I love Christmas and I make a fuss of my kids so Aibu to tell people who are clearly envious to sod the hell off?

[KathGeorge1]

Hi I have four children age 10,8,6 and 4 and Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year as it is for a lot of people. They are the most loveliest, happy, appreciative children you could imagine and whilst they aren't overly spoilt in terms of gifts they do get to enjoy other things associated with the festive period.

I'm currently I sahm (du works full time) I worked when my oldest three were little but when I had our youngest I decided to take a couple of years out until she was ready for school (next year) so I have the time to plan things over Christmas that maybe I wouldn't have had time to plan or do if I were working full time. To say I've come across a lot of negativity from some friends/family/aquaintenaces is kind of an understatement. I'm not one of those pushy, over enthused, obsessive parents who like to rub things what I'm doing in other peoples faces but if people ask what I'm doing and what I'm doing over Christmas then I'll happily tell them, but I wish I hadn't bothered now.

Over the next few weeks we have quite a lot on ie trip to see Santa (of course lol) a day out at a reindeer farm, breakfast with Santa at our local garden centre, day out at an indoor Christmas theme park. And as a lot of parents I've done the usual portable North Pole messages, ordered personalised Christmas letters and Christmas plates and I've spent time doing arts and crafts and making a lot of handmade Christmas gifts for family.

Now this sort of thing I love as do my kids and we really enjoy getting stuck in over Christmas but clearly some people have a problem with the effort I make. I told two grandma what I had planned and what I'd been up to and they sort of sighed saying that I'm Mary poppins, one friend then went onto Facebook the same evening and put at stays along the lines of she doesn't understand why Christmas is such a competition for some parents and why the hell they feel the need to take their kids on loads of trips she doesn't know!

I don't usually put anything on Facebook really and only tag in probably once a year when we are on our annual holiday but I decided the other day to put a status on saying how excited I was for Christmas and that we had lots of activities planned and I couldn't wait for the kids to break up from school. Well all I got was oh you must be crazy wishing the kids to break up, and you don't have to keep the kids entertained 24/7 Kath I'm sure they're capable of doing stuff on their own!

I was kind of shocked at first but when I thought about it, these sort of comments didn't surprise me as they were mainly off the same group of people (who are not necessarily friends just people I know) who do absolutely bugger all with their own kids and who would rather go out of a weekend spending all their money and then are too hungover and skint the next day to bother doing anything. And whilst what they chose to do with their own lives is their decision it's also up to me what I do myself, and i don't expect to have digs at me just because I enjoy spending time time with my kids and family. So would I be unreasonable to just ignore the ones on Facebook and to tell my so called real friends to keep their bloody opinions to themselves?

The childish playground taunt on this thread is the accusation of "ganging up". It is not "ganging up" if several posters disagree with the op.

It's not only MN, but AIBU, you might get the response that you are in fact unreasonable.

I am actually quite sad at the amount of bitchiness that's going on on this thread. It's like half of you are only on here because you're spoiling for an argument. The OP came on here for some positive advice, and actually a lot of you are behaving as if she has done something completely despicable - so what if she wants to share something she's excited about on fb?? Why shouldn't she? That's what most people do on fb!! Some of you need to take a look at yourselves, your behaviour on here is much worse than anything OP has said or done, it's like a coven of witches. None of you actually know OP and have made some massive assumptions about her. How would you feel to have all these people sniping and sneering at you this way? Whether or not you realise it you are acting like bullies. OP obviously loves her kids, wants to do nice things with them and is perfectly entitled to post it on fb if she wishes, millions of people do every day. Grow up.

Ooh, handbags.

I understand what you mean I think OP, I know a couple of people who will almost have competitive conversations on how much they loathe spending time with their DC, are very condescending about SAHM and if you ever mentioned your plans would always criticise and come up with outlandish ways in which it was a shit idea and you shouldn't bother. In their case I also happen to know they love their DC loads and also try really hard for them but are usually disappointed at how it works out (overly stressy/argumentative household with lots of daily family rows)
So I think you're right that sometimes the negative comments do come from a place of envy/stress/guilt/disappointment.
However, I wouldn't presume the FB comments are about you, most likely they're not. And just avoid getting into those types of conversations with people who have already shown that that's how they respond. It'll just make you both feel bad.

This uncannily reads just like the Halloween one....

In fact some of the likeness is erm....remarkable.

Seems this brand new poster and Halloween thrush have many things in common.

Awaiting next Easter or maybe a pancake day extravaganza.

It may have been asked but why are the tickets free because you can pay with PayPal op?

in this case im not sure what to make of it because of the other thread thats very simlar...

But in general i think its up to people what they put on fb. nothing can be said theses days.. someone says their kids doing well at school. they offend someone whos child is struggling... getting married offend someone who marrige has broken down... having a 3rd boy.. reply oh you have 3 boys. girl would have been nice... person offened... we talk about births i had a drug free birth... its not a competion you know... wow im so happy i got a lovely new car... boasting... had a lovely day out with family... boasting... got dd a new bike today shes very happy.... boasting....

can anything be posted without offending people or being told its boasting

Op if you're the Halloween poster why not just say? The threads are so similar it seems phenomenally unlikely that it is someone else. If it is you, just own it-you clearly love doing things with your kids and that's totally fine.

i agree with purple it could have been a case that you forgot about the other thread if it is you that is... i have made threads simlar. because i have forgotten about the other one i made. can be easy done.

Thing is you just need to develop a thick skin......I don't give a crap about what other people do for their kids at Christmas and similarly they shouldn't care what I do. If somebody has posted a few negative comments on Facebook which may or may not be directed at you then just shrug it off, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Don't fall into the trap of your life being validated by what's put on Facebook

Whatever happening to doing stuff. Then telling people when you've done it. Or if they specifically ask.
I just dont get the need to inform the whole world of your plans/what you are buying etc etc. I hate facebook

Aye I think you're right. Or the OP has been incredibly irritating to a lot of people she knows well in the past about all her Mary Poppins antics and they have finally had enough. As others have mentioned, lots of people post things about their Christmas plans on Facebook. Thats what its for. I have never seen people being so rude to anyone else. I might roll my eyes in private or say in person to DH that I think its OTT, but I wouldn't post on facebook, and neither have I ever seen anyone else do it.

[It is sooooo the Halloween poster - I thought so straightaway.]

Also reminds me of mil, who used to state the blimmin' obvious but paint it as something unique to her. Of course we all like our dcs and like magical moments - just because we don't drone on about it doesn't mean we are indifferent to our dcs.

Mil's catchphrase would be, "Maybe it's just me, but... [insert very common liked thing]" Eg, "Maybe it's just me, but I do like the sound of the sea." Or, "Maybe it's just me, but I do like Christmas Eve." Sarcasm completely passed her by, so she took it at face value when I replied, "The sound of the sea? No, I think you'll find that's quite rare to like that." Or, "You like Christmas Eve? Good heavens! I'm a mid-February person myself." And mil would smile smugly to herself that she was so speshul.

OP are you Kirstie Allsop?

Rhoda that really tickled me like miranda's mum when she says "I'm going to have, what I call, a cup of tea/nice sit down/bit of 'me' time

"My eldest has just started year 6 so this will (I expect) be her last year of believing "
FFS. Either a delusional mother, a particularly stupid child or - could it possibly be? - a WUA.

Whichever, I wish you a Merry Norovirus and a thinner New Year.

Just enjoy all you have planned and don't worry about what other's may think. I am similar with lots of Christmassy outings etc planned, but I have learned not to tell people much about them. It is really not very interesting to other people and it can have an effect of making someone feel maybe they should be doing more, hence 'jokey' 'mary poppins, supermum' type comments', which are not really meant in a truely bitchy way but probably a hint you should change the topic.

Merry Norovirus

I can think of a few people I'd wish that on...

It doesn't make other people feel they should be doing more at all, oobedobe, it just very simply means they don't want to hear about it.

I agree with you oobedobe. I'm a SAHM and, being brutally honest, we aren't hard up, so I do stacks of things with my DCs in school holidays. But posting it all on social media is basically showing off and potentially rubbing someone else's nose in it. Don't get me wrong, I'd chat about what I was doing with friends/family if it was appropriate in conversation - but plastering things all over the Internet is just inviting comment. It's a shame that some of your 'friends' felt the need to be mean and negative as, really, it sounds like OP is going to have a lovely time. But therein lies the lesson - leave Facebook alone!

Maybe "Mary Poppins" is meant nicely, maybe they were at a loss what else to say? Because I bet there are reasons other than your FB friends' debauchery and hangovers why they won't go to the same attractions you do.

Would you rather have honesty? As in "Reindeer farm- how sad, the poor reindeer, indoor Christmas theme park, how depressing, underpaid student Santa at the garden centre of all places, hmm..."

What does breakfast with Santa at the local garden centre involve?

Cornflakes in the green house or scrambled egg and toast beside the terracotta pots?

I thought this sounded remarkably like Halloween mum too.

Squoosh

Exactly

Our local garden centre have cashed in on the hype also....they do flipping omelettes Santa style with Santa hats on

They are competing with our local reindeer farm.

You can't even pop for a potter around the garden centre these days

Everyone cashes in.

Who knew garden centres had been turned into such bustling hives of seasonal activity. Next it will be acrobatic displays in the library.