I love Christmas and I make a fuss of my kids so Aibu to tell people who are clearly envious to sod the hell off?

[KathGeorge1]

Hi I have four children age 10,8,6 and 4 and Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year as it is for a lot of people. They are the most loveliest, happy, appreciative children you could imagine and whilst they aren't overly spoilt in terms of gifts they do get to enjoy other things associated with the festive period.

I'm currently I sahm (du works full time) I worked when my oldest three were little but when I had our youngest I decided to take a couple of years out until she was ready for school (next year) so I have the time to plan things over Christmas that maybe I wouldn't have had time to plan or do if I were working full time. To say I've come across a lot of negativity from some friends/family/aquaintenaces is kind of an understatement. I'm not one of those pushy, over enthused, obsessive parents who like to rub things what I'm doing in other peoples faces but if people ask what I'm doing and what I'm doing over Christmas then I'll happily tell them, but I wish I hadn't bothered now.

Over the next few weeks we have quite a lot on ie trip to see Santa (of course lol) a day out at a reindeer farm, breakfast with Santa at our local garden centre, day out at an indoor Christmas theme park. And as a lot of parents I've done the usual portable North Pole messages, ordered personalised Christmas letters and Christmas plates and I've spent time doing arts and crafts and making a lot of handmade Christmas gifts for family.

Now this sort of thing I love as do my kids and we really enjoy getting stuck in over Christmas but clearly some people have a problem with the effort I make. I told two grandma what I had planned and what I'd been up to and they sort of sighed saying that I'm Mary poppins, one friend then went onto Facebook the same evening and put at stays along the lines of she doesn't understand why Christmas is such a competition for some parents and why the hell they feel the need to take their kids on loads of trips she doesn't know!

I don't usually put anything on Facebook really and only tag in probably once a year when we are on our annual holiday but I decided the other day to put a status on saying how excited I was for Christmas and that we had lots of activities planned and I couldn't wait for the kids to break up from school. Well all I got was oh you must be crazy wishing the kids to break up, and you don't have to keep the kids entertained 24/7 Kath I'm sure they're capable of doing stuff on their own!

I was kind of shocked at first but when I thought about it, these sort of comments didn't surprise me as they were mainly off the same group of people (who are not necessarily friends just people I know) who do absolutely bugger all with their own kids and who would rather go out of a weekend spending all their money and then are too hungover and skint the next day to bother doing anything. And whilst what they chose to do with their own lives is their decision it's also up to me what I do myself, and i don't expect to have digs at me just because I enjoy spending time time with my kids and family. So would I be unreasonable to just ignore the ones on Facebook and to tell my so called real friends to keep their bloody opinions to themselves?

If you talk to people and do posts on face book, in the tone you have done here...people are annoyed because you come across a bit superior and braggy.

Personally I wouldn't have commented though. I would have unfriended though

As wipsglitter said, this is almost word for word the same as a post I read at half term.

You should get together with that mum and console each other.

You're boring your friends. They don't really care what you're doing next month. Every bugger likes Christmas, but getting all squeee! about it in November is irksome to the average adult.

It's boredom, not jealousy that is making them react badly to your December diary recital.

Whether you do a lot or a little at Christmas (or any other time), is completely up to you and you should have confidence in your own decisions, without caring if other people approve or not. If I suspect someone is going to disapprove of my choices, I simply don't tell them - why court unnecessary criticism? Your activities are for your family's enjoyment - I would keep them private and not let other people's reactions spoil them.

It's not MrsGently, no. I too like to go out socialising, the only reason I mentioned what I did was because these individuals on Facebook who are having digs at me for enjoying my time with my children are the ones who post weekly about how hungover they are and how they are laying in bed whilst their kids are sat on iPads/watched TV. And whilst that's up to them what they do, it's also up to me how I spend my time and my Christmas.

If only everyone could live and let live. There's nothing wrong with getting excited over Xmas and spending time with your children obviously. I think the problem is often people feel judged for NOT doing the same ie spending time crafting with the kids or looking forward to them being off school that they, wrongly, get defensive when there's really no need, I'm sure you're not judging them on how they spend their time.

Ah, they're the shit parents are you're the good parent. You think you're better than them. Why didn't you make that assertion clearer in the op?

Do what you want and no need to comment on what others do. Why do you feel the need to post all your activities on social media, honestly nobody apart from your dc cares

Well why else act so bitter and nasty if they're not a little envious?

Well... Are you jealous of them going out drinking? Because you've criticised that decision.

And surely they could choose to do the things you do if they wanted to? So if they were envious then they'd just go ahead and do them.

Didn't you already post this re a wonderful summer or half term as an earth mother, post is very identifiable.

Smug parenting by non workers seems to be rife on facebook, presumably as they have time to post constantly.

I'm boring them?.....seriously. You should see the stuff I see on Facebook, not all of it is of interest to me granted, everyone's lives are different and they have an array of stuff going on, but I'll just scroll past in that case and not comment sarcastically or put on a nasty status.

It's boredom...apathy.... People don't care so much these days! Xmas is just one day....one, not the whole month of December!

Well get some different friends then. You don't seem to think much of your current ones.

You're in luck op. Another poster had exactly this problem at half term. Almost word for word. No need to repeat just search for a thread from a couple of months ago about Halloween activities. Warning: it's a full stealth boast like this one.

I love Christmas to the point that DH declares Buddy the Elf has nothing on me. But declaring it on Facebook is a bit dull, to be honest, and if you're reciting a list of what you're up to it can seem a bit braggy and show-offy, so you can't blame people for rolling their eyes.

On the other hand though, perhaps Christmas really is tough for those people who are "envious" of you. Perhaps they've had a love one pass away, perhaps they'll be on their own, perhaps they're struggling financially to provide all the endless tat their DCs want and are perpetually fearful that one large bill could wipe their Christmas out? I don't think it's necessarily envy. Christmas is tough for some. Holidays are tough for some. Try and have some empathy; as I say I'm batshit about all things Christmas but still understand that not everyone loves it as I do.

I genuinely believe no-one other than your kids will care

This. In buckets.

If people are having a dig at you on Facebook they probably don't like your slightly superior sounding tone and are probably taking from it the implication that you think you are JUST. TOO. MARVELLOUS. FOR. WORDS.
Dahling.

Like someone said up there somewhere. Stop shiteing on about it.

Yes, I think OP and the Halloween activities at half term poster are a match made in heaven.

I would step away from Facebook though.

Most of the Xmas excitement on FB revolves around presents and food. Never seen such weird excitement over a few Costa Xmas themed paper cups

Hah what a cross post. You have no place bemoaning being judged when you think it's a perfectly acceptable thing to do yourself, IMO.

And whilst that's up to them what they do, it's also up to me how I spend my time and my Christmas

No one is denying you your right to enjoy christmas as you please. I can, however, understand people either mistaking what you're saying for either bragging or being a 'holier than thou' parent. Others are also right about putting up this type of thing when it's not even November yet. Someone on my FB put up a picture of their decorated tree a couple of weeks ago - honestly, I did eye-roll. It's all well and good getting excited, but it's a December event, end of Dec at that. Plus, I'd not be so braggy on FB, you never know who's struggling to provide nice things for their families this time of year.

You're being just as judgy. Perhaps they think you're envious (if they share your logic). Chances are they think you're just run of the mill bragging about what you think is better than anyone parenting. You're not being their friend really, are you? Bitching about them online. Making your judgemental digs to counter your apparent view that you're perfection.

'Why are you asking us??

Sounds like stealth boast'

Great example of what you're talking about OP.

People get pissed off when they've specifically asked you what you're doing, and posters have a go when you say what you'd like to talk about (on a forum for talking!).

Did you say anything to whoever it was posting about Christmas being a competition for some people? It's pretty shitty to have a sly dig at someone using your fb status, what kinds of responses did they get?

I remember that earlier post but op has said it wasn't her.

Don't let other people 's opinions spoil your time. I have friends who plan a lot, and I admit, I do get envious when I see them doing something exciting regularly ( and wonder how they can afford it!).

However, then I think some of the things we do perhaps seem exciting to other people.

Ignore them and enjoy the special,time with your kids.

Woah put the pitchforks and daggers away, poor old OP, she's done nothing to deserve this!

OP I would say just ignore them, really, and don't read too much into it - it's just throwaway comments. Enjoy doing Christmas your way, I bet your kids are making great memories.

I need a relative like you time, who I could delegate all xmas jollity to for the sake of my children.

I hate it, but also recognise the need to not share this view with others (unless they're similarly minded).