Do what you like, but if you put something on SM don't expect everyone to think the same way you do.

Nottodaythankyouorever · 29/11/2015 17:47

How is it boring?

For some people it is. There doesn't have to be a reason!

BorisJohnsonsHair · 29/11/2015 17:49

Surely it's excited "about" Christmas, not "for"?

[runs off to Pedants' Corner ...]

Sparklingbrook · 29/11/2015 17:49

It's a bit like when someone tells you about their dream.

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 17:49

I do realise that people/families do things differently to me, that's absolutely fine, it'd be boring if we were all the same but for people to slate me and try and belittle me for doing things with my children when i know that these people in particular chose to do nothing with their own kids, well it's out of order. I wouldn't usually comment on other people's lives like this and what they do or not do with their own children but when I'm being criticised I'll do what I like.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 29/11/2015 17:49

I think your problem lies in the fact that you can't see how tedious some people evidently find your public Christmas itinerary.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/11/2015 17:51

Op, I think I'm starting to understand why people might not like your Facebook posts, just from your posts here. People don't like incessant christmas chatter but you're not willing to accept that.

mandala1fromTES · 29/11/2015 17:52

You do know Santa doesn't actually exist, OP, don't you?

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 17:53

Yes it is Boris, you're correct, but it's a public forum after all not a dissertation so I tend to write things how they sound in my head, sometimes it's quicker and easier that way, but I apologise for not being grammatically correct.

OP posts:
originalmavis · 29/11/2015 17:53

shiteing on molly may I borrow that expression? I've not heard it before and i think I may have use of it.

Wasn't there a thread like this a little while ago? It didn't end well.

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